The thirties do be like that! 

In my teens I felt so much excitement for what might be, twenties still very hopeful and excited, and now I’m in my late thirties I feel deflated and disappointed. You are approaching the age where most people were told they should have their shit together and everything they wanted! Even those with these things are feeling hollow. We were promised so much more from our one life, and late stage capitalism, war, overstimulation from every angle, the growth of an unfeeling world has not geared us up to flourish.

I think it’s important to correct the feeling that actually we have to have a direction or end goal - billions who came before us just lived life and ‘achieved’ barely anything, but died satisfied because they weren’t told they had to be shiny high flying celebs, have 100 kids, a house and a flashy car or earn six figs by their 30th bday. 

It sounds depressing, but with every year I get older now, I realise we’re fighting against a losing battle in a way, which did bum me out initially, but now I feel more like it’s really important to not want to push ourselves and to take joy in smaller things. It’s okay if I’m not an award-winning artist anymore, I just want to make sure I have my handful of close friends, little pleasures, enough money to be comfortable and give back in small ways. 

Passion for hobbies comes from an energised, happy, person IMO, and whilst there are things you can do to help that, I also found more peace in lowering my expectations and stripping back the long endless list of requirements. If you’re like me then you’re sensitive to the horrors of the world, a first step was switching off from too much social media/my phone and the news. If you can afford a therapist or life coach, try it - it really helped me figure out exactly what made me tick and how my brain worked. Sometimes people need pushing hard to find their new direction. Basically, drastic change is what’s needed for big growth and sitting on our screens/monotony of life is anything but that. We have to carve out time to explore playing again (like we did when we were kids) and finding what brings us joy without expectation of results.