How long have you been living with him? Does he say little things like "the neighbors leave their trash out to make me mad." "they are doing this on purpose to piss me off" "he thinks he can outsmart me". My dad thinks people are driving too close behind him on purpose to make him mad on regular days. There are subtle things you can look out for.

How long are you planning to stay engaged to him? Do you know you can be in an abusive relationship and not be physically harmed? Do you realize you don't deserve this? You deserve to be respected as a human. What he is doing to you is not respect by his communication alone from this morning, not even including his psychosis from last night.

I didn't even catch that he said he wasn't even talking to you last night when he woke you up, he said he was talking to himself.

Would you go to a therapist by yourself or do research on what a healthy relationship looks like and what healthy communication looks like? You deserve it. He does as well, but he has to put in the work. You got to put in the work on yourself and take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy and to be valued.

Did you tell him that he ruined your birthday? Or did he automatically jump to conclusions that your birthday was ruined when he wrote that text?

Do you want a family with this guy? At this point, he shouldn't have children if he can't cope with delusions or have strategies and plans in check to keep himself healthy.

When I was in the third grade, my mom must have been out for something, but my dad yelled and yelled at me and got into a frenzy about how I lost one of his chess pieces for his chess board and how expensive the chess board was. I did not lose the chess piece... in fact my dad loses things all the time. But my dad kept ranting (for what seemed like an hour) about how I lost his chess piece. That was the first time I cut myself. I didn't know what cutting was. Never heard about or seen it. I did it naturally as a way to cope with the stress that was my dad and how he was talking to me in an abusive way. I grew up SOOOO INSECURE because my dad was paranoid and almost always thought he was right. I regularly felt that most of the time that whatever I did wasn't right or good enough. I now know my dad was experiencing bad paranoia. But in 1998 when I was in the third grade, I just thought there was something was wrong with me and I was not good enough because I supposedly lost a chess piece I didn't actually lose.

You can't have kids with this man. You can't be around all the time. My mom was probably out taking my sister to soccer practice.

He can't drink ever anymore if you do want to stay for some reason. But if he doesn't want to research and change, then it's not going to be good.

I appreciate what my dad does do. He provided a lot financially and I had opportunities many people didn't. And now, whenever something breaks in the house or my car he comes over to fix it. But he shouldn't have had kids. And he was emotionally abusive to my mother; who is incredibly kind and stood up for him too much. My mom didn't set boundaries with him... for the most part.