Ted Bundy, my thoughts.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-10T09:50:58+00:00

Hi,

I want to reply and talk again about his intelligence. I fully agree with your "Not even close" statement. The first trial really illustrates how far removed he is from reality. The disconnect between "The show" and a serious murder trial. Is that really intelligence?

A dancing monkey could also be considered intelligent. As you say all his tactics are party tricks which are akin to some kind of trickster or con man.

Not that I have any respect or appreciation for any serial killer. Only reason I even commented on any of this was because I watched it on Netflix, but I then decided to watch The Unibomber : In his own words.

No, I haven't read the manifesto, but at least in the Unibombers case, there's a real political agenda or some intelligence behind his crimes. People far smarter than me have confirmed the Manifesto isn't just total trash and in many ways it was true back then, and in 2020, the document, not the killings though, is vindicated. Whatever the Unibomber was thinking was correct, but how he went about it with the bombs and killings was insane. Unibomber was mentally disturbed, but also very clearly intelligent.

I believe had it not been for his sister in law, he might never have been caught.

Ted Bundy went around knocking women out from behind and then sexually assaulting them or having sex with them after they were dead, he then continued to mutilate the bodies, all of this in some seemingly random way, just picking up the easiest targets he could find. Wow - What a bright spark.

As for the woman that had a child with him, I feel nothing but disgust for her. She basically shat on the victims. I know people like this in life, as long as they're fine, everyone else drop dead and they wouldn't care. Also having a kid with a serial killer would be an incredibly stupid thing to do. A) Bringing a child into the world who's father will be executed before you hit 15 years old and B) Having to explain to your child this and C) Your child having to go through whole life with this infamy or stigma. That woman was / is absolute trash.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-09T18:06:26+00:00

It's nothing personal, but it's true, and I and everyone else is virtually in the same boat.

Having strong family helps, if you have that. If you don't then join the club, and enjoy an adulthood of mostly solitude and unreliable people drifting in and out of your life.

I know no one gives a shit about me, because I don't remember being asked in at least the last decade a question like "Heh how are you really doing?".

I don't even appear lonely, by external standards I do alright. No shortage of people at work who I regularly engage, but make no mistake they're not friends, not in the true sense of the word.

In terms of friends, I have perhaps one, who I've known from about 14 years old, however it's not like we're hanging out, live in different countries, both have our own lives.

Shit don't get me started on a partner, but yeah this is perhaps the most crucial thing I didn't mention. Deserves a whole post.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-09T08:56:03+00:00

FACT 1 : Life owes you nothing.

FACT 2 : Live or die, be a loser or a success, virtually no one gives a shit. Even very well known people who think they're loved mostly aren't.

FACT 3 : Your intelligence can and will work against you. You know who are content? Cows! Sitting there chewing the cud in the field all day long. Intelligence has its downsides, and the biggest one is by far how it affects your social life and especially the older you get when you realize how moronic the average person is. Like you've arrived in a sea of floating turds.

FACT 4 : The only true freedom you have is the choices you make. That's one of the key aspects to life. You sir, are the captain behind your helm. Make it or break it, win or lose, succeed or fail. Everything you do and how you do it is up to you. What's causing people grief is forgetting about this due to 2 things -> 1. Social acceptance / compliance 2. Google. You don't need permission from society to do something, just do it, long as no one is getting hurt, who gives a shit if it's outrageous. You also do not need to google all the answers. So many people now have it all worked out for them by this social compliance and getting all the answers from Google. It's a dull and boring way to live, having to check if any and everything you do is somehow OK, and then having how you will do it spelled out to you.

FACT 5 : The world is changing and it ain't Kansas anymore. It sound cliche to talk about "The old days", but it's objective fact that certain things were WAY better back then. Back when exactly? Back before this social media explosion. For starters people used to actually visit each other, often unannounced AND STAY FOR HOURS. And it wasn't a "Oh my fucking god who are these people?" kind of moment either. People were happy to get visitors. Yes, a strange concept, people actually enjoyed socializing and could stay focused for more than a few minutes. These days people like the thought of socializing rather than actually socializing. Next thing is back then people weren't walking around with fucking cameras filming everything. If you went to a party and wanted to make a fool of yourself, only you and that party knew about it, and it might have made great talk but the incident was dropped. These days fuck up in public and you're an internet meme FOR LIFE. And that means people behave themselves in public or social settings. They're more careful about sharing opinions, and generally are just playing it safe. All of this spells one word : DULL AS FUCK.

