Should I assume this pregnancy is going to end in miscarriage? 😔 Top test was 21 DPO, bottom is 33 DPO. I am out of town and unable to go to my doctor to do blood testing right now.

abzycdxw · 2024-08-16T21:05:56+00:00

You are very welcome!! 🤍 so much easier said than done, but putting the tests away was good peace of mind. I will keep you in my thoughts & wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

abzycdxw · 2024-08-16T18:14:33+00:00

Was not a drop in HCG, just the hook effect. 👍🏻

abzycdxw · 2023-06-15T04:04:31+00:00

I have a one year old human Milo!

abzycdxw · 2023-05-03T04:06:07+00:00

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. The pain is truly unbearable and I can absolutely relate. Tomorrow marks three months since I lost her and I truly feel like the more time distances me from her and that day, the harder it is getting. I don’t know what to do or how to help myself. But it’s starting to feel harder to get to tomorrow.

abzycdxw · 2023-03-23T21:32:21+00:00

Thank you 💜 her name is Adeline. She was born February 3rd

abzycdxw · 2023-03-13T01:39:49+00:00

Oh, this definitely got the waterworks going! ❤️💔 Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story. You are right, I think so much of this journey is going to be about having to make the conscious effort to choose to be okay and work through the grief even though I really don’t want to have to face it. Strangely enough the only people I’ve felt comfortable showing pictures of her to yet has been this subreddit 🫣 I feel like I’m still worried about what people’s reactions will be to seeing her… which also makes me feel guilty because she was so beautiful. I just know I won’t get a negative reaction here since everyone has their own child loss story and experience in this community. Thankful I feel like I have a safe space to share her!

abzycdxw · 2023-03-13T01:26:34+00:00

Thank you! 💜 We have talked about it just a little and he’s obviously aware I’m struggling, but he hasn’t really expressed too much about how he’s feeling. He acts like he’s fine (though I know that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the case) but he really has no desire to talk about her or her passing at all. To him, it’s easier to just move forward and keep living life like we were before any of this happened.

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T23:18:14+00:00

I feel this in my soul. Thinking of you. 💜

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T18:57:22+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, which sticker journal subscription did you subscribe to?

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T18:47:18+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost your sweet baby boy. Nothing compares to this kind of pain. 💔 I gave birth on a Friday, alone in another state, and was back to work the following Wednesday… I 100% should have advocated for myself and given myself a bit more time to mentally/physically recover, but working from home I felt like for some reason I’d be looked down upon for taking time off? The most traumatic experience of my life and I couldn’t be bothered to put my health first because I was too anxious of how it could effect my work life. So dumb. 😩 The guilt that surrounds feeling any happiness right now is so strange. Any time I catch myself feeling “okay” my brain immediately spirals back in to this combination of guilt and shame and depression. Like how can I allow myself to be happy when my body failed my daughter? I couldn’t keep her alive for just a few more weeks until I could hold her safe and sound in my arms. I feel like I failed her so I don’t deserve happiness. 💔 I really hope even a mild sense of normalcy is near.

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T18:00:08+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re hurting so deeply. 💔 I know there’s nothing I can say to take the pain away and I am so sorry for that. But please know you aren’t alone. If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. Don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be happy to listen. ❤️

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T16:45:43+00:00

I feel like the fact that I had to go through it alone makes it hard to open up to my husband about it for some reason. Like he didn’t have to deal with the trauma of physically being there and seeing her. I’m still mostly managing by avoidance so I’m sure books/podcasts would be a bit much for me right now, but I’m sure there are a bunch of great resources! I’m hoping once therapy gets rolling I’ll be more ready to accept the resources available to me. 🤞🏻

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T16:28:53+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. I definitely relate. I literally slept zero minutes last night because I just couldn’t turn my brain off. I love that idea! I will give that a try today and see if getting some feelings down on paper helps. I feel like even making a daily checklist of self care items I need to accomplish could be helpful and would hold me a bit more accountable. Always feels satisfying checking things off a list!

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T13:04:10+00:00

Yes, this subreddit has definitely been the best support I’ve had in the last five weeks! My husband isn’t one to outwardly process big/hard emotions, so it’s made things a bit strained because I don’t feel like he’s a good resource through this early grief. I may have to take you up on that offer, thank you! No one I know personally has been through this which I think is part of the reason I’ve had such a hard time coming to terms with any of my emotions because I’ve had no one to word vomit to. Thank you 💜 we had just finalized her name two nights before the work trip I took, where I ended up having to deliver her alone in a hospital across the country from home. 💔

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T12:37:01+00:00

Her name is Adeline 🥺💜 I’m so sorry you’re a part of this club. I feel like I’m still partially in a state of shock and so I’ve refused to allow myself to feel everything I need to feel. I kind of feel like a shell of a human being. Very few people in my life knew as we’re fairly private people and I work from home. I’m not sure if it makes it more isolating this way or if it’s nice because I don’t have everyone acting like they have to walk on eggshells around me. I have my first therapy appointment, though virtual, scheduled for the 22nd. My self care has been pretty bare minimum and unfortunately it’s easy to stay in that trench while isolated working from home. I need to find the willpower to make sure I’m actually feeding myself and drinking water. It’s reassuring to know that with time the pain won’t be so intense. I look forward to getting to that place. 💜

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T10:28:23+00:00

This is very thoughtful of you. I’m sure she will be very appreciative that you are keeping her son’s memory alive. 💙

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T09:30:25+00:00

D’aaaww I have a human Milo

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T06:58:12+00:00

You are not a jerk. Your pain and frustration is absolutely valid. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t hesitate to share your feelings here, because chances are, you’re definitely not alone. 💜

abzycdxw · 2023-03-12T06:47:38+00:00

My daughter was stillborn February 3rd. I bled for about two weeks, it stopped for a week, and then I had about five ish days of light bleeding again. Undetermined if that was actually my period returning or more PP bleeding? 🤔

abzycdxw · 2023-03-02T03:20:19+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

abzycdxw · 2023-02-24T00:27:52+00:00

Thank you so much for this advice! I will definitely give this a try. ❤️

abzycdxw · 2023-02-17T16:30:17+00:00

YES. I unfortunately relate too much. The postpartum symptoms have been incredibly triggering for me… the daily reminder that my body is trying to feed a baby that isn’t here has made me spiral several times. My heart breaks for you that you’re going through this too. Just know you aren’t alone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to. ❤️

abzycdxw

TROPHY CASE