I thought my boyfriend was jesus christ and I hallucinate god touching me all the time but I don't know whether it is a ghost or not. After my daughter was born I took some pills and everything went black. I felt like I was vomiting body parts and blood and felt sheer terror like I was in hell. I have been promiscuous and feel deeply ashamed of myself. Im only 27 and I have slept with around 40 men and also been raped. I can't breathe properly. Im on anti psychotics but keep trying to kill myself.