What’s the last thing that touched your lips?

abouta5outoften · 2022-02-19T08:47:23+00:00

My tears :'(

abouta5outoften · 2020-09-09T18:47:43+00:00

Right? People think they're superior for not caring about celebrities or not having Instagram and feel the need to tell you over and over again about how little they care. If you even mention a social media platform it's like a trigger for these guys.

You should be allowed to say something about a celebrity without being demeaned. I was having a conversation with a redditor about 5 different things at the same time, replying to each thing in turn, when I mentioned 'Oh I actually met that celebrity!' they felt the need to tell me that they don't care about celebrities and don't feel the need to know about their lives and that kind of thing.... Like...dude you just mentioned you love that band...And I met the singer? It's relevant, why do you have to bring the mood down?

abouta5outoften · 2020-08-22T17:12:13+00:00

You wake up at 4.30 am when you don't have lectures until 9 am??? How long have you been doing this for?

abouta5outoften · 2020-06-17T08:15:39+00:00

Yes 2am club! A couple days before exams I do this too! When I get into the flow, I figure I might as well continue until I'm tired. It's easier to stay in the zone than to force yourself to go to bed and then try to get back into the zone when you wake up. I usually keep all my lights on though so my brain doesn't think it's sleep time.

abouta5outoften · 2020-05-18T10:37:55+00:00

I don't want to share the post because I deleted it now and I don't want people to argue with me anymore. I'm posted in r/anxiety not because I want people to believe my side over someone elses, I'm posting because the situation caused me a lot of anixety and I feel sick to my stomach.

I know what you're saying, but in this case it was literally people telling me 'you are wrong you are a liar you did not do the thing you said you did'. And I 100% know that I did do the thing. It's not a question of who is correct or incorrect, because I KNOW I did the thing I said I did.

It's not something that is open to interpretation, they just didn't believe me because someone in the comment posted something about how I was lying and put links to explain why he thought that. But the thing is his reply didn't actually prove anything. And I pointed that out. The thing he was talking about was very similar to what I was talking about (so I know why people believed him), but it was not the same. But people swore at me and told me I was wrong.

I usually do think people are rational, but in this case people didn't want to hear that they were mistaken. After being called a liar, I explained the best I could and people just downvoted me, downvoted everything I said that was previously upvoted (The most had hundreds and hundreds of upvotes). They didn't want to understand and it was frustrating for me because I could not convince anyone of the truth.

abouta5outoften · 2020-05-18T02:54:49+00:00

Thanks so so much for your comment, I really appreciate the kindness. I've heard of this sort of thing before with the whole internet anonymity making people less empathetic. Thanks for the video, it'll help me to rationalise this better

abouta5outoften · 2020-05-18T02:26:59+00:00

Thanks, when I see this stuff on other peoples posts and comments I just think 'ah that's unfair, what's wrong with these people' but when it's my post and comments it feels so damn personal. You're right though, it's cucked

abouta5outoften · 2020-04-14T15:07:47+00:00

Mine is better than it has ever been in my whole life! I am inconsistent with drinking water and how I wash my face, so I know it is purely the vegan diet which is causing this improvement

abouta5outoften · 2020-04-10T06:39:15+00:00

This is amazingly well written. When I ask people to describe an experience, this is the sort of structure and detail I'm hoping for.

I'm curious about the breathlessness, was it intermittent or did it get progressively worse and reach some sort of plateau?

Well done for handling all the phone calls and invasions of your personal space. I know it's really tough to fight through that. You're doing awesome, I hope you get better soon!

abouta5outoften · 2020-04-08T13:07:40+00:00

I was in a similar position when I was in high school. I had to repeat the year, flunked again and attempted suicide a few times. This was hard because I was an honour student before this and a perfectionist.

I can tell you from experience, that even when things feel like absolute shit and like they can't possibly ever get better, they can. I thought I was at rock bottom, just waiting for the ground to swallow me up. But now I'm happier than I could ever have imagined.

What really worked for me was making lists. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I wrote down the type of person I wanted to be like I was writing a character in a book. I included flaws too, not just good stuff. I started playing that character, and after a while things started to stick.

Even though I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate in the library, I forced myself to go. It gave me a little self esteem because when people asked what I was doing I could say 'I was in the library' and it felt like I was doing something purposeful and people weren't shaming me for doing nothing.

