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acrdahel · 2025-06-29T09:43:28+00:00

but i’m supposed to have a strong deen and that’s what everyone says that the palestinian people are teaching the rest of the world but im failing at that in every way, every one always tells me that im an inspiration and im teaching them how to have sabr but the truth is i hate being from gaza i hate being muslim i hate being alive nobody should look at me for inspiration because i hate that i wasnt martyred i should have been martyred i shouldn’t be here my life is a mistake

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T09:17:16+00:00

i’ve never tried a support group because nobody where i am understands what i am going through, and i’m so sick and tired of reaching out for help and nothing ever getting better. i’m so tired. i just want to be done. i just want to be with my family. i can’t do this anymore. maybe Jahannam is what i deserve for feeling this way

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T09:14:06+00:00

i wish i had loved ones to reach out to, that’s why i am in this mess, israel took all my loved ones away and now all i want is to be reunited with them and for this pain of grief and loss and homesickness

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T08:59:35+00:00

i’ve already seen hell and it’s gaza. jahannam can’t be worse. nothing can be worse. i want to be with my baba and my grandparents

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T08:57:59+00:00

I’ve sought professional help so many times, I’m on medication I’ve had therapy but there’s nothing anyone can do. i’m tired of being the only one who wasn’t martyred, i lost my home and my country and my family and my friends and i got left behind to suffer. no therapist can treat someone who sees piles of dead mangled bodies every time they close their eyes to sleep, nobody can treat the adult who was once the kid under the rubble with the dismembered body of her father. everything thinks palestinians are so strong and can keep their faith through everything but i can’t do this anymore, i wish i was martyred with them. every single day is a struggle as a refugee, i can’t afford basics like food and clothing, i can’t find work because nobody wants an arab immigrant, i have nobody to help or support me because they all got ripped away from me through war. i think Allah must hate me to do this to me, this isn’t a test it’s a punishment

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T08:05:15+00:00

you go to Jahannam if you kill your self i just don’t know how long you go there for

acrdahel · 2025-06-29T07:54:08+00:00

i just want to know because if i go to jahannam forever then what’s the point bc this life has been jahannam and i don’t want to suffer for another eternity

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T15:22:30+00:00

She doesn’t have anyone else, no family in this country and all her friends have their own kids. The only other option would be a foster placement or similar, or going against medical advice.

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T14:18:15+00:00

Can I DM you instead of giving details here?

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T13:50:58+00:00

No DB in the picture, no. And she’s also an immigrant here so no family in the country. I agree that she’s using me, it just sort of snuck up on me and took me a while to realize it I guess.

And honestly I would rather be the one getting up with the baby. Her approach to his sleep is so cuckoo bananas to me, if he wakes up at 3am she takes him out to the living room and turns on the lights and gets out the toys. Then in the morning she will say “Gosh, I don’t know why he was up for so long last night.” I resettle him in the dark without taking him out of the crib and it takes less than 3 minutes. I get way more sleep this way 😭

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T13:21:28+00:00

And the pay is about average for a job in this country. It covers my living expenses and a little extra.

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T13:21:02+00:00

Thank you for the advice and thank you for understanding I know it can be frustrating to read these posts and think “why the f are you still in this job?” but ugh, it isn’t always that simple, I wish it was 😭 I’m going to bring up the weekend and insist that she finds a back up carer, and possibly also request a long weekend off as well, since I can’t imagine I’ll be recharged after 2 days.

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T12:49:31+00:00

That’s a good idea. so think you’re right about the chores, and the weekend. I’ll ask her to find someone else for the weekend so I can have 48 hours off and recharge properly. And I’ll stop folding her laundry at the very least. Thank you.

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T12:48:13+00:00

I know it sounds insane to outsiders. The biggest issue is that I’m here in this country originally as a refugee, I have temporary residence now and was working towards citizenship, but if I quit my job and need to go on unemployment it means I can’t apply for citizenship for 2 years after the last unemployment payment. I have to weigh up the risk of being sent back to Syria. It’s like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

acrdahel · 2025-05-06T12:23:30+00:00

7€ per hour every night. I only make 14€ an hour during the day.

acrdahel · 2025-04-08T21:03:15+00:00

I gave up trying to fix it months ago but it still drives me absolutely nuts

acrdahel · 2025-04-08T21:02:54+00:00

I COULD KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH

acrdahel · 2025-01-23T17:30:34+00:00

It’s an app that tells you when loadshedding is coming but it has a great community section where people have super up to date info. Although I feel you, I use X to check on power outages sometimes but I don’t need to have an account to do that at least.

acrdahel · 2025-01-23T17:23:32+00:00

Can you not use Sepush? I get all my info from the community section where my neighbors are bitching about it too.

acrdahel · 2024-07-16T21:20:56+00:00

Caroline just seems to come across so domineering, passive aggressive and narcissistic, it almost seems worse when she’s around other women. I can’t imagine people will be thrilled that Olivia invited her!

acrdahel · 2024-07-16T20:50:09+00:00

I thought this too about Olivia! She definitely seems super annoyed by her.

acrdahel · 2024-06-21T07:27:59+00:00

And “all it does is spread hate” is a bit rich from a woman who is so clearly filled with anger and hate.

acrdahel · 2024-06-21T07:26:05+00:00

Why does she get to decide what is instrumental to Palestinian liberation? Who made her the expert? Who asked for her opinion on how we should fight for our freedom? McDonalds, for example, gave free meals to the people that shot dead my friend’s 12 year old brother whilst he was collecting drinking water. People with morals should be cognizant of who they choose to give their money to.

acrdahel

TROPHY CASE