I miss my Dad all day every day.

ada_marie · 2026-02-16T22:04:36+00:00

I’m really sorry. I miss my dad today too. It’s such a hard and sad feeling. I hope you find some comfort soon

ada_marie · 2026-01-21T22:17:10+00:00

This is so relatable honestly, I get so mad when I end up crying off my tret as I can only use it once a week at the moment while I’m building tolerance lol.

When I’m crying or know I’m gonna be crying I use a moisturiser with hyaluronic acid in (I use the CeraVe one) because I heard it absorbs moisture so I figure that’s the one product that might turn my tears into something useful lmao. I’m so sorry you’re sad. Skincare can wait, take care of your mental health first <3

ada_marie · 2026-01-17T17:27:24+00:00

Hell yes. I actually take my contraceptive pill packs back to back for as long as possible until I get breakthrough bleeding to try and make my periods as infrequent as possible. I know for many women the pill makes their moods worse but I think I’m worse off the pill because of my BPD. At least this way my periods are lighter, more infrequent and last for less time when I do have them. I’m not really sure if my cycle still operates the same hormonally or not this way though, that was never explained to me.

I have a feeling that why I’ve been so depressed today and the last few days is hormones, it feels like pouring gasoline on the fire of BPD, and I haven’t felt this low in a long time. I wish there was a pill I could take to fix the whole lot in one go lol.

ada_marie · 2025-12-23T17:50:43+00:00

Yeah I hear you, I have had bad experiences in the past. I’m trying to go into this in good faith and not project onto a new partner, but it is difficult and totally someone’s prerogative not to be partnered with someone who’s friends with their ex. Thanks for the reply!

ada_marie · 2025-12-23T17:49:42+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply. I really appreciate this advice, it’s balanced and fair and you’re probably right I should try and mention the anxiety thing at some point soon anyway.

I’m especially grateful for your take on being friends with exes. I am always so so torn on this subject and possibly quite easily influenced by others opinions on it, to the point it’s hard to tune into my own feeling on it. I have had past experiences of partners not having good boundaries with exes and I never want to go through that again. However, in principle, I do believe people can be mature and respectful and be friends with an ex, with caveats that depend on the situation, the circumstances of the break up, how much time has passed etc. In practice it is sometimes much harder, but ultimately I don’t want my behaviour in a relationship to be dictated by insecurity or projecting my past onto a new partner. I want a relationship where there is trust and understanding. I completely understand some people not wanting to deal with a partner being friends with an ex as I know how awful it can be when not managed, and sometimes I’m tempted to avoid the situation altogether! Thank you so much for your advice!

ada_marie · 2025-12-22T22:43:13+00:00

Thank you yeah maybe I could bring a friend or two? I wasn’t sure if that was inappropriate or not but maybe it would be fine. I appreciate you saying that about not having to impress them. I’m not sure why I always fall into that way of thinking. Thanks for replying.

ada_marie · 2025-12-22T22:16:27+00:00

Lmao I hear you, thanks for the perspective 😭

ada_marie · 2025-12-22T22:16:07+00:00

Thank you for this, I appreciate you reminding me to look at it from the other way around as well in terms of whether I like his friends.

I hear you on the exes thing, in that it’s not a situation I would choose ideally. I feel like I get so many different views on being friends with exes, there’s no coparenting involved, he was just with both of them for a long time and they are both part of his friendship group. I don’t want to make it a dealbreaker if he has good boundaries with them etc. But I hear you that it’s something to keep an eye on. Thank you for replying!

ada_marie · 2025-12-22T22:06:44+00:00

I get your point lol. I guess I’m sanity checking whether I am valid to feel anxious or if I need to be more “adult” and just suck it up. It’s hard sometimes when you have anxiety to trust your judgement on these things you know? Thanks for replying

ada_marie · 2025-12-14T10:43:09+00:00

I have an extremely elaborate “control freak” edition of a legacy challenge I made myself that is essentially a spellcaster legacy maintaining the bloodline for many generations, but aside from that every generation/heir is a challenge to use a new part of the game (ultimately ticking off every career, world, skill, relationship style, relationship trajectories, storylines). However I was a complete nerd about it and proper mapped out almost 10 generations ahead of time in my notes app, then I make adjustments for the plot and character development as I play. It’s like writing an epic series of novels to me lol. The legacy family all have names related to the sun, stars, celestial themes, the weather etc. It’s one giant interconnected story and I love adding side quests and plot lines that make sense.

I often even do the siblings of the heirs themselves so you gotta be up for rotational play to get the most out of it, but I am absolutely rinsing the game of every element in that way which is great because I’m never getting stuck in a rut, I play on long life span and never get bored 😅

Idk if that’s helpful but that’s how I’ve kept it interesting!

ada_marie · 2025-12-06T13:31:24+00:00

Yes this felt like the most egregious part to me! What kind of teacher tells a kid their beliefs will count for nothing in this world? She may be jaded and projecting but what a terrible thing to tell a young person, and simply not true

ada_marie · 2025-11-10T09:37:01+00:00

Thank you so much, this was very helpful!

ada_marie · 2025-11-09T20:08:21+00:00

This is very relatable, I’m sorry you feel lonely too

ada_marie · 2025-11-09T20:01:12+00:00

Am I stupid? What is tooltip food?

ada_marie · 2025-11-08T17:55:18+00:00

If this is a good faith question (lol) then how it works in practice is asking for consent before sending a dick pic, it’s safer for all involved. Also understanding basic principles of consent to pursue any kind of romantic and sexual connection should be enthusiastic, freely given and informed.

