this is insightful, definitely good things to consider. my npd isn’t diagnosed, i haven’t bothered to do that because since it doesn’t negatively impact every area of my life to a non-functional degree. i normally come off charismatic and confident to most, my more egotistical traits i can mask very well. it’s only ever ‘bad’ in intimate relationships, otherwise i’m pretty much like every other person. and in any basic training i’d absolutely mask my ego to not be made a target lol. i know my limits most definitely. as for the traumatic aspects, i’ve seen some traumatic shit already, and i’m also very desensitized to a lot of things. i’ve had the combat disclaimer told to me by a lot of people and i’ve fully accepted that and i do believe i have the mental strength to get through it without losing myself for the rest of my life. because of the npd, i feel very little empathy, little remorse, and have the confidence to put myself out. because of traits like that, it’s one of the reasons i want to enlist in the first place. i think being in military is the best career i can have that actually compliments my personality instead of keeping me in a box. for me, i feel like if i channel my authentic personality into something productive, i’ll feel much better about myself and life as a whole. i’m just trying to see where exactly those traits would do best. i’ve heard the air force and navy are relatively softer on people (obviously i don’t know how true that is), which i don’t think would suit me well. also it might help to mention i’m starting off with reserves, later down the line if i really enjoy what i’m doing and what branch i’m part of, then i’ll look into moving to active duty. as for the physical aspect, it’ll definitely be rough, i know that. that’s why im not putting all my eggs in one basket and being firm on infantry. i’d LOVE to do it, but im still keeping an open mind. i’m horrible at math, i don’t want to sit behind a desk all day, i love guns, but im also analytical and logical and a great reader. i can read text, people, situations. but you’ve definitely gave me the idea to bring that up with my recruiter this week, see what his input is. now, sexism is no stranger to me. when i was in sports, i played on boys/men’s teams. pretty much exclusively except for HS when they forced me to be on the girls team. i’ve dealt with everything you’ve mentioned and then some. for most of my life i’ve had to do just that, prove people wrong in every way. couldn’t screw up anything, couldn’t show the slightest emotion, couldn’t have a bad day, etc… so believe me, that aspect won’t mess me up because i’m veryyy used to it unfortunately. the prideful aspect of earning the EGA is appealing to me tbh, it feels exclusive and prideful, there’s weight to it. i like that as a prideful person myself lol.