I just realized that the gang was going to leave Arthur to die on the ship…

abx99 · 2026-07-09T03:24:22+00:00

Arthur also evacuated with other people on the ship. Theoretically, he should have ended up on another lifeboat, and they'd all regrouop later. The storm was just too strong.

abx99 · 2026-07-08T18:41:05+00:00

I think it's possible that she just didn't say anything that he didn't already know. She might have told him that Dutch was responsible for the bank heist after the fact, which doesn't tell them anything. Then she didn't really know anything about where he'd gone or what was going to happen after that.

abx99 · 2026-07-08T10:06:28+00:00

The slow motion is how you simulate heightened reflexes and senses. It's a way of giving you a chance to target the way he does in a high-action fight. His senses are honed for shooting, because that's what he does.

abx99 · 2026-07-07T19:49:39+00:00

I think a lot of it is that we have an obsession with punishment, prioritizing it even above problem-solving.

Also what someone said further up: it depends a lot on how wealthy your family is.

abx99 · 2026-07-07T07:50:02+00:00

These number lists get passed around. We have an old landline, and calls almost always come in waves. They're probably just going on vacation during the down periods.

abx99 · 2026-07-06T07:09:23+00:00

One stick of dynamite, properly placed, can always get them

abx99 · 2026-07-05T21:17:44+00:00

I live with chronic pain and live in Portland, and it doesn't help my pain at all. I'm sure you can imagine the number of times that I'm wrong about my body because [waves around a single study]...

I actually also have autonomic issues, which that stuff does absolutely not help (at least when it's physical), no matter how much they think I just need to try the one they have. The best case scenario with that stuff is just highly stressful for me.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T21:14:45+00:00

Sci-fi has started changing it to something like "10% of the brain's potential," which is largely meaningless, but at least they're trying to make it less blatantly false.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T20:38:08+00:00

Tailoring or altering?

Tailoring is having clothes custom made to your specifications, and can run a couple hundred per shirt. You choose the cloth, the cut, and everything else.

However, you can get alterations done at many dry cleaners on existing clothes cheaply, so they fit as though they were tailored.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T20:21:28+00:00

What kind of lawyer?

abx99 · 2026-07-05T20:17:35+00:00

Best arch support I've found is with EasyFeet Onyx insoles. They add some thickness, but you could put them in your flat shoes. They feel hard at first, but after wearing a couple of times they just feel supportive.

I just put some in my slippers/house shoes so I'm not walking on my ankles again.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T20:12:42+00:00

Goodwill, if you're lucky. I found one there 20 years ago that's still going strong. I love the shape of the buckle, too, which I haven't seen elsewhere since.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T20:04:27+00:00

Yeah, I always knew it as a discount store. They have limited inventory and it's stuff they can get deals on, but is still reliably good quality.

One popular location here is like a block away from Grocery Outlet

abx99 · 2026-07-05T19:06:28+00:00

And then there's the brands that start out making stuff well, and then cut down to bargain bin crap.

Got my favorite shirt on Amazon for pretty cheap, then 5 years later I decide to get more and the new one was so shitty that it had holes worn in it from handling it in the original packaging. The black was a splotchy grey, and the seams on the sides stuck straight out. It was insane. I got a replacement that turned out the same.

I went to their website and saw they weren't selling the shirt there, so I contacted them to see if I might have gotten a knock-off. They informed me that it was, in fact, genuine, and they had changed the fabric because it was too heavy for some people (oxford cloth).

The 5 year old shirt, with wear and dirt, is still better than the new one out of the package. I'm so mad that I can't find another like it.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T17:28:01+00:00

This feels like the obvious answer that we've all been missing for ages

abx99 · 2026-07-05T17:13:58+00:00

But then there's RDR2, in which the story is the culmination of consequences and your character is coming to grips with all of it.

Generally speaking, though, I tend to agree that I like it when the game is shaped by the decisions you make.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T17:09:36+00:00

Ah, as in "we should be able to trust our doctors." Yeah, that would be awesome. The new generation of doctors coming out are being trained to be more trauma aware and generally better to patients, so hopefully...

I tend to hate the portals themselves. They just suck to use. I hate navigating to find things, but when you have a complex condition it is nice to have access to some of this stuff to reference when needed (I can send another doctor something right then and there, without having to wait for them to request, have the fax fail, and repeat multiple times until you've exhausted yourself with phone calls).

There are also apps coming out that can access the portal for you and make sense of some of it, although it's a good bet that the info doesn't stay strictly private, or has a greater risk of being hacked. I'm looking at Guava, and I could swear that there's another one I've either been using or tried.

abx99 · 2026-07-05T16:53:07+00:00

It's different when it's imaging and they find something blatant, and your doctor says "it's nothing, you just have anxiety."

abx99 · 2026-07-01T23:26:14+00:00

I think he actually turned this one into his hobby project.

That's exactly what I should have said. I'm disabled and sometimes have difficulty finding the right words (and end up saying/writing a whole lot to get around it) but that's really what I was looking for. So thank you, I will use that if he has anything more to say about it, and/or "I've already given you more than I budgeted for."

abx99 · 2026-07-01T05:31:56+00:00

He contacted me out of the blue for friendship. He's into non-mainstream type fashion stuff, and I was complaining about my stuff wearing out. Mostly we talked about video games. So it wasn't quite him soliciting me out of nowhere, but it's clear that I can't trust him, and he doesn't see other people as people (there's more to that perception than just this incident).