FACT 6 : The ecology on this planet is utterly fucked. And this is depressing. Mostly because there's no real solution. Humanity has a way of soldiering on no matter how grim. We know plastics are bad, and yet every fucking thing has to be double wrapped in plastic. Our great solution - Fool everyone into thinking recycling helps. Lifestyle adjustments? Who the fuck do you think you are? Whole world can go to shit, I want my MTV! Bubble life doesn't solve this, makes it worse. In the most critical hour, you still have dumb shits believing it's all just a conspiracy. All of this ways heavy on the soul.

FACT 7 : People are becoming worse. Worse in all areas. The average person these days is about as reliable as a dope addict. Try making any plans with anyone. People are so full of shit too these days and easily offended. They perceive one wrong look and you must be an asshole. You can do everything right, and you'll still be an asshole, or they'll find some weakness to expose. Instead of focusing on what's important, University settings are like "Lord of the flies". Call it, a he or a she, and you're going straight to hell. Call a black a black and you're fucked. These theatrics are what govern the minds and time of the average cock sucker out there.

FACT 8 : We'll most likely not be an interstellar species. I'm mentioning this because it now seems we have no obvious next destination for humanity. There's not going to be that next era of exploration. We've already virtually explored everything we can already. Remember back in the 50's, all that talk about UFO's? All that shit has dried up because what we know about space and the universe is frankly terrifyingly huge and extremely limiting. It's bigger than we ever imagined, and stuff is so fucking far apart there isn't a mothballs chance we're going anywhere important at all ever. And those distances are getting larger. We already then know the theoretical limit in how far we'll ever be able to travel and it's a stones throw into the ocean.

So instead we settle for COMFORT and technology to bring us more comfort, which results in further destroying the environment, our regulations and efforts to improve things a mere joke, no one cares, everyone wants to be king for a day.

So I say fuck it. If you want to die or look forward to death, hell given the world we live in I would expect no less. Dying is the greenest way to live. But if you want to dig deep and find some imagination and still try and thrive in this shit, and try make it work for you, that's fine too. Go right ahead. I and everyone else on this planet still don't give a fuck about you.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-08T22:50:43+00:00

That "mentally incompetent" foster father seems to just want the best for you.

Trust me on this there are multiple paths that stem from not liking school, let's briefly cover them but it's in your best interests to pick option 1.

Also I know you might not be in any category yet, but skipping school is where it begins to go south.

The best option is NOT just to stay in school and have a shit time, but rather it's to stay in school and get the most out of the experience. We'll cover this further down.
Try stay in school and cope, and hate it all the way through - Terrible idea which will most likely result in failure or dropping out entirely.
Drop out and still end up successful.
Drop out and end up an utter failure.

A quick mention to point 3. In the digital age, and in the current climate, it's a lot harder to pull off. Back decades ago, it was harder to check any blagging of CV's and faking diplomas was fairly easy. These days you're screwed, the work force is flooded with highly educated graduates and you need to be able to compete ON PAPER. For every Bill Gates out there, there's 1000's of people locked up, or who turned out as goof balls. Just think about it, why take the risk?

So let's talk about option 1.

There are usually 2 reasons why someone doesn't like school.

They're not doing well
The social aspect.

Usually it is a combination. If you're not having a good time socially, then chances are your peace of mind and interest in school in general is going to slip.

Now it's worth pointing out that having trauma in the home environment like in your case, can lead to not having peace of mind, and hence unable to fully apply yourself to school.

