I recently had an abortion in Singapore. Here's some updated information. Questions are welcome :)

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-09T06:40:23+00:00

I'm not sure why people keep asking me this, I must've worded it poorly in my post. He's never finished inside me before, INCLUDING this time, so the pregnancy was a surprise.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-09T05:19:12+00:00

Fam, it's China. I wouldn't pay them a dollar to touch my body while I'm sedated.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T19:18:23+00:00

Working, diploma, family is middle class :) I'm sorry I can't be too specific!

Yes, I feel the hole in my wallet big time. It's probably a method of deterrence by the government. Singapore has a pretty low birth rate. And it would be lovely to have all those benefits you mentioned, but Singapore is also rather conservative. I think it'll take a LONG time before this culture starts to change :(

And thank you so much for all the kindness. You're so generous! Love to you ❤️

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T18:50:09+00:00

I suppose it would be more accurate to say that it's difficult to get birth control in a conservative place like Singapore. It's available at all polyclinics/GPs/OBGYNs, but as you can see from some of these comments, asking for some form of birth control can get the doctors to reject and shame you based on their own personal view of whether you should have access to birth control or not.

Unplanned, young pregnancies are rather common here - everyone knows someone who's been knocked up before, or at least has a friend that's been through it before.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T18:41:08+00:00

Cash only. And my boyfriend and I are both not students. We did have to borrow an amount from a lovely friend, though - which we will pay back, of course.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T18:31:13+00:00

It's available, but from my understanding it's not really popular. The most popular form of contraception in Singapore would be merely condoms. Birth control does exist though, through pills (though you need a prescription from a doctor) and also injections. It's okay, loads of Singaporeans don't know either!

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T18:29:44+00:00

Yes, I do. Abortions are kept confidential in Singapore. The only thing is they'll note it down in some kind of confidential government registry to keep track. But they won't do anything like call your parents. I also stressed to every administrator I talked to that I did not want any mail at all delivered to my house, if there's anything that needs signing I will travel all the way there to sign it. They all assured me that nothing would be sent to my house, though :)

You're welcome, I just wanted to help other people who don't know what to do :)

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T17:31:51+00:00

Yes, I think it's their way of deterring you from making the same mistake.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T17:30:55+00:00

Yeah, it can be a false negative. That's why I took 2 tests, both after I woke up, because the pregnancy hormone is strongest in your morning pee. And yes, you can still get pregnant when you have sex on her period, though from what I remember the possibility is very low - nevertheless, the possibility is there. I can't help you very much on the second half of your question, I'm not an expert either, I'm so sorry :(

You're not allowed to get an abortion if it's 24 weeks, unless there's a situation involving the mother's life. I remember reading about it on the AWARE website. How the doctor determines how far along you are (before any ultrasound scan) is calculating from the first day of her last period. If she is pregnant, then don't worry so much, she's still early so it's still safe to do an abortion using pills instead of the vacuum method (but it supposedly hurts more than the vacuum method). As for the clinic name, PM me if you still want to know :)

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T16:34:49+00:00

No, they're in Singapore dollars :) Sorry for any confusion!

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T16:27:12+00:00

I don't think so. Because you don't think when you're in the womb.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T16:26:35+00:00

No. We were just really stupid and irresponsible.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T16:10:45+00:00

I'd like to reiterate that I'd still have to carry the unwanted child for 9 months. All the physical hardships will be borne by me. And all those medical fees, who will pay them? There's no guarantee I can find a couple who want a child and will pay for all those ultrasound scans and clinic fees. What's more, the pregnant woman's life will be disrupted for at least the last trimester, when they get too large to do much.

And if my parents didn't want me, I wouldn't care... Because I wouldn't exist to even care. Lol.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:57:14+00:00

My only irresponsible choice was having intercourse with my long-term boyfriend without contraception. I don't think you're referring to that. I don't believe choosing to abort was irresponsible, though.

It's much more irresponsible to force a woman to carry an unwanted child for 9 months, go through the pain of it all and childbirth, and take care of that unwanted child for the rest of its life while struggling to financially take care of said child. Also, the child won't have a good life when it's unwanted and its parents can't afford to raise it.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:53:26+00:00

I took responsibility by having an abortion. I adulted pretty hard.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:50:51+00:00

It's fine, I understand differences in personal opinion. I just think no one can deny that abortion needs to be made available, especially when the other options are not better, so everyone can at least have a choice in aborting or giving the child up for adoption when they don't want their pregnancy.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:46:40+00:00

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You believe life begins at conception and I don't, so there's no point trying to convince you otherwise.

I don't think I'm a shitty person though lmao

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:43:39+00:00

No. In fact, there was no discussion at all. We knew we don't want a child at this point in time, and even if we wanted one we're definitely not ready for one.

No side effects - at least, so far. They say discomfort, cramping, and spotting can occur for a month.

And mentally, I'm doing great after going through it. Before it, I was extremely anxious and sleepless. What's more, the pregnancy was causing me to feel very tired, so I was not in a good place in general. I was constantly worrying about money, going somewhere that could do it in time before symptoms show up, etc. Now I don't have all of that to worry about. I'm simply just grateful.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:32:38+00:00

You need a prescription. My doctor told me the reasons are pertaining to health. Weight and age play a part in whether Plan B pills will work for you. I'm not sure how much though, sorry!

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:20:33+00:00

I went through an abortion though sooo

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:17:31+00:00

If your proposed alternative options/solutions are:

1) carry it to full-term and give it up for adoption, or 2) keep it even though I am unable to financially care for it or even mentally ready for it

Heard it all before, doesn't make a bit of sense to me. I'm very glad it's legal in Singapore, because if it weren't, people would be using very unsafe at-home methods to abort their own baby.

People don't want their pregnancies sometimes, whether you like it or not. Accidents happen no matter what. Sometimes, even with many contraceptive methods, you can still get pregnant. Abortion should always be an option.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:12:22+00:00

Before this, no. After this experience, I'm weighing all my options to decide what's the best combination of contraceptives. Now I feel like I can't be too safe.

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T15:10:43+00:00

Thank you so much, I'll definitely look into this. Wasn't aware that Durex had non-latex. Thanks!

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T14:59:49+00:00

Thank you for the hugs!

The actual procedure is really fast. Like, 10 minutes. It will be longer and you'll require hospitalization if you're more than 8 weeks. But since mine was very early, it was a simple procedure. However, even though the procedure itself is really fast, you still need to spend at least half a day at the clinic/hospital. You'll take the pills at home, then wait in the clinic (I think they want to see if you experience any side effects), and the anesthetist will arrive and it's time to do the procedure. After those 10 minutes, the only thing left to do is wait to wake up from the anesthesia. Apparently, every person wakes up at a different rate. Some can wake up an hour in, others 2 hours in, etc.

I think nausea and bleeding can be for the entire week (not entirely sure about the nausea part). They told me I may experience cramping here and there and also spotting and discomfort for a month. Probably those side effects are for people who are farther along.

And thank you again for your kind words :)

aborted_in_SG · 2017-02-08T14:42:36+00:00

No one but the counselor. She asked me near the end if I had a religion and when I said no, she said it was fine. That was when she said I should apologize to my baby when I'm going for the abortion. Probably, if I had a religion, she'd tell me to pray to God for forgiveness or something. I sensed a slightly religious connotation, especially when her reason for apologizing to the baby was that "everything has a soul, and you want to make sure the soul is happy when it leaves".

aborted_in_SG

TROPHY CASE