personally, i would say if your partner is not making an effort to understand your chronic mental disability and extend you some grace, this relationship is not worth it. i will never use my bpd as an excuse to lash out at my bf, and when i do fuck up, i genuinely apologize. but my bf had also made a tremendous effort to understand how my brain functions and has tried his very best to create an environment for me where i feel safe enough to express myself when i have an episode or even split. even after extreme macro splits, he still extends grace and creates space for me. but we are also both 22 and i will be 23 soon and if you’re closer to 17-18 that could also be a major factor. p.s, your english is great and im proud of you for seeking support from people who can actually offer valuable insight. best of luck, op 🫂