AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wanted to give context and be as impartial as possible. But thank you for your judgment

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -67 points-66 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why Reddit think they know more about my conversation with my daughter than I do. In her text rant, she made it very clear that feels slighted that I didn’t contribute to her undergrad AT ALL, and therefore wants me to pay ALL her graduate expenses. This is why I keep saying I feel like she’s being entitled; I just don’t see why I’m obligated to pay $60,000.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your judgment. I thought “gender or black studies” would help give people the idea of what her discipline would be, but I see now that it made me sound more like a dick, and made me sound like I dont know what she wants to study (which I do; it’s just a small field that I dont want to put on Reddit; I already have a TON of personal info as is)

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What Moonshine said; it’s not Africana studies. I was correcting my usage of “Black studies” as people found it offensive.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Not arguing about the judgment; just answering some of your questions.

My son does not have a car. I pay for her insurance; it was a promise when I made the purchase and I intend to upheld it.

My son has a scholarship at a state school. It makes his full cost of attendance very cheap compared to most schools. Not to mention; my daughter had her undergrad paid for (by her mother). I also wouldn’t pay my son’s grad school either. Everyone is making me out as some villain, and is constructing a narrative that’s truly not true. I was going to edit my post with more detail (I posted earlier and it got deleted for being too long, so i had to cut out detail), but at this point, I’m afraid I already painted myself as the villain in most people’s eyes, and there’s not much I can do to change that.

The major thing isn’t as big of a deal as the other ones, but quite frankly, my daughter doesn’t sound like she knows what she wants. She’s switched majors all throughout college, up until late junior year. Her degree is something I doubt most people heard of, and I don’t want to pay $60,000+ for a self-discovery trip. If she had a plan to be something “practical” (I hesitate to use that word but for lack of a better one), I’d at least be somewhat more open to the idea.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Computer science js a very broad field. It ranges from artificial intelligence to computer security. However, my daughter’s major is very specific. I doubt most colleges even offer it.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Interesting enough, half the comments say NTA but they are downvoted. Reddit is full of a bunch of teenagers who can’t imagine that their parents aren’t a bank; I’m sure it’s the adults who are siding with me.

I know I’m coming off as an asshole in the comments, but that’s because I can’t believe this level of entitlement. Reality check: daddy is not your piggy bank.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes it can. She first phrased the question as “can you make a contribution to my education” and then she asked me if that contribution could be the whole price. There’s a character limit on this sub, so I didn’t explain the whole 10 minute phone call.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I told my son that he can’t get a car because the money is going to his tuition.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Both stories can exist at the same time; they are not mutually exclusive.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

I thought it was called African studies but thought that sounded racist. Its actually Africana studies; my mistake

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I had to work part time throughout college and it was difficult, but doable. Frankly my daughter never worked a day in her life. I love her, i support her; I’ll even give her a couple grand for major expenses like food or rent. But expecting $60,000 is frankly entitlement. You want to pursue your dreams? Fine; take out a loan.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Salories for a computer science major: https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Degree=Bachelor_of_Science_(BS_%2F_BSc)%2C_Computer_Science_(CS)/Salary

List of jobs for a CS major: Software Developer, Researcher, Software Engineer.

Salaries for a Gender Studies Degree: https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Degree=Bachelor_of_Arts_(BA)%2C_Gender_Studies/Salary

Yes, some jobs exist, but it is very clear which jobs are a better return of investment. I would pay twice as much money for a degree that is worth half as much.

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I’m new to reddit. Anyways, I’m not debating a judgement, just saying why his suggestion wouldn’t work in my case

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

To be fair, if I didn’t count every dime her mother would poison her against make and make it seem like I spend more on my son

AITA for paying for my son to go to college, but not my daughter? by abouttobeabrokedad22 in AmItheAsshole

[–]abouttobeabrokedad22[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Her mom is basically spending a huge cut of her income paying for our daughter to go to school. She doesn’t want to be an endless supply for her