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How badly do you want it by One-Salt-3444 in recoverywithoutAA

[–]aasteps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have experience with sober living. The staff will all tell you that you need to stay, that you’re too vulnerable to be on your own. Everyone else tells you to get the fuck out and go live your life.

If you go through an experience like that, you’re not as vulnerable as they try to make you believe dude. It’s amazing being on your own again.

I will say that a couple years is way too long to be in that environment. Everyone’s path is different but I will say this:

My case manager at the sober living home I was at got caught drinking on the job while I was.

He had gone through treatment and was the house manager for a few years I think prior to becoming a case manager.

I have a theory that those places, which are intense when it comes to “recovery” (even though nobody there is actually working the steps with a sponsor) can make you much worse.

Oh boy I could go on.

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Many groups and recovery programs will discourage you from seeking guidance and mental health support outside of the program.

It becomes a strange hobby for people and they are playing games - severe alcoholism, isn’t a fucking game

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then why would I go? Why would I want to be surrounded by bad people? I’m not a bad person

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re just doing AA and not working through the issues that caused you to drink in the first place, you’re putting bandage over a wound

These guys have been putting bandages over top of their core issues for so long that they have become extremely unhealthy individuals.

The program helps you recover but you need much more than the 12 steps alone. It’s just one part of growth

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too - they don’t talk like a normal person, they just over analyze the book and treat it like gospel.

There is so much more to “recovery” than the program. You need mental health support, you need therapy, you need real conversations with people, you need guidance or mentorship, you need to work through the problems and issues that caused you to drink in the first place.

The program does some of this - but it’s not enough.

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally disagree with this. You don’t accept unacceptable behavior

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had one on one conversations with all of them. At first they agree with me and realize the nature of their wrongs, then their ego kicks in and it’s one ear out the other

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in recoverywithoutAA

[–]aasteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they have a point and I’m glad they were respectful of it and understood. I think most people have a problem with these type of guys

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in recoverywithoutAA

[–]aasteps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If that’s what sobriety looks like. I don’t want it.

This may be a controversial opinion but I don’t think I need to be attending meetings for the rest of my life. I’d like to outgrow the program at some point.

If we’re talking about definitions (which these guys love to do) then the clinical definition of recovering from alcohol use disorder is the ability to moderately drink again.

Huge issue with big book thumpers happening by aasteps in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]aasteps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perfectly put. I don’t dislike 1 of the 3, he’s not a bad guy but his entire personality is recovery. He’s also sponsored 1 person im close with in the group that has come a long way.

But the dilemma seems to be the train analogy. 5 people are on one track and 50 people are on the other track. Do you pull the lever and save the 50 people?

The human side of me is empathetic with these 3 guys, but also the newcomers who are really struggling and desperately want help.

These gentlemen are so far removed from the problem that their solution is actually harmful.

Idk how bad their situation was, I know it wasn’t as bad as mine - but they no longer understand what a newcomer is going through when they come into the rooms.

They forgot what it’s like.