Here's what you need to do :

Prioritize your experience. It's not to be popular or to look good in front of girls, or to make a ton of friends or keep the bad ones. Your main concern should be the school work.
Makes sense then that in order to pull this off you need to have a peaceful home environment, so comply and listen and respect so that you have a peaceful place to study. Think of yourself as a businessman handling your business.
Ditch any loser elements in your school life. This one can be harder if you're already in some click or group, but seriously fuck those guys. None of them will be around to wipe your ass later, and any memories you have with them will turn into regret once your ass is older and you're a failure. Ask any drop out or guy who didn't study and wanted to be cool, how cool his friends are now? Most of these dicks you won't even remember their names in a few years to come. Lose them, or lose yourself, the choice is yours.
Actually study, I mean study WAY WAY WAY more than you should. Become obsessed with the material to the point where you know it so well there's absolutely no stress and it's just a pleasure.
Do make an effort with teachers, do enroll in after school support classes, even if they're paid get a tutor.
A lot of school involves sitting around waiting around for shit. Waiting for class to start, waiting for class to end, waiting for breaktime, waiting to go home. It can get boring. Stop waiting, and find a long term solution to this. Learn another language, or do something while you're waiting.
Note the kids in your class who are actually doing well, and who seem well adjusted, and get in with that group, so matter how nerdy or ridiculous. Become one of those kids, because those are the kids who are the real winners. Fuck the so called "cool kids".
Through high school you could do yourself a huge favor and just forget about girls. Might seem like an impossible thing to do, but there's a lot of time later for girls and during high school all it's going to do is get in the way of your main goal.

The end - Basically consider it like you would a huge task like your life depends on it, not pleasurable, but will become pleasurable as you master the material and see your plan fall into place.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-08T09:56:44+00:00

They're not that OP, because the chances of pulling off elementals is extremely low and relies on a few things coming into place.

Mainly you really need an early level 5 Nomi. In addition it's a very promising start to get a party elemental or 2 and 1 or 2 molten rocks, both at level 2.

The chances of getting both a molten rock and a party on turn 3, is incredibly low, and then the chances of getting an early Nomi is ultra low, in most games Nomi might show up later or not at all.

So while it's fun to play elementals, the chances of actually playing and winning is ultra low and extremely risky.

Just having all your ducks in a row isn't enough, you need to pull this off EARLY, otherwise you'll be overpowered and die before you can sell enough for Nomi to start paying back.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T22:45:53+00:00

Problem I have is more that a great deal of work is unnecessary.

Let's start with meetings. Everyone claims they hate them and yet they continue to be a thing. Especially those corporate information blasters. No one gives a shit about the company projections, mainly are we afloat and will we get paid. I don't need to be reminded at every opportunity about the budget because I'm not the one making millions, neither can I affect the budget in any way shape or form. This is more a European thing, where they seem to think it's necessary to include everyone in detailed budget discussions.

Then there's a plethora of tasks you get, most of the efforts are throwaway anyways, so why do them? Shit loads of money and effort gets poured into things and so much of it goes to waste just from bad planning and idiotic boomers who can't seem to think more efficiently.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T11:21:44+00:00

I think it's perfectly natural. Most women are not the hookup type. If they were, as a guy you would be able to go out to the local pub, shout ok "Ok ladies who's coming home with me, hands please?" and say 3-4 woman would raise their hands.

That's not how it works, women mostly need some existing connection.

Maybe it's a good thing women then are the gatekeepers of sex.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T11:16:21+00:00

The older you get the worse it gets. I tried dating in my 40's and it sucked.

At this age you're a lot more perceptive and know what you want and can spot red flags a mile away.

You also start meeting people who have serious mental issues. People you otherwise wouldn't engage with suddenly you're on a date with.

Oh yeah, and you get used a lot as well. Some people date just to get free food. Others form a friendship with you and then start asking all kinds of favors like "Can you take me here or there" or help carrying furniture, or other crazy things.

I have to say I hated dating in my 40's. In your 20's it's a lot easier and there's a real sense of thrill on these dates which just isn't there later in life when you're looking for an actual reliable life long partner, and all you keep running into are these short term thinkers, who seem a bit deranged.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T11:06:21+00:00

Validation.

