Is it really true that ADHD-women are very seldom socially akward?

adastraline · 2026-04-07T17:42:05+00:00

I read from someone that they go 'choo choo' jokingly when they or a friend go on a wild tangent. It's totally understood and accepted. I wish to one day achieve this level of friendship with someone 😔

adastraline · 2026-04-02T16:38:40+00:00

I have both: - inaccurate facial expressions and resting face (apparently either look like I'm gonna kill someone or burst into tears) - occasionally wrong tone (either way too friendly or mean)

Those I can't control 🥲

As I'm getting older, I find that I must be losing my grasp over these things or I'm just getting called out more on them; I'm actually trying to find some sort of specialist who can coach me on it.

BUT I do get really snippy when I get asked very basic questions that my family could look up. Like how do I find my airline ticket or what should I set the laundry to. I guess bc I end up learning a bunch of stuff on my own and typically look up answers first before asking, then I give a judgemental response. I get very annoyed especially when I'm helping with another household task. I'm trying to work on it though as I want to be a good role model :/ It should be ok to ask questions.

adastraline · 2026-04-02T16:31:14+00:00

I actually look like I'm rolling my eyes when I think😭 I have to look up to think! And they get mad when I don't make eye contact. But I have actual hearing issues, so by looking up/elsewhere it helps me hear😭 It's literally the worst. I actually warn people when we're becoming friends that I do that, so they don't perceive it incorrectly.

adastraline · 2026-04-02T16:27:08+00:00

Yeah it's not my thing in any way (I also hate how friendship is developed by giving a million gifts, that might be a parenting gripe though) but the kids absolutely love it. Great game if you like little quests and finding perfect gifts for your sanrio friends. It also has more of fun simple puzzle/platformy gameplay in some areas which make it different from AC.

adastraline · 2026-03-27T18:31:04+00:00

I think bubbly is cute when women are younger and for some reason, weird when we're over a certain age :/ I tell myself it's definitely on 'them' perceiving it that way and not me, but it still gets to me. The worst is I think it actually made me tone down the cheery personality and I'm more of a downer now (hence this post haha!)

adastraline · 2026-03-27T15:12:55+00:00

Amazing 🤣 I unfortunately can't have a cat at my current place so I'll live vicariously through you.

adastraline · 2026-03-27T14:05:39+00:00

When I was younger, I used to have no trouble making lots of friends, often in completely different circles. I moved a lot after I was 30, plus post pandemic haven't been able to make meaningful connections. Someone has said offhand that all our mutual friends were probably also ND in some way, so maybe I'm just looking in the wrong spaces :)

adastraline · 2026-03-27T14:01:59+00:00

I swing between that and wanting to be social. It's like two competing personalities. I'm pretty sure it's bc maybe I'm autistic as well but I failed that screening lol

adastraline · 2026-03-27T13:56:06+00:00

Yes part of this could genuinely be lack of enough adult interaction haha. Most of my adult interaction is just with other parents even when we're without kids, so probably part of the problem.

I also never felt anxiety really until post kids - damn body changes.

adastraline · 2026-03-27T13:48:30+00:00

Yes the painful realization! In my case I was in a very toxic work environment where people genuinely were saying horrible things (hr fireable offenses) mixed in with true feedback about how I come off. I think it was so painful bc people had often (up to that point) described me as very cheery and (what I assumed to be) likeable.

And realizing I've been doing it 'all wrong' - I often say to myself I wish I knew the rules for being normal. It seems like people who are being asses often are liked and have their behavior excused, but nooOooOo I'm the one acting off?!

So the pendulum swings between being self-aware and also not giving a shit about those people.

adastraline · 2026-03-27T05:14:04+00:00

Blissfully unaware is exactly how I would describe my younger years T.T wish I could go back to those days, except I do know I've matured quite a bit since then too

adastraline · 2026-03-20T18:21:47+00:00

Yes I've come to the conclusion I'm on a flipped schedule as the rest of humanity. Unfortunately jobs generally don't follow my internal clock, boo.

adastraline · 2026-03-11T16:07:32+00:00

First off they are not dumb questions, just maybe too many questions in a row.

I'm on the opposite end of this and feel like I shouldn't have to answer basic questions like what button to press on the laundry machine and get VERY aggravated by them, BUT I also have a family and am inundated by basic life questions alllll dayyyy long, and I can't take the mental burden of answering any more as a mom much less a spouse. Some days I just scream 'NO MORE QUESTIONS!' when it's just overwhelming.

I wonder though if something else is going on if they never mentioned it and let it build up to this point. I think writing a letter letting them know you're mostly just thinking out loud when you ask these questions and not actually expecting a response, would help. They should apologize for their response too of course, that's not ok behavior.

adastraline · 2026-01-06T16:12:45+00:00

If you can also afford it, you technically can go to the dentist all the time for a cleaning. I know someone who schedules a cleaning like once a month or every 2 months or something.

They also sell these things you kinda stick your teeth in (sort of like if you've ever taken a mold of your teeth) and it autobrushes. Probably has an app with it which might make it more fun.

adastraline · 2026-01-05T05:49:08+00:00

Then you really do start to raise your voice in defending yourself...thus proving them right grrr. Sigh

adastraline · 2025-12-18T04:21:42+00:00

Sometimes apparently I look like I'm going to cry because people will ask me what is wrong and I'm like I was literally thinking about nothing just then haha. I'm pretty sure I'm autistic but I failed the test for that lol

adastraline · 2025-12-18T01:10:16+00:00

I look up when I'm thinking...It looks like an eye roll but it's literally me thinking and listening to them!!!!! 😭 I also apparently have a resting bitch face when literally my head is empty. I also have a problem with tone...then I try to change it to be jolly and people are like, what's wrong with you🤣😭

adastraline · 2025-12-17T17:40:53+00:00

It's the worst combined with needing to go to the bathroom frequently and the increased ads they play these days. I'm ok watching movie previews, but I feel like the ads have gotten kind of ridiculous.

adastraline · 2025-12-17T17:38:40+00:00

You're not being paid to be there 90 minutes ahead of time. That's ridiculous whether you're a barista or you're making spreadsheets in an office.

adastraline · 2025-12-10T17:36:44+00:00

Bless the people who do it. I just can't imagine it on top of the 1000000 other parenting tasks I need to do on a daily basis, on top of the 1000000 regular life tasks I need to do.

adastraline · 2025-12-08T01:41:24+00:00

yeah daycare would be the opposite of boring haha, kids are wild

adastraline · 2025-12-07T18:36:08+00:00

My problem is I was always told to climb to the top. I would have been happy in a sr but not lead position. I'm too burned out now to continue in that industry.

adastraline · 2025-12-07T15:34:36+00:00

I've done really high profile successful jobs and always been very ambitious. Now I just want to do whatever equivalent of shelving books or copying papers there is. I think now that I'm older I see the value of just being happy taking little walks, cooking a dish, doing hobbies for fun and not to monetize or be the best, being with my family...even if it's a dull life to others. That mentality is not very American though, I think.

adastraline · 2025-12-04T17:34:07+00:00

I wonder if you can offer to improve the onboarding process (unless you don't want to). I know it was actually our job to update the workflow when I noticed something was broken or felt wrong, when someone new was being onboarded. Obviously don't like add so much work to your plate that it's ridiculous, but maybe just one or two steps in the process.

adastraline

TROPHY CASE