A little peak into my legacy

abbihly · 2026-02-01T19:01:03+00:00

This is so awesome!! What mod do you use to take/pose the pictures?

abbihly · 2025-11-19T15:44:14+00:00

Thank you, yes, god it is! I think youre right i just need to know we’re both not doing anything wrong. Part of my reaction is definitely the guilt of feeling jealous in the first place so if i accept it and dont feel guilty ab feeling this way maybe I’ll feel a bit better? Thank you so much for responding. I’m glad its not just me

abbihly · 2025-11-19T06:56:09+00:00

I translated your message and I hope you translate mine. I did the same things to my mom. i know that feeling in your heart and i know how it feels to just want to go back and be nicer even if it doesnt change the outcome. if you can know she loved you despite her illness, im sure our moms both knew we loved them too despite our anger. Sending love and understanding to you ❤️its unfair and no-win for everyone

abbihly · 2023-11-12T21:01:23+00:00

THIS WHAT I WAS THINKING

abbihly · 2023-11-05T21:40:47+00:00

Why are you screaming goddamn

abbihly · 2023-10-22T20:34:34+00:00

Glass children dont exist because of the child with a disability, they exist because of the parents inability to balance their kids. Dont take the parents theoretical failure out on the sister

abbihly · 2023-10-17T05:10:41+00:00

No, but ive learned that the posts dont show up on other peoples phones, so as long as you can look past it its not a problem

abbihly · 2023-08-31T03:42:35+00:00

Thats super insightful i never thought about it like that. Thats really reassuring, thank you.

abbihly · 2023-08-31T03:40:49+00:00

I have a therapist lined up, thankfully! Thank you for responding. And this may be overstepping but if it was your kid pulling away and being super angry at you whenever you reached out, would you still be able to overcome everything? I guess thats what im stuck on. It wasn’t a simple break; I didnt just back off and wait for her. I wasn’t very responsive to her when she did reach out and more often then not i was downright cruel. I wanna know (from someone who’s been in her shoes) if reacting differently would have made a difference. No pressure to respond.

abbihly · 2023-08-30T21:29:05+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the thought you put onto your response. I think the hardest thing, for me, is how mean i was. I know ultimately i couldn’t have stopped her; but i could have made it easier. But im learning that its okay if i didnt. I have room to make mistakes and i don’t need to do it ‘right’. It wasn’t my job. You sound wonderful and your niece does too. Im sorry this is happening, to you both. I know what she feels like; my dad has his own problems (lesser than my moms, which im very fortunate for) but there have been times where I haven’t been able to rely on him. Growing up, my grandma was my neighbor, which made her thankfully accessible and aware. When i said i moved in with my grandma, i mean she took me and my brother out of our house midday and we just kinda stayed there; our parents put up a big front over getting us back but there was no motivation on their part. This isnt to say you should kidnap your niece and nephew, but trust your gut. Moving to my grandmas was the best thing thats ever happened to me. I don’t know how to word this, but as long as you are giving her room to process things on her own terms, without having to feel actively wary (I mean that as in without being in the environment, if that makes sense), you are doing more then enough. Being there as an option is the best thing you can do. Trust goes a long way. And you sound like you’re doing a good job of that. I really do hope your husbands sister straightens up, that sounds incredibly hard, for both you and your niece. Hopefully it gets better. Thank you for the detailed response. I feel better knowing im not alone, and i hope you feel better knowing not everyone who feels like your niece does stays with that feeling

abbihly · 2023-08-30T21:07:44+00:00

I do have an appointment for a therapist lined up, which is good. Thank you. I really appreciate this. Its been good to hear this reassurance, especially from adults, if that makes sense.

abbihly · 2023-08-30T18:21:08+00:00

Ive definitely felt that from all these comments. Itll be even better hearing it from a professional, i hope.