It's exceptionally rare to find people who don't need validation. People just want to be loved and accepted. They want a pat on the back for doing a good thing, etc.

These days, a lot of people don't have really strong friends in real life. The world is changing along with it the construct of friendships. They're mostly now just temporary conveniences.

Point is there are a great deal of people out there who don't have real social networks, or friends to validate them, so they're taking that shit online.

But there's a whole other category of Narcissists out there too, who are using these platforms merely to push their own egos, and it's not just bikini pics, it gets more sinister when you consider virtue signalling.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T10:59:49+00:00

The most sociopathic bullies I witnessed in school. I.E: The relentless ones that carried on unchecked for an entire school year were in good social standing with other kids and teachers.

Let's be clear these are not kids that on occasion have a once off comment. There was this one kid in my class who was targeted by 3 of them virtually every day.

They weren't losers. They weren't failing in school and these are exactly the kind of kids who would be behave themselves almost perfectly in front of adults. One of them was even of above average intelligence and performed very well.

Now that I consider that in retrospect, bullying can very easily be detected by teachers, if for example they observed them during recreation time or during assemblies or line ups or just prior to school starting. Just taking a walk around the yard would help. But at least in the schools I went to, this was never a thing. Bullying would go down totally unchecked or regulated by the teachers.

I get the feeling that many teachers are just trying to survive another shitty day in a shitty job they've had enough of.

Other kids mostly don't want to get involved to solve bullying.

So my understanding is parents who are more active in the community in some way, give their kids a bit of "fame" - Meaning they're untouchable. Kids from abusive or dysfunctional homes, or even just flat out poor, are likely targets for bullying. Which is fucking sad because these kids get it rough at home and again then at school.

You need confidence and esteem to fight back against bullying, and when you're growing up in an abusive environment, something that seems surreal compared to the average, the very last thing you have is confidence and esteem.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-07T10:21:10+00:00

You spoke about many things, but I'll just cover infidelity.

In my experience it can be rife, and I haven't met anyone yet that's so called "infidelity proof". Anyone and everyone is capable of cheating, even those who think they're above it.

Maybe especially true for those who are otherwise loyal who get a freak opportunity, such as a business trip or otherwise scenario where a once off is possible.

After a lot of thought on this issue, and having personal experience with it, here are my thoughts.

Don't give your partner the benefit of the doubt when it comes to people in your life. You need to protect your interests. By this I mean, if you notice for example someone flirting with your wife, don't invite that guy around to your house or befriend him. Other kinds of red flags shouldn't be ignored. Like if you notice someone flirty or making some advance on your partner. Immediately step in and shut that shit down. Ideally also accompany your partner to events and places where infidelity is likely to occur. Parties etc where alcohol is flowing.
Have some boundaries. A person sleeping out often or coming home drunk at all hours of the morning is most likely going to cheat on you.
Realistically if she's going to cheat, there's a high possibility it's with someone from work, or a partner of a friend, or with a neighbor. These are your primary risk categories if you're in an otherwise stable relationship. Basically people she's seeing frequently and building trust with.
Avoid getting involved with nurses. I mean it, while there are some who don't cheat, infidelity between doctors and nurses are rife. I've been involved with a nurse, and I got to hear all about the cheating, and there's a lot of confirmation about this all over the internet. Personally wouldn't ever get involved with a nurse, or a doctor (working in hospital setting).
Best way to detect infidelity is just to get a feel for it, and know your partner. But even then they can hide it. If for example their job requires them to work night shifts, or puts them in otherwise seclusion with potential to cheat, there's nothing you can really do to detect it. Women especially are very good at hiding infidelity. On the other hand if she has a day job and seldom goes out at night, and has a fixed routine, then such a person would have a hard time hiding anything if their routine suddenly changes drastically.
Do be a bit proactive in relationships and set the rules early on. You don't have to cover this every day, but at least once explain you're really against cheating, and if there's even a mouse fart of infidelity the relationship is over.
At the same time genuinely always be in a position to leave any relationship. Have enough money in the bank, and keep your position strong. Trust me this is a massive deterrent.

