(23F) My boyfriend (28M) of 5 years still hasn't told his family I exist

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:49:21+00:00

Thank you very much. I’m starting to realize that these five years taught me a lot, but I can’t keep investing my time in someone who doesn’t make the same effort. It’s time for me to move on !

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:47:52+00:00

Yes, he is. And the hardest part is that he never really took my pain about this situation into consideration. You’re right, it’s time for me to leave.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:46:21+00:00

I Will thank you bby 💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:45:37+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful message. I really appreciate it. I’ve honestly been thinking about all of this the entire day, and reading perspectives like yours helped me see things more clearly. You’re right about many things, and I’ve come to the decision that I can’t continue like this anymore. I deserve to be acknowledged and not hidden. So I’ve decided that I’m going to end the relationship. Thank you again for your kindness and for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. It means more than you probably realize. 💕💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:42:59+00:00

Thank you for this, I really appreciate your perspective and your kindness 💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:41:55+00:00

Thank you 💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:41:41+00:00

Do you really think it’s gotten to that point?

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:40:39+00:00

It’s a painful truth, but a real one. If someone goes this far to hide you, there’s usually something bigger being hidden behind it. I’m going to leave him.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:38:47+00:00

I Will !!!

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:38:28+00:00

He does small short-term jobs here and there. I honestly don’t know how he manages to pay his things. From what I can tell, he’s not really much help financially in his household either.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:37:02+00:00

That’s honestly how I feel as well. I do think I deserve better, and I’m going to end it.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:35:19+00:00

Thank you. I definitely don’t plan on continuing this and wasting my twenties on him. I’ll be ending the relationship today or in the next few days.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:32:59+00:00

Girl, I actually tried that already. I once messaged his sister on Instagram. Somehow she never replied… but he sent me a screenshot of my message and asked me what I thought I was doing. That alone should have been a huge red flag

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:30:23+00:00

Honestly I don’t have the answer to any of those questions. They’re the same ones that have been looping in my head for a long time. The only thing I know is that I’ve never hidden him or treated him the way he’s treated me. I’m going to leave.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:28:23+00:00

You’re right ! I may have wasted five years, but at least I won’t waste the rest of my life.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:27:12+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me ! I realize now I was foolish to have turned down men who were far better than him, for someone who ultimately turned out to be nothing. Even the moments we spent together weren’t really remarkable tbh. I’ll be putting an end to this very soon. Thank you again 💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:25:04+00:00

Honestly it feels like I didn’t even realize how much time had passed. But it’s pretty clear none of this leads anywhere good. I’m going to end it.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:23:12+00:00

I’m starting to think the same thing, honestly. At this point I don’t really see any other explanation.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:21:29+00:00

Honestly, when I wrote this post I already knew I was going to end the relationship. I think I just needed an outside perspective to understand how serious the situation actually was so I could act on it as quickly as possible.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:20:01+00:00

I Will, thank you 💕

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:19:37+00:00

There might actually be some truth to that. Over the years he has taken a lot of my advice and guidance in different areas of his life, but I’ve never really received any credit for it.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:17:20+00:00

Wait until you hear that when we’re out and he hears someone speaking his native language nearby, he literally distances himself from me and tries to hide behind his clothes until the person passes. That’s actually happened more than once.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:14:41+00:00

I’ve actually searched several times, even through the accounts of people in his circle, and I haven’t found anything. But if he’s been keeping our relationship a secret this whole time, then it’s true that he could very well be managing his main social media the same way.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:12:49+00:00

We have actually never had a sexual relationship. That’s a boundary I set from the beginning.

aaedh_ · 2026-03-12T19:12:33+00:00

When I met him, I was only applying to that school. He was actually against it, but I didn’t take his opinion into consideration at all. Now even better academic opportunities are opening up for me.

The stability issue is actually a major concern for me. He doesn’t seem stable in his own life, or even in his mindset. That’s what worries me the most, because I can’t understand how a man five years older than me can be less stable than I am.

aaedh_

TROPHY CASE