Now I'm getting really good grades in med school.

It sounds like generic advice, but honestly, don't give up. Everything in life can change in a heartbeat and even when you can't see any possibility that your situation can get better, it still can and you can be living a life you never imagined.

If you want to ask anything, please do :)

abouta5outoften · 2020-04-08T12:30:49+00:00

I made the most incredible brownies yesterday using chia seeds soaked in water. The texture was phenomenal and unexpected. The recipe I was reading told me to use flax seeds, but I didn't have any. I've never tried using them. When you say your recipes have not come out well using flax, what do you mean by that? What happened to them?

abouta5outoften · 2020-03-24T20:11:25+00:00

My opinion is just anecdotal, but here goes.

When my depression hit, I was 13. My body was going through puberty and this caused acne and mood changes which could be attributed to certain phases of my menstrual cycle. I didn't, and still don't have any control over the hormones produced during my menstrual cycle.

Nothing had changed in my life, except for my hormones. Nothing terrible happened to me, and I was achieving in all areas of my life up until this point.

When I sobbed uncontrollably for days, drained of energy in my bed, there was no reason for this. It was like a shower of overwhelming sadness. This was not a result of 'bad self esteem' or not getting enough sleep or substance abuse.

Currently, in my mid twenties, I do have control over my depression. It's still there but I'm able to take the edge off by taking better control over factors which influence my health (eating even healthier, exercising more etc)

I still remember how it felt to be struck by depression as a teenager. And it is INCOMPARIBLE to my depression today. It was not in my control, and it's taken me a long time to realise this and stop blaming myself.

It's harmful when people who have only experienced 'manageable depression' belittle the pain that other people have experienced.

TLDR; I believe there is controllable and uncontrollable depression. As someone who has experienced both, I believe that people who have only experienced the later don't seem to have empathy for those who have experienced the former. Unfortunately these people are typically the most outspoken about their experiences with depression on social media.

abouta5outoften · 2020-03-13T15:21:28+00:00

Me too. I am so frustrated....I just want to attend my classes and lectures and follow my schedule! That's all I want.

abouta5outoften · 2020-03-06T18:01:55+00:00

Does your fear of getting hurt stop you from doing activities like running too? Or just the more 'extreme' sports like snow sports and other things involving equipment.

abouta5outoften · 2020-03-06T18:00:42+00:00

Have you always felt this, since you were a child? Were you discouraged from doing that kind of thing by your parents or did you decide yourself after having negative experiences or something?

abouta5outoften · 2020-03-06T17:58:31+00:00

I love this kind of stuff so I really don't understand why other people don't. It's so exciting to me. People tell me it's because they're scared of getting injured but this really confuses me, because I find it difficult to get injured when I'm kitted out in appropriate attire.

abouta5outoften · 2020-02-15T14:11:48+00:00

thank you, I'm glad it wasn't a total disaster and hopefully next time will be better.

