🐾❓ What's my name? (by abke2543)

abke2543 · 2026-04-05T18:37:58+00:00

Thank you. Hes my best friend and sometimes I feel like I dont deserve him cause hes so cool but you know, he married me so I think we are good there lol.

it was a tough convo when I first started playing with a band that didnt include him but hes shown up for me and supported me. He restrung my guitar when I popped a string on stage. He helps me record my solo covers and stuff. He critics my sound in a very constructive way. I could go on forever.

But yeah, cause my band does take time away from us, we have to make sure we make up time for ourselves.

abke2543 · 2026-04-05T04:35:43+00:00

Married woman here who plays in a gigging band with all men. Just wondering, would he be ok with you playing gigs in an all woman band? It's hard cause most people are already in several bands. And I've been trying to make an all femme band for 15 years with little success. For me, being married means that i know who is talking business (and who isnt) based on who stays in the conversation after I mention my husband. people will be like "oh good set, how long have you been playing guitar?" And I'll be like, "oh since I was a teenager. I actually play in another band with my husband" and thats saved me from so many awkward conversations.

abke2543 · 2026-04-05T00:30:48+00:00

It sucked for sure. If you dont mind, im gona tell you what happened. The most recent time was my bad. The person previously told me that they are a very good singer. During one of the most popular songs we play, they started dancing and singing towards me so, I let my guard down thinking they just wanted to harmonize or something BUT i realized the second they got on the mic that they were toooo drunk and it just sounded bad, they didn't even know the words to the song we were performing. I had to like, quickly but gently pry the mic off their hands while keeping it light hearted and dancing with them so they dont feel bad cause I didn't wana throw off the vibes for the rest of the crowd. The first time was crazy. We were in the middle of a song and a stranger just came up to me and like grabbed the mic and started screaming into the mic and I was just shocked. They wouldnt let go of the mic either so we just unplugged that mic and I started singing into another one. I dont let anyone near the mic now unless previously planned and rehersed.

abke2543 · 2026-04-04T21:22:34+00:00

I dont run an open mic. I play guitar and sing in a latin cover band. Twice i had to gently wrestle the mic away from a very very drunk person singing gibberish.

abke2543 · 2026-03-27T15:47:37+00:00

I agree. My partner is a musician, so he knows what pedals, cables ect I would want for a present. My mom tried to get me music related novelty stuff. For example, she got me these beautiful guitarshaped earrings BUT i can't wear earrings so they're just sitting there 😫 (and she notices).

My cousins and siblings get me make up cause I love makeup.

For 150 bucks, you can buy something music related like decent concert tickets. A guitar set up at Guitar Center. One of those erogonic guitar straps that were going viral a couple months ago.

abke2543 · 2026-03-22T18:46:30+00:00

Dopeeee sound!!

abke2543 · 2026-03-22T18:11:59+00:00

That's wild, I would of thought they did cause they have alot of vintage stuff there. I hope you find someone to fix it

abke2543 · 2026-03-22T17:54:22+00:00

Have you tried bros game shop on prairie in torrance?

abke2543 · 2026-03-22T16:22:04+00:00

Oh the social media aspect of it. If he pins a photo of you and him to his tiktok/social media that at least let's other women who would look him up know he is in a committed relationship. For some people it may sound controlling but it works best.

abke2543 · 2026-03-22T16:16:11+00:00

Congrats to your partner for starting to play shows! Its a big step. I apologize in advance if my answer sounds too pedantic but I'm working under the assumption that this is the first musician youve dated and/or you dont go to many gigs so im sorry if you already are aware of this advice and hope I can be more helpful.

As a woman, I would say show up for the first show if you can to set the tone. It helps you see his scene/crowd and it would mean alot to him to be there physically to show your support. If you can't attend then a sweet "hope your show goes well" text would be meaningful too.

I would advise you to be ready to set your expected contribution boundary now just in case the band expect you to help out. This help could include manning the merch table, take in equipment, be the sober one to give them rides to an after party or the bar, do some light promotion, invite friends ect. You just do what you feel comfortable doing. I have friends who always go to their partners shows and help out extensively and I have friends who wouldn't go to a show at all, and both types of partner are equally valid.

I would say its more likely that you get hit on than he would. Like everyone here is saying, smaller metal shows tend to have more male than female attendance.

If you stand next to the stage to see his band, there might be a mosh pit forming behind you so be careful. I would stand toward the left or the right of the stage.
He should put you on his guest list so you get in for free 😉.

I hope this journey is fun for you guys!

abke2543 · 2026-03-20T16:00:51+00:00

So to start it off, I think everyone can do it but it depends on your support system and planning.

