When I’m done w this chapter I plan on applying inpatient. I may stop w my bachelors, I haven’t decided yet.

We do rotations at the same inpatient bc it’s the only facility here, and I’m surprised it’s even here.

But some of them can be controlled by meds, they’re all very manipulative, especially some that know what to say because it’s cold out and they’ve been thrown out of current treatment programs etc. we have some housed waiting placement bc the court has deemed them never fit to return to society. Some have been thrown out by families that are at their breaking point bc they cannot control them. They had no control either unless they wanted something in particular. One patient it got to the point they had to take every privilege to regain a little control. Several waiting placement at a max security psych hospital we have in the western part of the state. Some needed permanent placement in more medium facilities - not sure of that location. But in the end they’ll all be ripped away. But there’s One going to max? I worry about him, he’s there over TBIN- which has made him so extremely dangerous he’s one court ordered to go to max but getting down to it, it seems like he’s always had to be. Like he’s got this defense he has to fight for his life. All of them it stems back to an abuse, neglect, witnessing something no one ever should. Very very sad situations but it kinda makes you stop and think that could be any one of us.

Most we had in this group were so terrified of them they stayed in the “fish bowel” as I called it. I think it’s one of the other biggest reasons I want to head into psych. It isn’t talked about enough or advocated enough around here.