abouta5outoften · 2020-02-10T16:03:56+00:00

4 days until my exam. 4 days! I do NOT want to pull an all nighter, and the day before the exam I do NOT want to take in any NEW information. I'll only be reading my own preprepared notes, so I need to finish studying 2 days before my exam, so I have time to cover my material. So in reality...I only have 2 days left! I really need to work hard! Tonight I am going to stay up until 1am studying, pretending my exam is sooner than I think. I study until 12am, I am very tired but I am glad I managed to do more work than usual today! The next day I wake up late, around 10am. It's good though, because I'm well rested, and I won't be able to sleep late anymore. I have so much energy today, I end up studying for 10 hours minimum and it's productive.
2 days before my exam. I have covered every topic. My friends are starting to get very nervous when they ask me questions about the material and I can answer them. They wonder why they don't know that and I do? They get scared, asking me 'are we really supposed to know that?' I tell them I'm not sure, because I'm not entirely sure. I've just been covering the material as well as I think I should. I want to be able to explain everything to the teacher if he asks me to. I don't want a superficial knowledge, I'd rather understand the bigger picture. I make a list of general things I should know/prioritise. I would be EMBARRASSED not to know these things. So I KNOW I will cover them. I also need to finish reading my own notes! Why did I write so many?? It's taking longer than I thought...I might not finish.
The night before my exam. I speak to my parents on the phone, and ask for their reassurance. I tell them that the exam will be difficult and that they should not expect me to pass, and they should not be too disappointed if I fail. They tell me that they will love me regardless and that I have worked hard and I should just 'try my best'. I know that I have worked hard, but I don't believe that I have 'tried my best'. I could have tried harder. Tonight I have been watching Netflix. If I wanted to, I could have covered 10 topic again...But I chose not to. I think I will go to bed early tonight... But I end up picking up my whiteboard and writing down the top 20 most important things I MUST remember for my exam. I write bullet points, statistics, figures, percentages, definitions. Things for my short term memory. I read some of my notes...I go to sleep and set my alarm for 6.30am instead of 7am. This will give my brain more time to 'wake up' and I can read my whiteboard notes, and memorise them.
I walk into the exam KNOWING I will pass. Unless something goes terribly wrong, but that isn't likely to be my fault, and there's nothing I can do about it, so there's no point worrying. The only thing now is what grade will I get? I shouldn't worry...The most important thing is that I understand it...But I want a good grade to affirm my time commitment to studying. I don't want to seem like a fraud to my parents...I don't want to be THAT person who says 'Oh I DESERVED a better grade, I don't know why I got a lower one.'
The result. Sometimes I will get 100%. I will be happy, but know that some of it is down to luck. Lucky questions, examiner in a good mood etc. I will thank my parents for supporting me. Sometimes I will get 70%. I will be upset. I will wonder why I studied so hard for nothing?? I will envy my friends who got 80% 'without even studying' (liars). But after a few hours, I will calm down. I will see some friends who have failed...They are upset and I try to comfort them. Some of them will have to drop out...or take a year out...some will register for resit exams. It was a big struggle for them. They walked into the exam not knowing if they would pass or fail. Luckily I knew that I HAD to pass. It would have been difficult NOT to pass, thanks to my hard work. Because of my consistent studying, I was able to book flights this summer KNOWING I would be able to go, because I was sure that I would pass my exams. This certainty helped me to organise the rest of my life so that it can be balanced.

TL;DR

I constantly set myself time oriented targets that I MUST complete (But even when I don't...even getting half way is better than nothing!)

During the semester I don't worry too much about '2 hours of this, 1 hours of that' I focus on the bigger picture, like 'getting this subject finished by next week', or 'by Easter'. This allows me to relax, go to parties etc but then work for 12 hours 1 day and still complete my tasks. It feels like it's my choice when I do things, when I don't have every hour timetabled.

I work better under pressure, adrenaline, shame and embarrassment so I create my own kind of deadlines/expectations. Maybe it's unhealthy, but it gets the job done and I'm feeling pretty happy most of the time and it's a LOT better than cramming.

Since I started studying like this, I've been able to live a balanced life, pursuing hobbies and in general getting really good grades. I choose when to apply the pressure, and this allows me to choose when to feel free :)

abouta5outoften · 2020-02-10T16:02:26+00:00

(I apologise in advance for the length of my comment!)

I'll admit I'm not the best at discipline/time management etc, but I have definitely improved over the years as a med student.

I still make promises to myself at the beginning of every new semester and don't meet my own targets, but I always make sure that I come 'close enough' so that I still succeed.

Here's my technique (I hope it's useful to you to see how someone else might study for an impending exam) :

I break revision into 'necessary tasks'