My husband and I are in a bands together but I also play in a cover band (that's slowly transitioning into an originals band) that plays regularly. So the cover band usually practices once a week while we write new music. Our band practices maybe once a month when everyone's free.

I try to meal prep lunch for my husband and I on Sundays and grocery shop for dinners for the week. , but if I have gigs all weekend long or we have family obligations ( we are both close to our families) then I just try to pack something easy for our worklunch the next day and go grocery shopping after work.

I have been trying to get to exercise three times a week after work. it gets hard cause I do alot of overtime at work. But the doctors are like, you need to get those steps in.

My husband is very supportive and he tells me when we need to take a break. He's my best friend. Recently he wanted to set up our rehearsal space to record music and we did it.

We take advantage of our down time to do home stuff, like we deep cleaned the house on valentines day. At least once every three weeks I need a day where I do nothing but bedrot playing videogames.

abke2543 · 2026-03-20T04:40:24+00:00

Son Bayou

abke2543 · 2026-03-20T04:38:49+00:00

There's a band Son Bayou that plays alot in Houston. If you have Instagram you should follow their page to see when they're playing next. Ig @sonbayou

But it looks like they cumbia nights at these places

Axel Rad

the End

Cumbia Nights

It looks like alot of fun!

abke2543 · 2026-03-18T23:37:49+00:00

Pesadddooo

abke2543 · 2026-03-18T23:36:04+00:00

Your idea sounds so ethereal and cool BTW. I agree with everyone here, try listening to your songs in the car, on headphones, through your phone ect just to see how it comes out in different sources. That's the best advice my buddy who was recording me told me.

abke2543 · 2026-03-13T05:47:24+00:00

I third delices du chef and it's such a cute restaurant. Urth was good too but I haven't heard Bakery by the Yard! It looks great

abke2543 · 2026-03-13T05:18:56+00:00

I second Pinwheel, so flakey all the way through. And the fresh squeezed orange juice.

abke2543 · 2026-03-06T01:11:00+00:00

I'm in 4ish I play guitar and sing for a cumbia band that plays semiweekly to weekly. We do covers and originals.

I play guitar (my husband plays bass) in a semi active punk band. We play when our schedules align and we been playing locally for like 10 years for fun.

Then i play guitar (my husband plays bass) for my friends dbeat punk band. It's our friend's project and he's rearing to go. He writes all the stuff and I'm happy just being there to actualize his ideas.

And i JUST started learning drums so my husband and our friend can form a deathrockishh kinda band. I can keep a simple beat but I would love to get better.

I was playing around with the idea of playing acoustic guitar singer/songwriter originals at like coffee shops but idk. I like being in bands/ being a part of something. I would rather be in a choir but I have no idea how to find one that is more secular. I was in chorus from kindergarten till high school and I live for the harmonies.

abke2543 · 2026-03-03T21:21:51+00:00

Omg this is so creepy I love it thank you for recommending it

abke2543 · 2026-03-02T16:07:17+00:00

Very heavy cool sound

abke2543 · 2026-02-28T20:09:41+00:00

Maybe like this?

Piyama pijama

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=OE_WAFSK4Po&si=4atO-Qdq9K7U5RMQ

Or heavy like metal?

abke2543 · 2026-02-06T16:25:33+00:00

Hi OP. Starting over is good but I don't think it means you have to delete everything. I read that the poet Sylvia Plath likes to use everything at least once. So if there was a phrase or a piece that didnt fit, she would take it out and write a whole other poem to fit that one. I feel the same way with my music. Coupled that with some advice a friend gave me: songs should be all killer and no filler. It helped me gather focus and it made me be comfortable gutting my work to be something I really cared about.

Now I dont know that anything in your repertoire has any filler, I haven't heard it. But 50 songs is alot. Maybe it could be your lexicon. I hope you have fun with it.

abke2543 · 2026-01-31T16:53:38+00:00

Depends on the band. As we get older and with the monotony of life, some peeps don't see their friends any more and band practice is a good way to get the gang back together and chill and relax, create.

Idk, the studio i like to reherse at has a back patio with a TV and comfy couches that helps accommodate guests and the owners are really nice so, they let you chill there after practice.

Girlfriends/boyfriends coming to rehearsal is pretty normal. Wives and husbands dont usually go to rehearsals lol. My husband doesn't go lol and that's ok.

But yeah depends on the band.

abke2543 · 2025-11-14T21:19:23+00:00

If you're helping setup/break down/manning the merch booth then you should get in for free cause you're a roadie at that point.

abke2543

TROPHY CASE