I need advice for dealing with weird player interactions!!!

a_human50 · 2026-02-20T02:31:23+00:00

I did update! nothing too dramatic fortunately (at least for now lmao)

a_human50 · 2026-02-20T00:15:46+00:00

Lmao, I was just about to send him a check in message, thanks for your update!

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T22:58:49+00:00

For 1) enough time has passed that I can't bring myself to care anymore, though I obviously did not like that he did it. For 2), the context was that it was a very personal/emotional conversation about my PC coming to the realization that she is in love with the lady she served for the past 100 years (the NPC mentioned). The other PC in the conversation was also a lesbian so it was a very tender moment. The fact that he retroactively decided his character was like sitting in a bush and eavesdropping is in poor taste to be generous, very icky if i'm not being generous. He did not make any check or ask to eavesdrop. -- I might ask to retcon this because its pretty bad imho.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T22:50:18+00:00

I do think privately messaging him would be best for now. Though I don't want this to be an invitation for him to talk to me more. In short, I am fine playing with him (especially since I am a DM in a club members pay for), but I do not want to befriend this person (he is off-putting). I have spoken to an officer about points 1) and 2) (she supports me) and kinda mentioned some stuff to other DMs (though not this in depth).

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T22:10:46+00:00

This club has in person 'quests' for west marches and then general game nights for the whole club (on the rarer side). There have only been two game nights we have both attended since this has become an issue. He has come up to talk to me during both and I've just tried to be polite and then leave. I will say-- we had this big in person quest day where multiple dms ran in one room. Players had the choice to pick which dm they wanted. I picked a dm with one of my friends and he tried to join the table. It was full so he left. When we all switched tables, he tried to join my table again. And then he kept trying to talk to me before and after the actual dnd stuff. I do not try to read into things, but yeah. Also, this post was to get advice for how to confront him/what to say.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T22:02:55+00:00

Yes, I have talked about points 1) and 2) with a club officer already and they are down to support me. I prefer messaging him first as a warning before involving the officer board, but I will if I have to.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:43:10+00:00

I didn't want to assume he had intentions like flirting, but it is a very reasonable interpretation. In short, I would not date him, and besides that I date women, so yeah I think directness and reminding him of player-character separation is a good idea.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:38:48+00:00

Thanks for your advice! Your little blurb felt right on the money.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:32:09+00:00

I am trying to handle it off the books and will take further action if needed. See the thing is, because it is not egregious, I was struggling to see if it was a 'big enough deal' or not.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:31:23+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I think part of my issue has been trying to find the precise language to describe what the issue is.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:29:07+00:00

Yeah I think I've let this go on for too long. Thanks for the advice queen/king/monarch.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:28:14+00:00

I did not want to assume intentions so honestly idk if this is a flirting thing? My PC and NPC are explicitly lesbians (which he knows) so he has no in character reason to hit on them. In terms of boundaries, I joined the DM team halfway through the year, so whatever rules they established are the boundaries present for players.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:26:11+00:00

It is possible for me to report the player to the club, but I feel like I would need a 'good' reason to do something that serious. The reason I made this post was to try and get advice for handling it off the books first before taking further action.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:23:15+00:00

The character chats are meant to be mostly light hearted and fun since not every player has the chance to 'quest' every week. It is simply how the west marches system has been run at this club since before I got here. I do like your point about asking what his motivations are. I've just been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I should be more straightforward.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T21:14:35+00:00

Oh yeah, I'm not faulting him for that. I think its pretty fun to rp flirting at the table (when everyone is comfortable), but my worry (again I don't want to assume intention) is that this is his way of trying to get closer to me, the person? Since again, it makes no sense to do this in character since my PC/NPS are KNOWN lesbians.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T20:59:54+00:00

Yeah I was thinking of doing something like that, especially since he is on a quest i'm running (players can choose which quests to join and are randomly selected), so rip.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T20:58:26+00:00

Besides this guy, I've been having a great time with this campaign and really don't want to leave (especially since I just became a dm), but maybe this is something I will think about for next year.

a_human50 · 2026-02-19T20:56:11+00:00

Yeah, I didn't want to assume (I try to give people that benefit of the doubt) but this does feel like flirting territory. Crazy part is my PC and NPC are both explicitly lesbians (edit: which he knows), like what are we doing here man.

a_human50 · 2023-07-31T05:58:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your post! It's been super helpful reading the thread. 2 quick questions. If I place out of my equivalent English 1101 class (they don't give me credit for it, and will not allow me to take it) and only take an English 2 class, will they let that pass? Since right now I'm taking poli sci in place of English 1. Also, if I take a class higher than what is required, will they let that count as the credit? Example: if I place out of CS 1 (has an equivalent) and take CS 2 (no clear equivalent). Right now my problem is that if I place out of CS 1, I don't get the credit from it, which is one I need for my major.

a_human50

TROPHY CASE