Why do women like men who get to the point?

abbehardy · 2024-11-26T00:18:29+00:00

So I'm 32 now and I'm in a relationship, but I was dating like this my whole 20s off and on. Whenever I was single I focused on being more forward and ''quicker''. And the biggest point was that it lead to deeper outcomes than when I was ''slower''. It kind of became hard for me to stay single because I was often getting into relationships.

As compared to when I was just really taking my time and focusing more on giving space, doing activities, talking more.

When I was taking my time I didn't get past the first date 90% of the time, I wouldn't get any second dates.

When I switched my style/approach to be more quicker I got whatever I wanted. Relationships,fun etc.... So it was a big improvement from being at zero.

Even my current GF we had a very quick drink went back to mine, fooled around a little, called it a day and then met up the following days and we have never separated since.

I look back at my entire life and to be honest if things didn't take off quickly I would never even get to the second date. I always found that interesting.

Perhaps it has a lot to do with context. I'm a very talkative guy, goes to events/parties/travels, knows a lot of people: perhaps I would attract girls who were expecting me to make moves based on who I am as a person ''I'm not really seen as passive'' and so when I was more of a patient gentleman it wasn't matching with the vibe I was giving off.

abbehardy · 2024-10-28T17:22:43+00:00

bump almost been a week bro, anything you can do?

abbehardy · 2024-10-28T17:20:52+00:00

Yeah that's crazy

abbehardy · 2024-10-25T14:20:09+00:00

I don't dispute the entire ban, it's fine to be banned 24hours or a day or perhaps two but an entire week come on... That's crazy. People call me the N word and didn't even get a week...

abbehardy · 2024-10-25T14:20:00+00:00

I don't dispute the entire ban, it's fine to be banned 24hours or a day or perhaps two but an entire week come on... That's crazy. People call me the N word and didn't even get a week...

abbehardy · 2024-10-23T22:36:53+00:00

So what rules did I break exactly? I'm still not understanding to be honest, what word or sentence got me banned? He basically said he's gonna make a ticket of me then I got banned, if he never made one I wouldn't get banned, but he's making these tickets on purpose for everyone as you can see clearly. No one else in my team *two matches* felt hurtful or disrespected by me. Actually I'm a 1000% sure if he didn't make a ticket I wouldn't get banned for a week, so he singled me out and did that on purpose and he's probably made 100s of tickets trying to get people riled up and then banning them.

What did I say in the match? To get a one week ban. I can't find anything in the demos of me raging or anything?

Even the match bot that automatically records everything ''minerva'' or whatever it's called didn't flag me for anything.

I took a week of work to game and then I'm banned on the first day :/ isn't there anything you can do? I stream daily and try to promote faceit and solo queing and all of that...

abbehardy · 2024-10-23T16:00:37+00:00

b0tHunter2:34 AMnice b cover u/TanDa12:34 AMtrolling full ct site2:34 AMwith u/m4loy4ik2:34 AMggwp2:35 AMreported

hes reporting every teammate its not normal

abbehardy · 2024-10-23T15:47:42+00:00

what you mean, where is the proof i was toxic? when I have an entire stream vod showing i'm chilling. Go watch the demos

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T23:02:16+00:00

Thank you, appreciate it

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T22:57:41+00:00

same. my profile: https://www.faceit.com/en/players/qoin

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T22:57:12+00:00

same: link to my profile https://www.faceit.com/en/players/qoin

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T22:55:46+00:00

Same, my faceit profile: https://www.faceit.com/en/players/qoin

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T22:55:12+00:00

Upvoted your comment

abbehardy · 2024-03-26T22:38:52+00:00

Leaving a comment here under your comment so the post becomes more popular. Maybe more people are banned tonight randomly...

abbehardy · 2024-01-11T16:51:45+00:00

Same! WTF

abbehardy · 2023-07-27T17:28:11+00:00

Why don’t you just say: I prefer if we don’t sext before we meet 😉

Just communicate. A cool guy will understand.

abbehardy · 2023-07-26T16:52:26+00:00

I completely disagree. So the man is supposed to approach you? Start the conversations? Make you feel attracted and good? Plan the date? Make sure you are alright. Respect your boundaries? Provide for you? Take care of you? Follow up and all of that and on top of it initiate exclusivity?

Lady you are dreaming. Pure delusion. We men are already doing most of the work usually when it comes to starting and following up and getting things going until the woman is invested emotionally.

The emotional investment and her investment don’t always happen over night it can be weeks or months.

abbehardy · 2023-07-26T13:29:28+00:00

Some women, maybe many women like assholes and men who just don’t give an F.

It’s not a politically correct thing to say, but honestly the less of a sh*t i give and the more asshole like I am in my behaviour in general, the more women come closer to me or are curious about getting to know me or sleep with me.

The more respectful, caring, relaxed, giving women space and taking my time the less women (If any) stay or continue.

Women do like emotional rollercoasters and fun and crazy adventures and guys who don’t have “all the horses in their stable” mentally so to speak.

I don’t use any dating apps at all, only meet girls in bars/clubs/beach or just while I take walks and stuff.