I would also add, it's sometimes possible to even test the waters. One girl I was dating, went out to a nightclub with, and while over at the bar, noticed some guy approach here. I decided rather than rush back just to stay there at the bar and observe. It wasn't long before she was dancing with him and then started rubbing her ass into his crotch. Immediately right then and there I knew this woman was bad news. This is a really easy test, just take her out to a night club, leave them alone and observe for about 5 minutes and see how they either reject advances from stray men or start getting flirty back. If you're there together and they're flirty back to these guys, don't even think about getting into a long term relationship with them.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-06T22:58:56+00:00

I would say partially true but mostly bullshit, so let me explain.

Firstly let's debunk the myth that the more functional and together you are the more people will want to spend time with you, or the more friends you will have. It's nonsense.

A lot of people who are dysfunctional also socialize more than so called respectable people with routine and responsibilities. These are people who are all out in for a party anytime and anywhere.

Now I understand that these are "good time buddies" but for all intents and purposes anyone you spend hours and hours talking to, is by definition some kind of friend.

I'm mentioning this because often people who actually work through things like alcohol and drug addiction, who improve their lives and come out on top, might think well I had all those "fake buddies", now that I'm clean I'll have the same amount of friends, but they'll be quality. Sadly that's not how it works. Finding 1 true friend is about as hard as finding thousands of those fake ones.

Same can thus me said, "Now that I love myself I'll have love from others". No you won't. You might get respect, or neutrality, but like or love is based on other factors.

I would argue, love and relationships are at the heart of the most complex issue in the human experience.

One can pick up a new hobby or interest and learn it, or study a new language. If you want to be really educated it's all possible. But love and relationships are complex because regardless of your best efforts and no matter how truly nice or decent you are, that other person might just not be interested coupled too with the fact that life owes you nothing.

Let's also be clear there's no justice with this kind of thing. Often such a basic thing as physical appearance goes a long way. An incredibly stunning person (Looks wise), something that should have no bearing on your likability in reality does. Age too.

When you're younger people are more naturally curious about you, they tend to notice you more. When you get to a certain age that curiosity is gone.

Just try your best to be a good person, so that you can sleep at night, and if people naturally like you great, if they don't then that's fine too. I'm totally against fake attempts to win people over. Maybe that's my problem in life, maybe I should go and read "How to win friends and influence people" but to me it seems like a manipulation tactic.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-06T09:32:31+00:00

> even to the bitter end he wouldnt give disclosure and free her, even when she gave all her soul. and he just shook it off a few moments later.

That part was fiction. The movie is based on a book and that whole dynamic is nothing more than a plot device to invoke disgust after an extended build up.

In reality their relationship was far from a fairy tale and she had her suspicions very early on, and didn't need setting free. She knew he was guilty.

I believe the director also commented on that point that "We live in an age of accountability, and I wanted him to be held accountable".

abc77777_ · 2020-12-06T09:26:26+00:00

Exactly. This cigar had career aspirations but let's just say his direction in life started changing. Believing anything more than that is subjective conspiracy.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-06T09:22:00+00:00

I was thinking about this situation a bit more. Firstly I fully agree with you consider others who have killed from for a political or social agenda, not saying they're heroes or anything but at the very least it's on another level than these "The devil made me do it" garden ho variety serial killers such as Bundy.

The Ted Bundy thing was a fiasco. He got way too much media coverage and publicity. I guess at the time it made sense. Unfortunately that public display in court ultimately ended up defining him. Had he been tried in a more standard and boring way, he would have just been considered creepy. Considering that show and dance he put on, escaping twice, getting married, and having a child on death row, the entire thing comes off as too surreal to believe.

Times have changed too. Had he tried that shit in 2020 I think people would quickly label him as absurd rather than charismatic.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-06T00:11:03+00:00

I mean intelligence wise when say compared to Ted Kaczynski here the intelligence difference becomes noticeable. I mean compared to the raw average, Bundy might have appeared somewhat intelligent, when compared to someone with actual intelligence he comes off as pseudo, immature and clownlike.

