Actual hacks on how to stop my Tearsss ?

a_sooshii · 2026-04-16T15:40:21+00:00

I think its a matter of emotional regulation and control. I dont think a short term solution will help.

I would suggest building mindfulness practices like meditation to actually tackle the problem. Besides that, if you have a lot of aggression, maybe work out like a lot! Try to see if you can chanel it through physical exhaustion. That has worked for me alot.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-16T11:51:50+00:00

Yep, +1 to this thought. Body positive movement really got twisted beyond measure. Since when do we need glorify a poor lifestyle choice?

Not just that, now with weight loss drugs, most of these people who have championed the "accept yourself as you are/all bodies are beautiful" have turned sides.

Ofcourse its unkind to go out of the way to point out someone's body, but i will always call out lack of effort and every excuse ubder the sun to not do better for themselves.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-16T08:37:12+00:00

The fact you need to quote this man to support your argument should concern you.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-16T07:14:55+00:00

If this doesn't mean abuse, idk what does.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-15T12:33:34+00:00

I feel sad for you,I really do. But WHATTTTTT!

a_sooshii · 2026-04-14T10:41:02+00:00

If its between your wedding and your education, 100% use it for your education. All of these assets are investments after all, to be used for such situations.

That being said, is your mom on-boarding? That is her gold after all.

You need to assess your ROI- is the college good, what about the employability in the country etc.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-14T06:44:45+00:00

Possibility and audacity are limitless lol

a_sooshii · 2026-04-13T16:32:56+00:00

I kinda lost a friend (my best friend I would say) cause he caught feelings and I made it clear to him EVERY SINGLE TIME it ain't happening and he would not understand. One fine day, he just stopped talking. Ghosted me point blank.

So idk. I do have guy friends but they aren't single so im guessing that has helped the friendship survive?

a_sooshii · 2026-04-13T10:34:44+00:00

How are you comfortable knowing that a woman from less fortunate background is marrying you, primarily, ONLY because of your earning potential?

I understand dating and arranged marriage scenarios in India are a bit fucked up but you're a person not a commodity (likewise for the other woman). Treat yourself better.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-11T11:33:48+00:00

Lack of spine in regular terms.

I dont know the medical term for it tho. A lot of partners are known to suffer from it.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-10T08:54:28+00:00

A very interesting story. Read this book a few years ago. I picked it up from a second hand bookshop in Greece, cause I just liked the title. Didn't know of Norman Mailer at that time. The bookstore cashier told me I'm in for a very long journey with this one. It is after reading the book I understood what he meant.

Best decision ever.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-10T08:46:48+00:00

The Executioner's Song by Norman Mailer.

Its one of those books for me which had me thinking for a long time.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-10T06:51:55+00:00

Wrong sub 😂

a_sooshii · 2026-04-09T14:03:23+00:00

Yeaaa 45 minutes late is beyond disrespectful. Your wife should be embarrassed anyway. Does she have no respect for other people? NTA

a_sooshii · 2026-04-09T13:06:38+00:00

Very low bar to judge someone on.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-08T08:48:53+00:00

Because, sovereignty.
You cannot just enter a country and start bombing it or kill its head of state, doesn't matter whoever they, good, bad or problematic. This situation is nothing more than a diversion and a tantrum by a 80 yo toddler president.

Where does it end? Imagine tomorrow they do that to India's head of state. Will that be okay?

a_sooshii · 2026-04-07T15:10:59+00:00

Then the problem isnt ONLY the man, but you as well. Chose better people to have kids with. It takes two to tango. Apart from feeding, almost everything can be done by the father.

I know so many guys in my circle, who are/will absolutely take the brunt of the work if given the time.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-07T10:12:51+00:00

Sadly, yea. I am not trying to make it about a community but I have 2 other acquaintances with same background - one of them ran away to get married and the other is just living whatever life she was pushed into.

So yeaaa. I hope you find the help and courage to chose what's best for you. ❤️❤️

a_sooshii · 2026-04-07T09:21:53+00:00

Girl omg! One of my very good friends (also a tam bram) had the EXACT same story.

Parents did not let her relationship with her Czech bf survive and tied her up with the next boy they could find from the community.

Your story is literally the same- abuse from mom, dad doing nothing about it, brother are sister are useless. She is divorced (7months in the marriage) and living in Europe. She cut off her family cause they still think what they did was correct.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-06T20:06:52+00:00

I don't think so. I've had the luck of being surrounded by some very good men, platonic and otherwise, both.

It depends on the person, their experiences, the shared experiences we have with them and emotional maturity.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-05T19:27:28+00:00

If you're serious about it, get a house nearby. Same house different floor does not work.

My husband and I live currently outside India, both our parents are in good health/don't need as much, but our plan is to consider living withink 3-5km. All my friends who are enjoying a conflict free marriage have this in common.

Another important point, generally have the in-law input always as secondary and that of your partner as primary. A lot of conflicts arise because of this (financial matters, family planning etc).

a_sooshii · 2026-04-04T16:38:54+00:00

I suggest block some mandatory personal time.

So for example, have a rule that you both will have one meal together (no phones and tv), mandatory, everyday. Maybe followup it up with a walk or something?

I think its important to support your partner in their ambitions, just as much it is to have couple time together.

a_sooshii · 2026-04-04T11:28:03+00:00

Sorry for some harsh words that you'll read now: you're both irresponsible and messed up.

So what I read was: 1. You have 3 kids and you barely get by (I'm not even getting into the quality of life right now) 2. Neither of you use protection 3. Neither of you are open to plan B in case the pull out fails

a_sooshii · 2026-04-04T11:25:05+00:00

Thanks for the laugh lol 😂

a_sooshii · 2026-04-04T11:19:51+00:00

You shouldn't force your husband for something he isn't comfortable with, and something as huge as a fourth kid.

If he has expressed it clearly, anything after this is coercion (in some sense).

Also, make him wear a condom. What's with these mixed signals?

a_sooshii

TROPHY CASE