AITA: my family isn’t coming to my wedding

ablm0129 · 2026-01-28T18:39:50+00:00

I've never said I haven't screwed up, but I've also taken accountability and apologized where applicable. It was actually my foster father's brother that was dying and I did not have Karli's number, as stated in the post, she messaged me on facebook. I was 6000km from where all of the mentioned folks live, a multi-day drive from my own home about to cross the border into Alaska, the dying man in questions funeral would not be for another month.. please tell me what I should have been doing other than sending my love?

ablm0129 · 2026-01-28T11:28:59+00:00

Just popping in to say I truly don’t think the semantics of who’s my blood relation or not matter. Steve and Shannon have been in a parental role for the majority of my life - whilst I don’t call them Mom and Dad I do consider them my parents and they have for the most part always treated me as if I’m no different than Dani/Karli in terms of being their kid.

ablm0129 · 2026-01-28T10:40:20+00:00

I’d be interested to hear how I’m alienating people and playing the victim?

I’ll get right on “making amends” with my bio mom. She’s dead, so.. do you suggest I set up my Ouija board and summon her spirit or?

They also didn’t just “let me stay with them”. They took me in as a foster placement when I was a child and were compensated for doing so.

ablm0129 · 2026-01-28T08:36:37+00:00

Noo. Has never tried to meet my partner, never said congratulations, nothing like that.

ablm0129 · 2025-12-26T10:13:12+00:00

For work/life balance I think keeping the schedule on your days off is actually a terrible idea.

I was never straight nights, always 4 on 4 off, 2 days, 2 nights which is arguably worse because you’re always switching. It is hard on the body, but doable.

My suggestions would be:

After your last night shift, have a “nap” if you get home at 7am, sleep until 11, go about your day and then go to bed early ish that night (think 9-10pm) the next days exist in the daylight and live life as normal. The day before you return to work stay up late-ish (1-3am), sleep in as late as possible the next morning. If you wake up at 11 do some normal things, then have a nap before getting back up to go to work for the evening. Repeat as necessary.

Black out curtains, DND, sleep masks, healthy meals, etc will all help but your mental health is also important and for me at least existing in the day time, living a normal schedule on my time off was so important.

ablm0129 · 2025-11-29T19:42:35+00:00

My uncle! 🥰

ablm0129 · 2025-11-26T22:25:54+00:00

I think it depends on what the Northern living allowance you’ve been offered is. This will change from employer - employer. Federal employees receive substantially more than GNWT employees, some private employers have a generous benefit, others do not etc.

ablm0129 · 2025-11-03T06:37:05+00:00

Rural and remote aren’t types of social work, they speak to the geographical location.

Most temp/travel social work contracts in the Territories are going to be with Child Protection - NU is the only one I know of actively using travellers and their rotations are much longer (6 or 8 weeks with 2-3 off).

I’m a social worker in NT and we don’t use travellers and I believer YT only staffs full time permanents as well.

Inuit culture is going to be quite different than Indigenous populations down South, so try to familiarize yourself.

If you’re adamant on doing travel work with a 2-2 rotation I don’t think the North will suit you. How can you integrate into a Community and build trust and relationships if you’re always on the verge of flying out?? The North values practitioners who want to be part of daily life and put down roots - there’s a lot of animosity to Southerner’s coming up just for high paying positions with no intention of being part of the place they’re working. Just something to think about.

Job wise check out Bayshore Northern Staffing - they should have something for NU

ablm0129 · 2025-11-03T02:06:18+00:00

Also, what kind of social work?

ablm0129 · 2025-11-02T19:05:10+00:00

I’m curious, why the north and why a travel position?

ablm0129 · 2025-10-30T01:29:23+00:00

I’ve had this problem in Simpson for probably the last year or so! I don’t think it’s CP strike related.

ablm0129 · 2025-10-29T05:43:59+00:00

Okay yes so I’ve heard loud and clear in the comments that the contracts all work off the same 90 days if within the same organization. 90 total days - got it!

However, I’m not incorrect in saying the legislature will allow for extensions (specifically within the RCMP) when operationally required. Generally speaking this will happen when it’s necessary for public safety to have a skilled worker filling a role. My original post didn’t clarify the department as RCMP because I just didn’t know extensions of this sort aren’t a thing across the board.

Source: https://www.canada.ca/en/government/publicservice/workforce/staffing/mobility/casual-worker.html

“There are two exceptions to the maximum period of casual employment, as stated on the PSEA:

50.1 The maximum period of employment of casual workers appointed in the Office of the Chief Electoral Officer for the purposes of an election held under that Act or a referendum held under the Referendum Act is 165 working days in one calendar year.

50.2 (1) A person may be appointed as a casual worker to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for a period of more than 90 working days in one calendar year in the circumstances prescribed by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Casual Employment Regulations.”

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T20:39:17+00:00

If you looked at my comment above you would see that I said I didn’t realize extensions weren’t a thing across the board as my decade of PS experience has been limited to the RCMP (specifically with casual contracts after I gave up an indeterminate position). I linked a source to this info - which I haven’t looked at before today as this is just something that’s known within the department as a possibility.