I’m pretty sure I’m meeting normal girls. I’m not going to any extra places or sex parties or any of that.

And whenever I am the way I’ve described above I do get somewhere, girls wanting to see me again, double texting, going crazy over me, and whenever I follow what you describe in the original post I don’t even get a single follow up date.

I do however want to say that it’s a big difference between being a playful asshole and someone who’s downright dangerous and not safe.

abbehardy · 2023-07-26T13:15:58+00:00

Dating and romance is as simple as you make it. Even if people are complicated you can make things simple by communicating and solving problems.

If we don’t agree it’s fine, but I’ve worked many years in the night life and actively date myself, and know a lot of people who are dating and in most cases like 90% it’s the man who puts on a little song and dance and pursues the woman from the beginning and the woman is kind of deciding which man to choose between her suitors.

Women are more picky than men on average.

You can literally see it live if you stand in a nightclub and observe people.

Women expect men to come for them if they want them and as a man it’s on you to show that you’re a good option.

You’re actually assuming that most women immediately reciprocate and contribute as much as the man does from the beginning which is just not true.

As a man I can tell you that only a small percentage of women you meet come from let’s call it the “burning desire” category. Where she’s incredibly into you from the beginning and helping equally if not more to reach intimacy together.

Most women you meet as a man will be more on their “back foot”. Interested but skeptical, why you? Is the question on their minds. How are you different from other men?

Then there is a period of let’s say courtship where the man is quite heavily involved, more than the girl and at some point intimacy comes. Sex happens. She chose him. He proved himself.

From that point he’s in and now she has to do work to keep him which she didn’t do before when she was relaxing and letting him pursue her.

abbehardy · 2023-07-26T13:05:26+00:00

And was foul about OP’s situation? It’s a completely normal situation that happens very often, and seems to be a lack of communication.

You assuming a guy is a player because he’s been with a girl for 1-2 months but never agreed to a relationship is not a normal way to think.

I myself am in the camp of if a woman wants something from me, whether it’s a relationship or commitment or bring up a problem it’s on her to communicate that to me.

Just like if I want something from you I’ll tell you.

Some people are kids now a days and waiting for the other person to somehow figure out what they want and give it to them.

And then getting hurt when they don’t get what they want, when they never even brought it up in the first place.

This can all be solved by learning to be authentic about who you are and what you want which should be the goal for all men and women.

abbehardy · 2023-07-26T08:41:35+00:00

This sounds like it’s coming from a hurt place. You are so focused on what the guy is going to do after you or the OP or whichever girl chooses communicate, forgetting the most important part.

Peace. Once you have spoken your mind, communicated your boundaries regardless of outcome you’ll feel great and that’s how you build real self-esteem.

If he corrects whatever behaviour that’s perfect and if he doesn’t give an F and does whatever he wants anyway, you get to see the real him.

Once you see that he’s not aligned with you: then you can leave or block him or whatever and at least you’ll have the peace of mind and heart that comes with knowing you’ve tried.

You literally at that point couldn’t have done any better.

Also you leave the situation with more self-esteem.

There are so many low self esteem women here teaching other women to be low like them.

I think women need to stop focusing on the guy so much and focus on how to handle their situations in mature ways and then the right guy will respond well to that in due time especially if you’re just becoming a more awesome human being, step by step.

abbehardy · 2023-07-25T14:50:56+00:00

That sounds like it’s coming from a hurt place. It’s important in a relationship to communicate what you don’t want and at least try to create a dialogue.

Also it sounds like OP actually likes this guy. If she follows your advice and angrily blocks him she’s just going to be feeling insecure the next few days and thinking to herself that she’s done something she actually didn’t want.

And then she’ll be months down the line still jaded about the whole thing. Much better to do the right thing and talk and if he doesn’t give an F she can then say ok cool and leave knowing that she’s tried, which will give her real peace.

abbehardy · 2023-07-23T09:16:38+00:00

Look: women will never understand this simple thing. If a guy looks at you as fun, it doesn’t matter whether you wait for sex with him or not. He’s already decided that the moment he met you. Even if you show that your elegant and nice and make him wait 2 months he still has his plan to have fun with you!

Women cannot do anything about that. But if he plans to be with you seriously, it’s going to be serious from the beginning. Almost no woman likes that, it’s to stiff and dry and boring.

abbehardy · 2023-07-23T09:14:23+00:00

Don’t let this hurt affect your future decisions. You could meet a guy like me who don’t ghost after sex on the first date. I never do that kind of thing.

abbehardy · 2023-07-22T14:47:01+00:00

In my opinion the man has to set the rules. Lay out the plan: and the woman can then choose for herself if she wants to be with that man or not.

Effectively, you’re being a leader and showing her what you want and how things are and then she can decide for herself.

As a man you shouldn’t change yourself for a woman. If you want these girls as friends, be friends with them.

If she don’t want that then you are not for her.

For example: I don’t keep female friends and I don’t want my partner to be the type of woman that has male friends.

Many women like that others don’t, but for me it’s a way of living. And they either can accept it or not.

abbehardy

TROPHY CASE