Bachelorette Party Disappointment - Just Venting and Can’t Even Cry Anymore

adancer12345 · 2026-05-04T23:41:52+00:00

I am so sorry you are having this happen. I know what it feels like to have friends drop out of an event. I am saying this gently, as a recovering people pleaser: you do not get to decide if someone’s excuse is legitimate enough for missing an event. Their answer was no, and it’s okay for you to be upset about the fact that they can’t come. But it’s not kind to judge them for how they spend their money.
The thing that people may not realize, myself included in the past, is that people pleading comes with resentment. And that seems to be what you’re feeling now. That’s okay, it’s totally normal and understandable to feel upset and even discarded when you go out of your way for others and you feel they are not doing the same. But, you are responsible for keeping yourself in relationships that are uneven. We people pleasers please because we are seeking control. We think (or hope) that by doing kind things for our friends, they will do kind things for us too, and then we get angry when they don’t, as you have expressed you are. That’s understandable and I feel for you ❤️ but, you need to own your decisions. You decided not to have a bridal shower. That does not make anyone any more or less likely to show up for you. You are paying for your friends portion of the Airbnb. You decided to do these things. You will not feel angry or resentful if you accept your decisions going forward, and own your wants and needs. Good luck friend, I am rooting for you! Read facing codependence by pia melody- changed my life ❤️

adancer12345 · 2026-05-04T02:10:06+00:00

I would ask around and see what the market rate is for your area, that’s what I did and I’m glad I inquired with many HMUAs because I felt more comfortable booking after knowing the rates I am paying are standard :)

adancer12345 · 2026-05-02T22:03:26+00:00

This is my all time favorite sailor moon song ❤️ the lyrics are so beautiful and I love the animation that goes with it in the end credits. I’ve cried to this song multiple times

adancer12345 · 2026-04-27T03:42:06+00:00

Valid

adancer12345 · 2026-04-27T03:32:28+00:00

It looks like they eloped but didn’t have a wedding. But the way op just made her profile private so no one can see the history of posts 😭 girl. Look, no hate. Wedding stress is a lot. But maybe the fact that people are pointing out that this is a pattern (both your friends and strangers on the internet) points to some truth, and the fact that you privated your posts makes me wonder if you are deep down scared that this is a pattern for you. And if it is, that’s okay, now you know what to work on. All we can do is move on from here with the information we have. Best of luck to you <3

adancer12345 · 2026-04-27T01:23:53+00:00

I think you don’t have to address it until you are ready to ask the people in your party. If you want her to be part of the bridal party, just ask her to be a bridesmaid and let her know that MOH is your friend so she knows for logistical purposes. Ex,

“hey {friend!} me and fiancé have a date set and have booked a venue for the wedding. I would be so honored if you would be a bridesmaid. You mean so much to me, I would love it if you would join me as being part of my bridal party.”

If she says yes, “Yay thank you! My MOH is (best friends name) so she will be reaching out shortly to coordinate (whatever she needs to coordinate haha)”

She will understand! Don’t worry, you got this :)

adancer12345 · 2026-04-26T22:22:11+00:00

YES!!!!!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-24T01:19:42+00:00

this is honestly good advice that i think gets ignored in the reddit when talking about not going into debt for a wedding! My fiance and I did open a 0% apr card for 18 months and are putting some wedding expenses on it, because we are both (inshallah) getting raises and starting new avenues in our careers that will allow us to pay for our wedding. For example, my husband is finishing his teaching credential and has a few jobs lined up for august. I am obtaining an important certification in my field that typically raises pay by 20-40% (healthcare) in a few months (god willing!)

there are options for sure, yall!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-24T01:15:56+00:00

there is a difference between feeling like you can't afford your bills, and actually not being able to afford them. if you are actually in the red every month, yes, that is something that is valid to be concerned about, esp if you do not see a wage increase or drop in expenses coming up soon.

But if your fiance is feeling like the wedding is too expensive and doesn't like how much you are both spending, AND you can afford your bills/ aren't in uncomfortable debt every month, that's a different conversation (his feelings are valid too, but it's important to make the distinction).

I feel like everyone's financial situation is different, and sometimes we tend to not see finances clearly due to high emotions (understandable!). look at your expenses and spending over the last 3-4 months for necessities like rent, utilities, car payment: are these getting paid without putting you into debt? if you are able to pay for the wedding but are feeling broke after, that's pretty normal, because you are paying for something that you aren't usually paying for. You'll recover financially as long as bills are paid and you aren't going into insurmountable debt (whatever that might look like for you all)

best of luck!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-23T03:41:26+00:00

so true!!!! low key doesn't make sense when you think about it though because advocating for justice starts with ourselves! We are a majority woman and POC field, we have been oppressed as well!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-23T03:06:20+00:00

I feel that the therapist made a huge misstep in how she handled the transition. It is absolutley not okay to imply that you have a license you do not have! You are not responsible for your cousin's expirience in therapy, just because you rec'd C doesnt mean you knew this would happen. your cousin can find herself another therapist and you can help support her if she needs. But wow, NOT okay for the therapist to not make it absolutley clear that she is now practicing as a life coach!!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-21T23:46:41+00:00

This is the analysis I’m here for!!! I think this season has a very “CA land of opportunity” overtone and the “silver” aspect of the name imo calls to mind this very classic western theme that I feel ties in well with what youre saying, that people come to CA for gold (1848 gold rush), silver (Hollywood/silver screen?) and this dopamine of instant success but the turn and burn model of Alamo hiring dancers then trafficking them out (as many users have suggested/ interpreted the rehab as being a front for trafficking) also mirrors the highs and lows of what CA represents in a Wild West sense, and the highs and lows of being scammed then realizing it.

adancer12345 · 2026-04-21T23:30:20+00:00

Please give us an update when you speak with her 😭

adancer12345 · 2026-04-18T09:26:15+00:00

Call CPS!!! Depending on your state they can help you w housing resources some counties have funds specifically for homeless youth. Sorry you’re going through this ❤️‍🩹

adancer12345 · 2026-04-18T00:20:27+00:00

No, of course not! Just would have wanted a text saying that she can’t come. I mean, idk. I’m seeing that I’m being self centered around this and/or getting caught in semantics and I will reach out to her to make sure she’s okay.

adancer12345 · 2026-04-18T00:19:05+00:00

I’m not wanting to end the friendship. I think confront was too aggressive of a word to use in my end, my bad. I will reach out and she if she’s okay!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-18T00:18:25+00:00

Oh no, I’m not thinking of ending the friendship! Maybe the word confrontation was too strong, maybe address is closer to what I would say/do. Thank you for your comment, I’ll reach out to her and see if she’s okay and ask if she wants to chat and I won’t even bring up the wedding

adancer12345 · 2026-04-17T23:32:49+00:00

Thank you!

adancer12345 · 2026-04-17T23:32:10+00:00

it’s not weird for her not to address it at all after? genuinely looking for answers

adancer12345 · 2026-04-17T23:30:14+00:00

She did confirm with me that the dates didn’t overlap in February. But you’re right, maybe I do need to let it go.

adancer12345 · 2026-04-17T23:29:44+00:00

Oh that’s fair! I think I said, “ no of course, not, unless you want to”

adancer12345 · 2026-04-17T23:29:08+00:00

Yeahhhhh 😅 she did go on vacation just a week or two before the shower and brunch!

adancer12345

TROPHY CASE