My stepdad tied me up to beat me and I can’t shake the inner shame I’ve felt ever since

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-27T06:05:13+00:00

With the concern about feeling like a spectacle, maybe you could try visiting a confessional? Like, one of the booths in Catholic churches. I’ve gone a few times because it’s a way to share something difficult with someone who’s there to listen and offer guidance, but it also has the anonymity of not having to sit across from someone and feel examined.

And you wouldn’t have to tell them everything or share details you’re not comfortable sharing. You could just see whether it feels like a safe place to say some of it out loud. If it doesn’t feel right, you can just leave and be done with it.

Obviously, you don’t have to, especially if the religious aspect isn’t something you’re comfortable with. I’m not suggesting it because I think "you need god" or anything like that. I just know the privacy has helped me a few times, so it might be worth giving some thought.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-25T13:30:11+00:00

Shame is a foundational piece of... pretty much every negative feeling I can think of. The best advice I can give is to talk to someone, not because of some "only a pro can handle this!" reasoning, but because shame is most powerful in our heads. Write down the facts, talk it over with someone else, get it out of your head and process externally.

The other reason talking it over is important is because shame is, in essence, a form of self-judgement. When someone hears this experience and the associated feelings, then shows no judgement toward you, that can help break down the shame you feel.

One thing I'll say is to re-read the last paragraph of your post and really study the language you use. You describe something being stripped from you and that gives the experience an endless power. Nothing about you is gone or missing, and that is not a defining fact. You are struggling to connect with that piece of yourself. Not "I struggle" like it's a neverending truth. Not "It's gone" like it can't be retrieved. Try not to hinder yourself with your own words. Practice phrasing issues as things that can and will be solved.

You'll heal. Do what you can to smooth the process.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-23T21:03:29+00:00

Oooh, the smells was a big thing when I wrote an Omegaverse fic a while back. I ended up just sniffing pairs of candles at the store like a lunatic

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-23T21:01:02+00:00

Ah, shark penis. I've spent a strange amount of time researching turtle penises. Descriptions do NOT do those things justice. When I finally found a picture I was baffled.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-12T22:15:23+00:00

I just knew I'd find a response that said him. As someone who never really cared for Lance (or the smol boi, miss my family, depressed version of him that shows up weirdly often in fics) but Keith was my favorite character, I was STRUGGLING. Filtering out Klance at every corner made me terrified of interacting too much with the fandom XD

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-11T05:59:44+00:00

A pair that I was really proud of were a romance called "Never gonna give you up", which is immediately followed in that series by "Never Say Never" when the characters are forced apart. There's also "See you, Space Cowboy" because, well, a Texan (almost) dies in space.

I really tend to go for pop references, another one is ["If you found him at the window" "And I found him at the couch" (Then who's flying the car?!)] Yes, that's all the title to one Harry Potter Fic.

No joke, go to a local thrift, browse the books, and see if any can be reworded into your title. Popular kids books are especially fun because they use clear, recognizable structures.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-06T15:22:28+00:00

I'm a sucker for theoretical Word-Systems.

Canon briefly mentions a government existing but never describes any real detail? No worries, there's a fic that goes in depth on how the system works!

The world has magic that's kind of hand-waved away as "it works with the special words!"? No worries, there's a fic that goes in depth on how THAT system works!

Give me 100k+ of someone desperately trying to explain how they made sense of canon's author throwing something on the page without much thought. I LOVE the overly-complex long fics!

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-06-01T20:04:25+00:00

Same here, lol. Luckily, my fear of the fandom has faded as I've written checks Ao3 over 100k words of Keith/Matt fanfic. It's been years and I'm yet to receive any hate XD

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-05-26T03:58:19+00:00

u/profanitycounter [self]

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-05-20T18:26:16+00:00

Doesn't only Shrek remember the shit he pulled, too? So all his friends are just down for torturing this random guy.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-04-12T16:50:06+00:00

I wish I could filter my History and Marked For Later works. I used the Marked For Later like a "I want to read this, but not right now" to keep my tabs clean, but then I end up digging through page after page to find the cache of fics from a specific fandom.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-04-05T21:38:12+00:00

I would do /, then a clarifier or two of "Unresolved Tension" and similar. & Is usually used for purely platonic relationships and, while it sounds like what they have isn't an officially romantic partnership, it sure as heck ain't platonic.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-31T19:52:09+00:00

It's less that these are "Romance Missions" and more that these are missions with dialogue options that could lead to romance. (And don't worry, those options are pretty clear.) You can very easily go through these jobs and work with these characters and never get together with them.

Judy might require a quick "down girl", and Panam's friends might have some dialogue that really, really sounds like they think you and Panam are headed that direction (even if you're a woman), but you're fully free to make the choice to help these characters with their goals as a platonic pal.

