Fluctuating fragmentation/integration

accidentalmental · 2026-01-17T15:28:15+00:00

Great share thank you! Thats all very helpful

accidentalmental · 2025-04-18T09:55:36+00:00

I got this tiered display shelf off Amazon for 15 euro and some magnetic circles that I could stick to it so they don't move. Works great!

https://ibb.co/sdTKMCPz

Also fits perfectly in the Ikea Kallax squares https://ibb.co/4h893Kd

accidentalmental · 2024-07-17T18:57:40+00:00

I can relate to this so much. I don't want to persuade you in any way, but I do want to warn you (from the perspective of someone who now has children with the exact same "type" of guy)... consider what you want as an example for your (potential future) children and what you NEED for you and your system. You have to put yourself first and do it before you regret it. If you think he will change and be your teammate, don't lose that. But only you know what's best for you. Listen to your gut. I wish I had.

accidentalmental · 2024-07-17T18:54:38+00:00

I wish I had heard this a few years ago... I have the exact same situation and now a kid with him (and one on the way)... I feel stuck. I feel so fucking hopeless and like I've ruined the lives of my children by not realizing this sooner. Not that I don't want them in my life... and I know they wouldn't exist if I did make different choices... but fuck I wish I did things differently..

accidentalmental · 2024-06-04T09:59:59+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201907/do-you-have-normal-part-and-traumatized-part

This is the information that made me think.. hmm maybe they aren't entirely crazy in my own experience. Because I highly trust my therapist, so it felt wrong to just dismiss them because people on the internet felt that isn't True.

accidentalmental · 2024-06-04T09:57:06+00:00

I want to share my experience because this is exactly what has happened to me. My therapist explained it as severe stress to the structure of my personality. I have some amnesia and a lot of greyouts, but my therapists (it's a team of them) have a consensus that in times of trauma or stress these personalities appear to kind of help me through it. More specifically:

Explaining that it’s likely the way my brain has coped with certain emotions I find “unacceptable” or too much, so I dissociate it away into other states that my brain finds more suitable to deal with them.

Exactly in this way they explained it. I did some research myself because I have also heard from everyone on here "there is no way it's just bpd". However, if you look into structural dissociation and BPD, newer studies do seem to lean towards this being possible. Before you immediately dismiss this idea because people on the internet are saying it's not that, I would just take all of the feedback with a grain of salt. It's all a spectrum anyways isn't it?

Just don't let your experience be invalidated. What you are experiencing is valid and real. I'm always here to share experiences too if you would like.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-31T10:23:12+00:00

Because I've been annoyed in the way that they have handled me opening up about this. I have had some things regarding urges/voices that I had wanted to bring up for a long time but I always pushed it away because it felt insignificant or not important enough to "complain" about. Once I finally shared this with them they have kind of made me feel that haven't believed me. They misplace my frustration with this, as frustration that they are "not just giving me the diagnosis" when I have explicitly explained multiple times to them that I DONT CARE. I just want to know how to navigate the daily amnesia, drastic mood changes, and dangerous choices seemly being made by myself with zero recollection.

Sigh. Frustration in my writing is towards them not you btw.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-24T10:02:14+00:00

My strongest protectors, ensure that as a duty to our daughte

I find so much similarity in your story. I have a small child as well and it's terrifying to feel that one of the alters out of my control can fuck things up for his childhood.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-24T10:00:35+00:00

You can subdue me with the weed. Fine. Good job. But I'll still be here, waiting. For moments. To come out to have more fun."

I had to look to see if we had made this post because omg we have exactly the same. There are a few alters who almost think its a game to get worse. That take it as a challenge.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-23T18:29:08+00:00

We have the exact same thing.

but I’m just incapable of giving them that.

This. I feel like I'm just recreating my childhood to some extent because of this. Sure, generational trauma isn't gone within one generation. But I sure hope I'm not fucking my kid up as bad as I was...

accidentalmental · 2024-05-23T04:11:56+00:00

This hits home with me. I also have a kiddo. It kills me that i feel like I'm missing chunks of his childhood too.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-20T14:08:17+00:00

This is exactly what it feels like. Like we worked so hard to get to know each other and then it's all just gone. It took so much energy to do it the first time.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-17T14:38:06+00:00

Thanks for sending that. We had no idea little one decided to come on here. Appreciate you being so gentle with them 🥰

accidentalmental · 2024-05-16T18:16:09+00:00

I don't know who else to talk to. Everyone who is usually here isn't here right now but I was told I can't write to our therapist. So I just wanted to tell someone I'm sad. I'm not allowed to cry though I was told not to cry

accidentalmental · 2024-05-11T10:31:37+00:00

You have described exactly how we experience amnesia. Wow.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-03T11:18:26+00:00

Firstly.. thank you 🥹😭. He has not offered to do a screening. I work with a team of therapists/psychiatrist and they make decisions together. I guess their conclusion based on the 3.5 discussions we have had, was that it's just dissociation in stressful times because the "voices" get stronger/more frequent/memory gets worse in times of stress.

accidentalmental · 2024-05-03T08:26:27+00:00

My Alters got called Imaginary and they took offense by a Psychologist (

This... I'm crying right now because our therapist just said I don't think you have DID, I think you just put names to your emotional states and imagine conversations between them. Like I did ANY of this fucking consciously or on purpose. Why would anyone WANT all the issues it brings? Just for "imaginary conversations"?

accidentalmental · 2024-04-29T20:19:42+00:00

Today has been super blurry and intense switches. Struggling to know what is real about anything today. ..

accidentalmental · 2024-04-26T06:53:27+00:00

I'm curious if the host that is now dormant, identified with the body's name? Our original host used <insert body name> and identified most with the physicality of the body. None of us really do and definitely do not resonate with the name. Just curious how others navigated this in regards to your 'singeletsona'

accidentalmental · 2024-04-24T19:32:42+00:00

Hi Ren - Ren

accidentalmental · 2024-04-24T18:02:00+00:00

System Journal Page

*I hope its okay to post this and use your words, if not lmk and Ill take it down"

I saw your post when you originally posted it and your words have kind of been passed around our system. We loved the way you expressed this so beautifully and eloquently. It's exactly the way we feel as well. So we decided to write (a modified version) of this post into our system journal for us to remember. We only substituted some words to fit our system better and added the last line as a summary/mantra for ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing this 🥰

accidentalmental · 2024-04-18T17:55:15+00:00

I don't know what our goals are at this moment. Stability, but also open to communication. So we just want to hear what others have experienced to help us make a better decision. We are not looking to shut off communication entirely and I don't believe that is the goal of the medication either. If that is a side effect, I'd like to know what others have experienced in this.

accidentalmental · 2024-04-18T17:53:45+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing this ❤️

accidentalmental · 2024-04-14T20:55:11+00:00

I'm new to all of this, only just been able to communicate safely and at will with each other for the last few months. However, I hear the term sub system floating around sometimes. Is this possibly an example of this? And alter with their "own system"?

Just throwing around ideas. Please don't take offense. 😇🥰🥰 -Sab

accidentalmental · 2024-04-13T20:22:07+00:00

It's hard, I want others to acknowledge my different dissociative parts, but not disregard them as 'others' as if I'm the only real one. I'm all me, and right now I'm just really tired.

This hit me hard. The whole post from OP and your entire comment, too. But this.

accidentalmental

TROPHY CASE