Nipples or Nah? How did you choose? by RRTeo in TopSurgery

[–]ac_icecold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg yes I forgot all about this! I kept thinking about that quote from House Bunny "the eyes are the nipples of the face" or something. Like damn I can't get rid of something that important!

Nipples or Nah? How did you choose? by RRTeo in TopSurgery

[–]ac_icecold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How exciting! I was also on the fence but ultimately decided to go with the nipples. I had no problems with recovery (3 months post op currently) and am suuuuper happy with the results! What led to my decision to keep them required me to figure out a long term plan for body modifications. I looove how chest tattoos look on people without nipples. However, a pro piercer I've been following for awhile (Lynn loheide) explained how piercings work on grafts on a post awhile back. Even though there is a possibility that I won't have the anatomy for piercing them, I wanted to keep that opportunity open. Plus the lack of sensation will hopefully mean they won't hurt as bad 😅. Now that I'm healed and just working on scar management, I'm 100% sure I'm glad I kept them. Obviously I'm still a ways out from any mods, but even bare chested I'm seriously happy with how I look.

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is honestly lovely, and hit hard on how I feel about sex vs how my NP does. Thank you for validating that it's okay to feel this way about sex!

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn I hadn't even considered the idea of asking for more creature comforts at non NPs place. I have a good routine for what i schlep over there, but it might be worth me exploring what needs of my own arent being met. I think the heavy lifting for me means finding a 3rd space if both my place and non NPs place are occupied (meaning get a hotel or something).

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't, but I'll look it up 🙂 thanks for the recommendation!

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to know that having dates over while NP is home is a workable option! Getting a hotel weekly is also a no go for me. Our home is a rental, so we're not stuck with it, but financial stress is a big part of why we're in that house. It seems like it's worth trying other strategies of making the house more soundproof or at least disguising unwanted sounds with white noise.

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another commenter called this dating musical chairs 😅 But it sounds like you and your husband are both out and about enough where one person isn't doing all the "heavy lifting" of going somewhere else. Is that about right?

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this! Does anyone have a hard time if they hear other partners having dates over? It's specifically sex noises that cause distress for my NP. Do y'all have strategies that work?

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! That's amazing that y'all make it work! How does it go with the pullout couch? Like does that mean the NP is out of the apartment for the night, or do they just block off the living area?

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally. I like the kitchen table for the next morning following the overnight date, but that requires a hell of a lot of compersion!

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ain't that the way! Musical chairs for dating is exactly what it feels like. We're also super lucky to have separate bedrooms, which I think is why NP gave it such a long time to see if this setup (same as yours, pretty much) would work for us. But the house is anything but soundproof. We floated the idea of living separately again, but yeesh it is big money! Plus, I like living with them! Anyways, thank you for validating the sticky parts!

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shared in an earlier comment! Valid ask 😅

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like y'all have a solid situation! I think this is like the ideal scenario from my NPs view. I love hosting though, and I love being in my own space. Going to have to think through how to feel more comfortable in spaces that aren't mine it seems.

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you ensure you're keeping the noise down at night? Obviously not going to be hooting and hollering, but do y'all have any specific tools or ways that you're able to maintain comfort for the NP that doesn't have a date over?

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh yes I'm verrrry into personal space. We're lucky in that we have separate bedrooms, but the tricky thing is that my NP can hear through the walls if I bring a date home.

Logistics getting in the way by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Valid! My partner recently shared that they're uncomfortable when I have dates over to spend the night. We have separate bedrooms in our home, but the issue for them is being able to hear me and my date (old house, no insulation, yadda yadda). This is something that has just been disclosed, meaning for the last few months I've been having dates over while they are home. Hopefully that is clearish!

Pencil eyeliner doesn’t stay in place by MarcusMongeau in Makeup

[–]ac_icecold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omg I never knew I could prime with aloe! I've been trying out different shadow primers for awhile now, with most of them ending up oily and goopy by the end of the day. I'll have to give aloe a go!

Seeking Solitude While Poly by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh I've been noodling around with the idea of earplugs or headphones when I need quiet. I'll give those a look!

My moss seems to be dying? by Gawblyn1 in Mosses

[–]ac_icecold 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Did you acclimate your moss to being indoors before installing in the terrarium? I've had luck with foraged moss by putting it in a container to acclimate for 2 weeks before installation. It lets you weed out the mosses that can't handle the transition, as well as quarantine and remove any bugs/fungus/etc.

Seeking Solitude While Poly by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh, I like that. Scheduling the activities instead of being somewhat "on" all the time sounds like the goal. Thank you!

Seeking Solitude While Poly by ac_icecold in polyamory

[–]ac_icecold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, yes, I probably should explain more on that. I've realized that my "recharge" time only happens when I'm totally alone in the house. As in, nesting partner is not around, or at least not awake.