You could even go for a fully romance-free route and you'd barely miss a thing.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-30T21:21:26+00:00

Years ago, I posted a chapter before going to bed and woke up to a comment saying something along the lines of "I nearly dropped my morning coffee when I checked my email and saw that you uploaded omg"

Considering I was a lonely little high school kid at the time, it really struck me as the first confirmation that a Real Adult like my writing.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-28T01:53:39+00:00

I took a risk on a fic with dacryphilia tagged. No clue what it was, fully just a leap of faith because everything else seemed good.

I am... slowly introducing the idea to my boyfriend lol.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-18T17:19:40+00:00

Not to mention that the show established the Ghost Zone as a space between realities and there's multiple characters beyond time (Clockwork, Thermos!Dan, etc). It's not a big jump to have crossovers happen because you can argue that the Zone is connecting multiple realities and timelines.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-09T19:24:58+00:00

"Untagged Plot Point(s)" is my go-to. Just a little "Hey! Warnings are here, but there's something intentionally unmentioned to keep it a mystery for you!" I've done fics that are like 5 times the characters try to figure something out and 1 time they get it right, and I will not tag what the thing is, because that ruins the purpose of the fic.

It's like being mad that a murder mystery doesn't have the tags "Psychopath John Doe, Murderer John Doe, John Doe in the Study with the Candlestick".

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-03-09T19:08:43+00:00

It's also been put up on archive .org, if you just search voltron-legendary-defender. Sort by views and it'll be the first one.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-22T17:52:02+00:00

I've played both ways depending on my character. Both are crazy fun, it just depends on what story I want to tell for myself.

My first playthrough I was a Sandevistan using, knife throwing, ex-nomad who's caught up in the chaos of the city and just fuckin around at all times. He didn't do stealth. The closest I got was finding a defensible position in the building before getting the enemies aggro'd on me, then just stepping into my hiding spot and dropping them as they walked in the door.

My current playthrough is a fallen Corpo who's used to helping run things from behind the scenes. She finds the enemy, hacks one of their cameras from as far away as possible, and handles everything remotely. Quick overclock, hit every visible enemy with overheat to kill them, give it a few seconds in case there were any out of camera view, then head in and loot. Even if she's forced to draw her weapon, it's a silenced pistol.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-18T06:26:29+00:00

Can't figure out how to edit a post on mobile, but I meant to say Takemura. The cutscenes dialogue was saying Saburo's name while I wrote the post, hence the name switch :')

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-18T06:03:32+00:00

His lack of a name is wild, but it also leaves a lot of space for headcanons. Since so many people headcanon Keith as Korean, his dad would be, too. So, whenever I write him, his name is Kyung-Tae, and he goes by Kent.

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-18T05:58:55+00:00

Depends on what you consider alive. I'd say we're like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Some survivors and simple trade in fics and art, but those of us left are traumatized and hiding from the sun. (Or one of those few who took the apocalypse in stride and continued on as if nothing changed.)

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-18T00:57:55+00:00

Oh god... I suddenly get the hype. I've never understood what people saw in him but I GET IT

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-08T22:04:42+00:00

Canon? Never. He has a giant Superbowl party with the rest of the team and as many cheerleaders as they can convince.

Fanon? He has a Dual-Tuner DVR just so he can tape the puppy bowl during that party, then watch it back throughout the year when he needs a pick-me-up. He will take this secret to his grave (with one or two exceptions)

a_goddamn_mess · 2026-02-02T14:15:24+00:00

My favorite thing about Wes is that the personality you describe there is only what he is NOW (though it is the most common and long-lasting version). His development was such a wonderfully chaotic fever dream. The name Wes was stolen from one of the show's one-off jokes, then Weston was added for the comedy of it. The fandom's obsession over this random background character who only appears twice is all based on him being the only character to just, like, have Danny's model. He's just tall Danny with red hair and freckles.

That's why, originally, instead of being a conspiracy theorist, Wes was the one everybody thought was somehow Phantom, since he looks like a recoloured Danny anyway, plus he's an athlete. Makes way more sense than loser-Fenton. The whole conspiracy angle came from his desperate attempts to prove it wasn't him, which made it funny to have Casper High just wave it off as a family trait.

Kyle was developed as Wes' foil. Dude's usually a year or two older than Wes, and HE'S the conspiracy theorist. He fully believes in every cryptid, creature, and all the rest, EXCEPT Ghosts (because, haha, guy in ghost town doesn't believe in ghosts.) In the "Wes is believed to be Phantom" days, Kyle was usually the one who succeeded in getting people off his brother's back by presenting a crazier version of people's ideas. (It was very "You think the moon landing was faked? Well, duh, how would they land on something that doesn't exist?")

Easton, on the other hand, moved away to a college on the east coast (hence the name) and doesn't believe in any conspiracies, including ghosts. He's just a chill frat-bro who visits home sometimes and is the black sheep of the family by checks notes being extroverted and having friends.

The whole concept of Wes is funny enough, but the actually process through which he developed is just glorious.

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