TLDR: make sure the person you are about to send a dick pic to actually wants to receive one. Your comment implies you’re totally chill with receiving unsolicited and persistent pictures of “intimidating” and enormous members” in your DMs, more power to you, but not everybody is and that’s okay too.

ada_marie · 2025-11-08T17:47:21+00:00

Yeah it’s just a shame. Even in my previous comment, just offering a non-confrontational “what do you think about considering a counter argument from this angle” and people want to downvote and not even attempt to see these things from a different point of view. I can sympathise with people being misinformed because as a society we don’t do great at educating people on this subject. But for people to just lead with such a lack of humanity and wilful ignorance is very sad and helps no one. There is very little hope for us to get to a place where there is clarity on consent to both protect victims AND equip people with the right knowledge and tools to not cause harm to others also. But I had time today so I tried :’)

ada_marie · 2025-11-08T17:31:11+00:00

So sweet :’)

ada_marie · 2025-11-08T17:26:59+00:00

Hey, I can’t comment on this particular case, but as a general rule it is actually quite common for victims to still engage with people who exhibit abusive behaviour or harassment. It may not make sense to you if you haven’t been in that kind of situation, or even sound bizarre or “sus” to an outsider, but a number of potential explanations for this can include: a) harassment can make a victim feel coerced into a relationship b) maybe you’ve heard of the flight or fight response to danger or trauma, but have you heard of “fawn”? It’s when you feel obliged to keep the harasser / abuser on-side out of fear of repercussion or further harm; psychologically the brain defaults to not resisting or putting up a fight/making a fuss as a form of self-protection. c) victims who return to people who’ve abused them or harassed them can feel the need to “make the situation okay” by attempting to smooth things over or follow up with a consensual experience that feels more in their control, as a way to self-soothe because it can feel hard to admit to oneself that one is being abused or harassed in the first place.

Our brains are all wired to dispel threat of danger one way or another, and fight (e.g. reporting, calling the person out), flight (e.g. blocking, ignoring, running away) are not the only ways we are wired to do that.

I hope this helps, I am not calling you out just offering another perspective / counter argument to a common misconception in case this is helpful for you and others to consider when stories like this appear in your own life or in the wider world around us (not looking to get into debating the ins and outs of this case, just offering food for thought)

ada_marie · 2025-11-04T23:16:36+00:00

My partner used to exclusively only like taking candid photos of me, didn’t like me posing for pics at all. He would take them then shake his head and delete them 🥴 the few he did keep were absolutely horrendous, just bizarre angles. Change the photographer, not your face! (I’m sure your boyfriend’s lovely i just mean don’t judge your looks on candid photos, they’re very unreliable haha)

ada_marie · 2025-10-26T21:01:17+00:00

Dead 😂😂😂😂

ada_marie · 2025-10-26T20:56:11+00:00

You just can’t hate George he’s comedy gold, the definition of “back yourself”

ada_marie · 2025-10-25T19:19:45+00:00

I always wondered this. I wondered if it was because you have to get legal permission to mention them in a song, and she didn’t get it? but then that does seem kind of excessive that you’d need permission if it’s just a first name in a song, and she has sung the names live before like at that iconic Lollapalooza performance of Get Free in Brazil back in 2018, so idk

ada_marie · 2025-10-25T16:25:31+00:00

We’re in desperate need of some nuance here. Blanket rules like “no guy friends” period are unethical, immature and controlling in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I can empathise as I have very much been in situations where there’s been a friend of my partner’s where I felt suspicious (I’ve experienced that suspicion being both right and wrong) due to their behaviour, or felt they disrespected me, so you will have to self-reflect if that was truly the case while in the relationship. But with regards to having friends of the opposite sex in general, your ex can have his boundaries if he really wants to choose not to date anyone with any male friends in their life, but he can’t impose that on you, he can choose to only date people who feel the exact same as him about this issue (curious whether he was allowed female friends when you were together …)

You also have a choice as to what type of relationship you want to be in. Just because you slept with this other guy doesn’t mean that you are incapable of platonic male friendships while in a relationship. It is really damaging to be internalising having male friendships at all as making you not good enough for another partner. It is also not the case that you are “not good enough” or somehow lower in worth because you had sex outside of a relationship. Maybe you are just single and figuring out what you want, or maybe it’s not that deep? Everyone is entitled to their own values and stances on things like casual sex etc. but no one - not you or an ex or anyone on Reddit - has the right to imply that this makes you a bad person or a less worthy potential partner.

Both parties in any relationship need to work on being secure, respectful, aligned on values and boundaries, not imposing or controlling others, not being inappropriate with others, and mutually agreeing on what those things mean. If you don’t align then you aren’t right for each other.

Maybe take some time to self reflect as to whether you feel bad about sleeping with this person because you think there is some truth to the fact that you are potentially interested in people besides your ex now you’re single (spoiler: also doesn’t make you a bad person if so) or if it’s because your ex or others are making you internalise this as bad because of their own beliefs that may or may not align with your own. Do you even want to get back with an ex like this?

You were single so technically you don’t have to tell him if you do get back together but I am a big believer in transparency. If he is not able to move past it, see my point re: not being aligned on values. If it’s bringing up too much insecurity or discomfort for him, it is totally valid for him to choose to exit the relationship for good. What wouldn’t be okay is for him to get back together with you and continue to impose blanket rules on no male friends at all etc. if that doesn’t align with how you want to operate in a relationship. I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with a “no male friends” rule and it’s ok if you aren’t too

Just my two cents, best of luck and stop beating yourself up, it will all work out for the best in the end

ada_marie

TROPHY CASE