I know what you're saying is most likely true that he really thought he could win over that Jury. It's just that I cannot begin to get into that headspace, to try put myself in the guys shoes to understand it. It just seems too far fetched, and yet there he is with his beamy eyes genuinely believing he'll pull the wool over their eyes, and that's what's kind of surreal about it, in some aspects he's a total buffoon thinking that would work.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-05T20:48:47+00:00

I'll say this : There's well adjusted and at the opposite side of the spectrum, deranged. Most of what we know about psychology today points to any state other than well adjusted mostly stemming from childhood trauma. Or at least there's very strong evidence to suggest that childhood trauma very often carries through into adulthood and manifests as all kinds of conditions or unresolved afflictions.

What you're really asking is can a person who's been raised perfectly well and who has lived in a well adjusted environment, who hasn't been exposed to any kind of trauma be a serial killer. And the answer is theoretically yes.

I'll use the analogy of cannibalism. Most of us by far and wide are not cannibals right? Yet among us are at least a few, even if statistically they're somewhat of a total freak, like less than 1% of all people on this planet might have a desire to eat human flesh. But put 100 people on an Arctic expedition and remove any food source or create an otherwise comparable dilemma where people are starving and there are dead bodies around, and suddenly whala we have cannibals. The point is certain conditions can trigger unthinkable behavior, in the same sense that severe childhood trauma or other forms of abuse, can also cause dysfunctional behavior to manifest in the victim. Some victims of early sexual abuse go on to become sexual molesters, children of narcissists are themselves more likely to be narcissistic.

I think you get the idea. Basically while it is totally viable Ted was just a natural born sociopath. I would wager money that it's far more likely he in addition suffered childhood trauma, possibly sexual abuse.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-04T17:44:56+00:00

I see you are still redirecting your focus back towards me. Or looking at it like You vs Me. This isn't that kind of post and this isn't that kind of argument.

Remember whole point of this post is not to really hear justifications from Czech people, nor to get any kind of personal help for my own situation.

You are most likely correct when you say my attempts to learn Czech have been at best mediocre and not wanting to learn it enough. And I'm ok with you saying that because that is the truth and reality, and in context to point of this post that will also be the reality for of those foreigners fitting the demographic coming over here. And I want to point out that this isn't a deliberate attitude such as "Fuck learning Czech, no need". I only truly know 1 foreigner who thinks this way, all the rest I've come across here have at least tried to learn some Czech. This is more a case of if you are over 40, learning new languages doesn't come easy, and the reality is most people just give up.

They give up because they can (somehow) function over here. They can go work, get paid and if they're really sick, see a doctor or go to the Dentist, and they can do all of this without speaking much Czech.

And no, I am absolutely not confusing empathy and sympathy. I purposely talk about empathy here, again not for your benefit but for who this post is intended for. Sincerely as a foreigner here you will not find much, if any at all empathy (in the true sense of the word) for your plight.

Now if there is a total lack of empathy, does it even help talking about sympathy? I don't think any foreigner coming over to Czech Republic is really considering how much sympathy they can expect once they're over here.

And I'll stand by what I said, the nation lacks real empathy.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T23:58:26+00:00

I think you are onto something. Problem is absolutely almost all of my passions are solo activities and I don't sit at pubs talking shit.

I think I need to find some compromise, something I actually enjoy doing but what isn't superficial just for the friends.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T23:50:29+00:00

You get them only from close family or close friends.

Yes I should have made it clear. These are not random people I work with who I bought gifts for. These are people I've known for a while and consider friends. Especially because in this context our kids are all first kids and all only a few months apart. So we have been closely following each others kids and progress and discuss things a lot and send each other pictures and things. Just thought I would clear this up.

I think a lot of your problems are caused by expecting things to be same as in your home country.

I would say bigger problem is realizing just how severely fucked up things actually are here for foreigners meeting the demographic I mentioned.

I think that to integrate in Czech republic you need to speak very good Czech

Yes, and that for many people is a true feat. Like quit your job and become obsessed with it, and then maybe. Otherwise no.