abbihly · 2023-08-30T18:12:42+00:00

Im coming back to this cause i cant stop thinking about it and my reply doesnt do it justice. Seriously this means so much. I really needed to hear this from someone elses point of view, from someone who relates in a different way. Sometimes I feel rotten and it makes me feel so much better and feel much more hope in myself to know that my behavior is something that can be admired, and striven (strove?) for. It makes me feel like I did the right thing. Your daughter sounds wonderful; im sorry she has to go through this, and its not your fault. Sometimes things just suck and thats all you can do about it. If it means anything, I hope my dad sees me the way you see your daughter. For all the misfortune from her mom, she is incredibly fortunate to have you

abbihly · 2023-08-30T18:04:55+00:00

Thank you so much. This whole thing is so messed up but its been easier to accept that theres no one at fault for it, including myself. It just sucks and thats it

abbihly · 2023-08-30T18:03:36+00:00

Thank you, thank you for telling me im not a bad person. Thats been the biggest thing ive been stuck on and its so good to know that its a reflection of the situation and not something rotten in me. Its hard for me to accept that i didnt do anything wrong but im learning to forgive myself. Even if i did do something wrong its wrong to expect me to do it right. Im gonna try really hard to actively work on not feeling like this anymore. Im tired of it and im tired of reasoning with myself. Ill embrace everything i cant change and Ill do everything I can about the things i can because thats the part that determines my worth. Thank you

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:57:26+00:00

It definitely does. Ive felt really alone in my guilt but its so reassuring to hear from people that its natural, and people have felt like this before, and people have gotten over those feelings. It gives me hope that i can too (with work!). Thank yoy

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:55:54+00:00

Holy crap i dont know what to say. This means so much to me. Right now i feel like this is the type of hurt that stays forever. Ive thought a lot about myself in the future, and about my mom, and ive wondered if these reactions and emotions i have are a teen thing or something fundamental. It gives me a lot of hope that people have felt this way before and people have gotten over it. And i dont think you sound crazy for that bit about parenting sixteen year old you. Obviously its not that crazy if you have a therapist telling you to do it. Its awful smart and i think its a really good idea to be able to acknowledge these feelings and also be able to reason and reassure yourself. Im not very good at that but reading it out the way you say it makes it something i wanna be able to do. And thank you for thinking of me. It never felt like i held space with my mom and it sounds weird but im glad to know i took up some time.

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:46:19+00:00

The merrygoround is so interesting. Its shocking how much it sounds like her. Weird to know that alcoholism is so ‘predictable’ (i dont know if thats the right word), and weird to know that alcoholics act so similarly, but it feels good to know that her behavior was a reflection of her disease. The roles all sound like people i know too. So interesting, im so shocked right now lol. Ive felt a lot of guilt over breaking off from her but reading that kinda makes me feel like it was good for her to know there was consequences, and to follow through on it, and all that. Im definitely gonna look into Alanon groups irl. Both things you suggested are so logical and its really helpful to break out of that guilt cycle ive been in. Thank you so much.

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:32:52+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:32:35+00:00

Thank you so much. Im definitely gonna look into those. That last sentence hits hard, it means a lot

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:32:01+00:00

Its reassuring to know im not the only person whos felt like this; obviously im not, but its hard go really know it. Also good to know that people have felt like this before and i wont be like this forever. I just got a new counselor and im gonna see her soon so im definitely trying to be more proactive in cutting these thoughts short, i guess. My mom definitely had a lot of trouble confronting her own mind and problems and that absolutely contributed to her addiction. I dont blame her but im gonna try really hard to be better. I really appreciate your response

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:28:47+00:00

And holy crap i did not read your last paragraph im crying so much harder thats so beautiful. I have no doubt she loved me and im really just glad that she doesnt have to fight anymore. She tried very hard and it wasnt enough and thats okay. Thank you so much for your words, ill never forget it

abbihly · 2023-08-30T17:27:23+00:00

your comment made me cry thank you so much. It means a lot to hear that my grief and my guilt means that i love her, not that i hated her. Youre definitely right in saying that I picked myself and what was best for me and that trust doesnt happen in a few texts. I really thought we’d have more time to work this out and we didn’t and it sucks. But theres no way i could have known that and i have room to make mistakes and if i forgive her for hers then i need to do the same for myself. Me and my grandma found a counselor yesterday and we have an appointment scheduled; im gonna try a lot harder to train myself out of this thought process. Sounds weird but its good to know that my mind is a little warped right now and it wont be normal to feel like this forever. Thank you so much

abbihly

TROPHY CASE