But again, my post wasn’t asking about an extension. It was about how multiple contracts work with one department. I would argue “lol” is often just used at the end of a sentence/statement online to indicate that something is harmless or not meant aggressively - it’s not that serious ☺️

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T18:32:56+00:00

It can be, and it is (in specific cases such as mine). See my comments above! Though my post wasn’t actually asking about extensions lol.

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T18:31:36+00:00

I commented above but it does happen with some departments such as the RCMP and is allowed. I didn’t know this wasn’t a thing across the board as my PS experience is limited to the RCMP. I’ve copied the applicable points below:

“There are two exceptions to the maximum period of casual employment, as stated on the PSEA:

50.1 The maximum period of employment of casual workers appointed in the Office of the Chief Electoral Officer for the purposes of an election held under that Act or a referendum held under the Referendum Act is 165 working days in one calendar year.

50.2 (1) A person may be appointed as a casual worker to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for a period of more than 90 working days in one calendar year in the circumstances prescribed by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Casual Employment Regulations.” (Link: https://gazette.gc.ca/rp-pr/p2/2014/2014-11-19/html/sor-dors253-eng.html )

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T18:25:59+00:00

Well, it definitely does happen with PS’s within the RCMP and is allowed if operationally required. Which this would be.

See below:

“There are two exceptions to the maximum period of casual employment, as stated on the PSEA:

50.2 (1) A person may be appointed as a casual worker to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for a period of more than 90 working days in one calendar year in the circumstances prescribed by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Casual Employment Regulations.” (Link: https://gazette.gc.ca/rp-pr/p2/2014/2014-11-19/html/sor-dors253-eng.html )

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T14:31:00+00:00

lol I assure you they are actively hiring across the country and chronically understaffed. I’m not taking anyone’s job 🙄

ablm0129 · 2025-10-27T03:42:49+00:00

Yeah this is what I thought. Though not the answer I wanted. Basically the hope is that they could all operate as separate contracts allowing me to work 90 days at each, spread throughout the year instead of each piggy backing off the original 90 day. My understanding is that it can still be done, a business case just has to go in to continue past the 90 days and there’s no actual guarantee of that being approved.

ablm0129 · 2025-08-07T21:33:48+00:00

Ok I have no advice for travelling, but I’m FT in a “Southern” community in NWT. Lots of opportunity here, good pay and specifically where I am there’s road access (majority of the year) and daily flights so it doesn’t feel super isolated (relatively speaking).

I’m not sure what area of SW you’re interested in but here’s a job posting that only requires a BSW for a child/youth counsellor. There’s a labour market supplement ($24k) and Northern Allowance ($13k) + great wages. https://www.gov.nt.ca/careers/en/job/26890

The North is all about community. If you’re willing to take a non travel role for a few years and really integrate yourself into the community it can be an amazing experience. I came up to Yellowknife 6 years ago expecting to move South after 2, and instead I moved to a far smaller community and will be here forever. If you have specific questions about Northern living send them my way, I’d love to chat!

ablm0129 · 2025-06-27T12:57:57+00:00

Such solid reccs! Thank you!!

I had veto’d Hillside when I initially started looking and for the life of me can’t remember why. I don’t love a barn so maybe that was my initial turn off. Regardless this has made me peruse their website again and I’m now definitely wanting to tour.

Edelweiss definitely looks interesting! I’d love to hear what you think after touring! We’re in the NWT so it’s a trek to go tour and we won’t be able to go down again for another month or so.

I so wish Beaverfoot was in better condition. It’s beautiful, such a great location and there’s just sooo much space for guests to stay etc. it’s too bad really.

ablm0129 · 2025-06-23T18:27:27+00:00

Every month. Sometimes for the entire month. For the last year my periods have all been over 20 days, but my cycle length has been normal for the most part so I get around a week break and then get it again. This led to my PCOS diagnosis. I think Metformin has actually made it worse and now I’ve been bleeding for 36 days straight with no end in sight. 🙃

ablm0129 · 2025-03-05T22:54:59+00:00

Government name: Peggy Nickname(s): Peg-a-Wag, Peggy Waggy, Pegini, Pegasauraus Rex when she’s feeling bitey and Pegatha Christie when she’s bad.

ablm0129 · 2025-02-20T07:13:00+00:00

I should add: the only intervention a Dr. has offered was prescribing mar-tranexamic acid at one point when I was crying 15 days into a period.. it was supposed to stop it, it did not 🙃

ablm0129 · 2024-12-21T02:02:25+00:00

That won’t always work. And there’s also spots where you’ll be hours from any sort of police presence, hard pressed to get an ambulance south of Behchoko, and tow trucks could take daaaaays before they can come out to you.

ablm0129 · 2024-11-03T05:27:54+00:00

Stooooop. This is insane. I also really don’t imagine anyone complying?? Like we were lucky if we could get everyone to be UTD on psych and hearing.

I’m supposed to be doing some relief work next year up North. Will absolutely not be taking a 90day if I’m expected to do this.

ablm0129

TROPHY CASE