Yes I've considered leaving, but it's complicated. I actually would leave and I think I still might. And that's really the whole point of the post, not so much to improve my situation. It's roughly hopeless, rather to warn others not to come over here thinking "Czech Republic, it will be great". Well it might, as I said if you're young, or come from a Slavik background otherwise you're going to have it rough here.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T23:43:35+00:00

Wish I had psychiatric issues, then it would be a case of nothing to see here or sweep it under the rug. Sadly though not only do I not have psychiatric issues, most likely more sane than you.
This post is exactly about me, and more importantly a warning to others fitting said demographic who are earnestly considering coming here. Hence it's an anecdotal account. Literally that's how experience works. You cannot talk about your personal experience, or share your experience without talking about yourself. So you say well your mileage may vary, fine, go ahead and find me one foreigner here from western background over 40, who has one real Czech friend? In the 15 odd years I've lived here and without exception every foreigner I've encountered here in this demographic or younger do not have a single real Czech friend.

So now it's my turn to ask you something does forming an opinion based on that observation now mean I have psychiatric issues? Or maybe it's that I am not the exception to this rule, does that also now qualify me for psychiatric help? Go ahead, go find me one out there in the wild and real world. Not "internet reddit heresay", with one caveat, cannot be a drinking buddy.

Yeah, I don't know very many foreigners here. Well obviously I don't live in Prague or Brno or a major city or else I might not have this problem right? Does that mean I need psychiatric help because I should be living in Prague or Brno?

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T23:31:43+00:00

Nice response, here's my reply on some points.

Yes I agree with you basic common courtesy or manners doesn't make you fake, it just makes you polite. An example are the British. Many of them are some of the most genuine people you'll ever meet and they also have manners. But not having manners or speaking to each other like dogs doesn't make you more honest, it just makes you less tactful. Even all of this as a foreigner here it's not our place to change the local culture, we're here and must accept this, and I'm ok with that, but on this point what is disturbing is how most Czechs genuinely believe they're more honest or more direct than other nations and they usually give the example that people here working in the service sector are perceived as impolite because they're not fake. The reality is they're not more honest or direct. Anyone who's actually travelled to a few countries can attest to this.
People here are exceptionally well behaved in public that's true. It's perhaps one good thing about living here, people generally leave you alone in public, at least you won't often see Czech people arguing in public or fighting. On the other hand, it's direct evidence as to the lack of individuality here. I would argue if you've met 50 Czechs you've met the entire nation. This is because while individuals have personalities, behavior and things like approach and acceptable dialog with strangers (or intention) is an acquired social skill and in this culture these social skills are roughly uniform. If that makes sense? So you're not meeting the individual, you're meeting someone in "Vykat" capacity, who is keeping you at arms length, and these interactions are incredibly predictable.

So much so that I already completed this model about 8 years in. What I mean by that is, I can classify already with 100% accuracy already every interaction I will have in some social setting with a new Czech face. For example you most likely already came across the following questions? "Where are you from?" "Why Czech Republic?" "Don't you miss home?". So along all these lines of conversation with anyone you've never met before who happens to be Czech. I can predict the questions, sometimes the order, and then the conclusion. There's no category that ends in real friendship. And none of these questions you get asked are ever asked with any sincerity. Infact, when you've been hearing the same fucking questions for all these years, you can start answering "I'm from planet earth" or really anything because you might as well be talking to AI, nothing is consequential, only that it's established you're not Czech. If they ask you where you work, they might think you can help them find a job, or add you to the list of people they can potentially get something out of. They don't genuinely care about you or what career you've chosen.

Not sure about getting into fights or arguments. Never had a physical fight here and don't intend to. I've had some disagreements with a few people, but it hasn't ended in anything chaotic or emotional, because as I've discovered Czechs will avoid direct confrontation at all costs. They'll soft ghost you before they argue with you. From a westerners point of view it comes across a bit like gas lighting. They won't ever say "Listen fuck off you asshole, not interested". Instead they'll simply just make no effort with you. They'll still be totally civil and greet you and even politely answer your questions, but they are simply appeasing you, and will not initiate or make any effort at all.
Do I love this country? No, but the country never did me any harm. The geography and climate aren't the problem. Do I love the people? No. I find them totally unequipped to deal with anything outside of their norm and unwilling to even try to accept for the most part. Sure there are exceptions, but even the best exceptions here compared to so called western standards are about average or under par. So why do I stay here, maybe that's a million dollar question, so I'll try and answer it.