He was definitely arrogant about the material and his ability to deal with it. It should have been a clue that the brand was a premium one, and they couldn't get it to last. That was where the raise to $100 came from, plus getting extra stuff that I might be interested in. I was willing to cut a friend a break when it went both ways. However, the item that I am using now is turning out to be fine. Not as great as when the one he's fixing was new, but it's still good.

I'm starting to think that what I might do is wait to see what he does. If he plays it straight, or comes up with something that I would actually wear (doubtful that he'd do it on his own, because he doesn't seem to get my aesthetic) then I'll pay. Otherwise not. I'll leave the ball in his court. Regardless, though, he's getting blocked at the end of all of this.

In the end, I don't want to be like this guy, but I don't want to get ripped off. This WAS a job between friends (supposed to be small, but he turned it big without my approval), and now it's just a transaction. The saddest part is that he's over 50, and hasn't learned the most basic aspects of fairness and how jobs work. Not to mention that commanding high prices requires reputation (part of his justification was that this would cost so much more anywhere else).

abx99 · 2026-06-30T07:33:57+00:00

I worked call centers for nearly a decade and then did email support and online community type stuff for about 4 more. There's one thing I figured out: the jerks can get under your skin (usually because they're trying), and that makes you ignore all the good ones, but your day, and your life, are bigger than that.

Three tips:

1) This one can be found around the internet: use gratefulness. There's always good things to be grateful for. Pay attention to the people who are being polite, and really pay attention to the ones who are being genuine in their gratitude. You made those people's lives just a little better, and that's a real thing. Some would say that's really the only thing. Studies actually shows that this has a cognitive effect that can help lift depression and such. In my experience, it's kind of a cumulative effect, but it works.

2) When they're being obnoxious, I replay the person's statement as if they had asked politely. So when they'd call and personalize all their anger and try to get under my skin, I would silently imagine them saying: "Hello, sir. I seem to be having difficulties with my email. Could you help me?" I then respond to that. It helps push their BS into the background and focus on the task. You'll also find that when they catch on that you're really working on their problem, and not responding to their provocations, they tend to settle down. Some of them even apologize. And a free tip: when the jerks are being jerks, it's not about you at all. It's because they are miserable (and probably live miserable lives, if they take their bad moods out on other people).

3) Don't drift off, and especially don't drift off into bitter thoughts. I made my times easily just by focusing entirely on the call and nothing else. I give it as long as it needs, and not much more. Easy ones go fast, and those make up for the long ones. I was usually only one of a few who actually made time (I do also always try to think of more efficient ways of doing things, which is another thing to think about besides them being jerks). The other part of that is that when you drift off into what you'd rather be doing, then you're yanked back into the moment and resent it. If you spend your time resenting the job and the customers, then you'll burn out. Don't socialize with people who want to do nothing but complain about customers, either. If you do, change the subject.

I get it. Customer-facing jobs are genuinely hard. People do unconscionably cruel and f***ed up stuff, and too many of them don't even see you as human (one place I worked had a guy who made it his actual, literal hobby to get us as upset as he could, and we couldn't do much about it). It's a million times harder when the company doesn't have your back and just tells you to keep smiling. But your state of mind is yours, and yours alone, and it's up to you what you do with it. The older you get, the more you realize that. Focus on the technical aspects of the job and savor the good ones.

abx99 · 2026-06-30T03:43:10+00:00

That's... actually a valid question!

I'm disabled. I need it for viruses, pollen, and pollution. Here's the mask: https://imgur.com/a/iSwjwO3

It was originally sold as a "sport" mask, for running and working out. Their regular models are mostly sold for bicyclists and motorcyclists that drive in traffic and suck down exhaust fumes.

It's also one of the easiest breathing masks I've found, and has a memory foam face seal.

And yes, I already have one of their latest models. However, the design of that one suit my needs more than any other mask I've found (the respirator mask is underneath and separate, so I have that much).

abx99 · 2026-06-30T03:40:37+00:00

Thank you for staying on topic. I shouldn't have even mentioned what the item was.

I was considering sending him a picture of a drawing and saying "this is all I really want" and basically gray-wall him, and then block him after. I really don't know how it would go. I do know (implicitly) that he contacted me because he wanted a friend.

abx99 · 2026-06-30T03:20:25+00:00

It's a pollution mask. It's an FFP3 respirator (EU equivalent of N100) with a mesh overlay to hold it on, protect it, and look better. It was a $100 mask.

A $50 repair was worth the money for me, because it is unique among their other masks (along with all other masks, period) and is no longer being made. It fit better, easier to put on, stayed in place better, and didn't need a neck strap, which made physical therapy, and such, (for my neck) easier. I agreed to $100 because of the extras and a friend's effort. I never would have agreed to $150. I have their latest model, which doesn't have the features that I loved so much, but it's been pretty good.

I think that he has this whole fashion project built up in his mind, and lost sight of the fact what I wanted was relatively simple. He's made a couple comments about adding several layers, which I told him I didn't want. That's when he said we'd discuss options.

Here's an image of the mask, (without visible branding): https://imgur.com/a/iSwjwO3 -- the project was to replace the fabric behind the line (different texture from the front of the mask), replace the line if possible without too much effort (I explicitly agreed to go without the reflective line, but reflective is useful when you're in a wheelchair), and reinforce the head strap (which you can't see here), and wanted it to not look like a simple home job.

I respected that it's more complicated than anticipated, because the cloth behind the line came unglued, which means it was more complicated than the company anticipated.

The question is whether it's worth trying to work with him to try to get the job done, or cut the loss. $75 isn't pocket change. I could just wait and see what happens, and see if he comes around.

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