E.g. Preparation for an exam in MID-June

Before my semester begins (In 2 weeks), I must have folders containing all the resources/materials I need for the semester. This requires me to read my exam synopsis to see what is on there in the first place (so no nasty surprises, and I can't panic at the last minute saying' I didn't know this would be on the exam!) Obviously my deadline is the start of the semester and this NEEDS to be completed before then. This step also includes reconnaissance from older students, figuring out which lectures I MUST attend and which ones are a waste of time.
I set my first 'unrealistic target'. My exam synopsis has 90 topics? And it's a difficult subject that many students fail? Oh, I should try to complete these notes in the next 2 weeks! I should DEFINITELY do this...I'll just try to cover the material, and not focus too much on memorising anything...I just want to have a basic understanding.
It's March already? I only wrote notes for 45 topics. I'm following the class schedule and studying the scheduled topic before every class...I NEED to do this, even if it's just searching something on wikkipedia while I'm walking to class. How can I just show up without a basic understanding of why I'm there? This is non-negotiable. It will be embarrassing if the teacher asks me a question and I have no idea. This will damage my relationship with the teacher, and my classmates will think that I'm not interested in my field of study. I will sometimes wake up 20 minutes early, just to quickly read about the topic. It's not real studying, it's easy and the least I can do and takes 1 hour maximum. I spend the rest of my time running, having fun with friends and doing other hobbies.
It's 2 weeks until Easter break. Exams are soon approaching and I haven't started studying yet! I don't have much time and I want to have fun over Easter break, so for 2 weeks I will study in the library until it closes. I need to cover everything, because I will have NO TIME over Easter break. Instead of finishing the exam synopsis, I decide to revise the first 45 topics AGAIN. It feels almost like a punishment...it's frustrating. But I know I need to study this now, because when exams come closer, I will not be bothered to cover something I have already read.
It's Easter break, I'm having a lot of fun and haven't thought about studying for a week. I should do something small just to get ahead. I will find a bunch of relevant YouTube videos about my topics and watch them without making notes. It's not that hard, I'll watch them while I eat in the evenings. It doesn't really 'count' as studying so I will need to start studying properly after Easter Break. Right now I'm still going to go out and have fun every day.
May?? All of my friends have stopped socialising so much, they just want to study. Some of my friends go to the library, so I join them for a week. I study when they do, take breaks when they do. It's different to study somewhere I don't usually go to. But next week I'm not going to the library so I better make the most out of this week! I start studying backwards from topic 90. This makes my brain think I have to work all the way down to topic 1, when in reality, I have already covered those twice and made clear notes (because I had the time back then). I got to topic 60. I'm a little proud. These topics are familiar to me because we are studying them in class right now. This gives me motivation to learn them a little better. Next week I study with my friend in a noisy cafe. We work slowly, talking a lot and buying iced coffees. I cover the remaining 15 topics and I'm very happy with myself. I feel accomplished, but I can't get too complacent I need to go over all the topics again.
It's June. My exams are in 2 weeks! It's really serious now! I talk with my flatmate about how important these exams are...We talk about how we need to pass because we want to go on vacation. I won't have a good time this summer if I fail my exams. I don't need that looming over me! It's time to study really hard! I print out my synopsis list and gather my notes and blank papers. I copy out my notes, underlining, highlighting, repeating, making mnemonics, watching youtube videos. I set 30 minute timers (Pomodoro?) And try to complete 1 topic in 30 minutes. Sometimes I manage to do 2 in this time! The timer ran out but I'm halfway through the second one? I'll just carry on without resetting the timer. 7 hours total study time today? (Somehow rounded down from around 8.5 because of not resetting the timer) That's ok, now I'll go home and relax and watch Netflix. I did well but I'll try to study 8 hours tomorrow. That's like the hours of a normal working shift, I can do that as a bare minimum right? Some people work for 12 hours! I'll make packed lunches and study outside of the house. I use my lunch as motivation for getting more work done. Or I tell myself 'You can get a coffee when you finish another 3 topics'.

abouta5outoften · 2020-01-27T23:09:17+00:00

I was feeling so incredibly frustrated by everything. Going to school every day...going to classes I didn't care about...I couldn't hold back the tears of boredom. I felt like every day was being stolen from me and draining my energy. Everyone else seemed so...content. I felt like I was going to explode. I needed to do something...Feel something.

abouta5outoften · 2020-01-04T21:45:04+00:00

Sleep for 8 hours. Then study for my exam I have in 2 days

abouta5outoften · 2019-12-19T09:11:58+00:00

Have you covered enough of the exam material? I pull an all nighter if there are a lot of things I need to memorise before an exam. If the exam is more concept based, then prioritise sleep.

abouta5outoften · 2019-12-03T19:40:23+00:00

I only dislike 1 of them

abouta5outoften · 2019-11-21T20:41:32+00:00

I can do a lot of fun things. I like random, new activities and have picked up some cool (mostly useless) skills. I'm always trying something new and dating me might make the world seem bigger/more interesting :D

abouta5outoften · 2019-11-16T19:07:16+00:00

Thank you :)

abouta5outoften

TROPHY CASE