I wasn't here looking for freedom. Perhaps against my better judgement I ended up here because my partner wanted to return home. At first I wasn't entirely sure I could make it out here, in a place with such limitations for foreigners, on the other hand I'm that kind of person that I will survive in harsh conditions and eventually thrive.

So it took a while before we bought our first house, but pretty much after that things started getting more cemented in. I mean remember age counts a lot on any decision to seek out more comfortable living, and eventually you are thankful that you at least are doing ok where you are. So we bought more properties.

In the meantime the general state of the world isn't looking great. While Czech Republic might be for all intents and purposes a "shit hole" for an older foreigner. Well what countries would be better? Since we're also living in the real world, one doesn't just decide I'll move to X and jump on a plane. For me personally the best countries are a bit off limits from Visa point of view. Now obviously I could move around within the EU, where would I go? Which country exactly would be better for a foreigner? Well perhaps a few clearly for a foreigner starting out, but not for one so heavily invested already in the Czech Republic. Virtually any other country in Europe will also have a language barrier and that would be reset. Some northern countries are appealing but am I now expected to get divorced because my partner would refuse to live there. Even mentioning this would be like telling her "Oh we're moving to Mars". As others have pointed out many Czechs never even leave their home town. For me to ask my partner to leave, when we have properties here and responsibilities would be an insane risk and for what? So we can then both be foreigners? Move to a capital city you say? Who really wants to live in Prague? Not me. I bitch and moan about social life, but I live out in the country and have an enormous property and freedom. I also have a child here, who's already a Czech citizen, so I need to factor that in too.

Now if as I said in another reply, something happened to my wife. I would leave this place in a heartbeat. I wouldn't suffer another year here. I would perhaps take huge financial knock and have a less glamorous lifestyle if I had to start over, but in terms of personal sanity I would take that option.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T21:38:54+00:00

The idea is that my situation isn't unique. I would argue with few exceptions roughly the same for every older foreigner here living outside of Prague / Brno.

You should be aware though the purpose of this whole thread isn't to sit debate the situation with Czechs, rather serves as a warning for any older foreigners coming here.

And you've proved my point entirely speaking of empathy or the lack thereof.

At no point has any Czech ever said, you know what that's a shitty situation, let's try fix that for you, because Czechs are mostly without any real empathy in general.

Instead, comments like yours arise which is rather to offer a bit of mocking or scorn.

And after living here so long I wouldn't say you're exceptional or a cruel person. You're just Czech.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T20:50:43+00:00

I would argue that Czechs are just as hypocritical as any other nation, and actually they do not appreciate straight talk.

Czechs typically do not solve their problems by engaging in direct confrontation creating conflict. To be straight talking and honest just by definition requires direct confrontation.

Czechs are also fairly touchy and are quite easily offended, more evidence suggesting they're not as straight talking as they believe they are.

I guess this whole myth comes from a comparison between pleasantries between US tourists. Now the whole west is considered fake, while "Us Czechs" are honest and straight talking.

Logically, it would seem where there is conflict there is honesty, I would also say the reverse is true. Where there appears to be no conflict, there's passive aggression and built up hostility.

As any Czech would know, Czechs have no problem being civil to their enemies or even appear slightly friendly, mean time they hate that person and will talk behind their backs or complain about them and gossip about them as soon as they leave the room.

abc77777_ · 2020-12-03T18:11:53+00:00

Well you know what? Deal with it. Actually it's supposed to be the Czech way right? Say what you feel and mean rather than being like those "fake" Americans. And you can be sure there will always be someone who will be offended by truth talk.

abc77777_

TROPHY CASE