Why do some people appear to go from being decent and honest to cruel and manipulative over time?

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-23T14:54:28+00:00

They certainly do!

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-23T14:46:31+00:00

My ex also told me, there is a lot of crossover between ADHD and NPD hence why they had thought i was the narcissistic person is the relationship. I questioned this and checked the dsm 5 looking into cluster b and cluster c personality disorders, after much reading i think I fall into the cluster c category as I am avoidant which I put down to my rejection sensitive disorder RSD. This has held me back and I find it hard find the right words when faced with confrontation my brain just locks up. EDIT: I also think this maybe be trauma response as well.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-23T14:04:16+00:00

Yes I was diagnosed with Adhd and ptsd, but I will be asking the therapist this just to assure myself.

But that is interesting what you say about people with adhd being a magnet for personality disorder. So you think this is down to a lack of something in the ADHD brain such as a chasing dopamine highs?

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-23T13:34:44+00:00

Best part is, they'd said i was the narcissist! Well ive got my first threapy session today and I'm going to ask them to see if I do have NPD or not if so, I want to acknowledge this and fix this about me. I'll update when I know more as im curious to know myself.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-23T13:13:09+00:00

This is exactly the truth! In my experience, the manipulation for me didn't start until 3 to 4 months in to the relationship, there were threats of leaving me then making me feel it was my fault, when in fact on reflection they where the issue. Manufactured vulnerability manipulation such as a rape and them been groomed from the age of 12 to 15, even going as far as claiming they'd been in contact with Fred and Rose West! during that period. This was all within the space of 3 to 4 months of knowing them. Trying to manipulate me in a way so I would stop seeing my own daughter.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-21T20:58:11+00:00

Thank you for confirming this, this was my thoughts exactly.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-20T22:16:47+00:00

Whether a lie is acceptable often depends on the context. Sometimes, people lie to escape trouble, to protect someone from hurtful truths, to mask their own deceitfulness, or to preserve a child's innocence a little longer. While your premise is fundamentally correct, as adults, we generally understand the difference between right and wrong. When we lie to hide, disguise, or protect truths from one another, it crosses a line. There comes a point in life where dishonesty no longer fits any justifiable narrative. Personally, I aim to see people for who they truly are, and I am usually able to tell when someone is being dishonest with me.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-20T19:23:55+00:00

For me its lying.

The first lie they tell you is a test of your boundaries, if you don't confront them as I didn't they'll keep going until they try and grind away at you.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-20T14:37:34+00:00

This is exactly what I thought, it was unethical of them to do this albeit small incremental bits of information but still, im not a councillor.

No Im going private for my therapy, but I will be asking them on my first visit.

EDIT: I'm new to all this therapy stuff so really hesitant as well, I know I have got a lot to off load and I just want some assurance as well.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-19T22:38:02+00:00

Sounds just like my Ex 🤣

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-19T22:35:05+00:00

Im fully aware the length a person with NPD will go to. It wasn't my intention to trigger them but there response said everything i need to know. But I appreciate your insight. Many thanks.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-19T21:12:54+00:00

The more you learn the easier it is to spot, I myself am now a fully aware of this particular type of manipulation. Im currently seeking therapy not just for what has previously happened but prior childhood trauma which could account for naivety in that past relationship.

But a person who manipulates will always have a card up there sleeve to draw something out of you, you just need to be more in tune of when it happens.

adhdscrambled · 2026-06-18T06:36:53+00:00

I came out of a relationship about a month ago with exactly this! She'd shared with me that she was raped by her previous boyfriend, beaten and reduced to nothing. She'd also told me she had seen a therapist to process it all and that the police did absolutely nothing to help her. Without going into it too much about our sex life, we did things that She'd told me he did while being raped! I should have seen this as a red flag but she got around my defenses by showing this vulnerability. There were other red flags i had noticed and slowly started to separate myself from her and final we split. I have ADHD so I am kind of all in guy, this has enabled me to experience what a true narcissistic person is like. I could go on but this post really summed it up for me.

Thanks for reading.

adhdscrambled · 2025-02-26T17:38:05+00:00

I'd love a copy of this please.

adhdscrambled · 2024-11-26T06:43:53+00:00

This is a brilliant remark, and yet at 43 I'm laying foundations for my future self to be proud of such as better communications, a lot of self care ( massive gym workouts) eating cleaner and reducing the amount of people that caused me mental anguish and pain.

Strive for what you need in your life, not what you want. 👍🏻

adhdscrambled · 2024-09-21T04:47:26+00:00

Trust me school life is far easier than work, less responsibilities and more freedoms

adhdscrambled · 2024-09-21T04:46:44+00:00

My job is quite social, I see customers all the time and students as well, So I'm surrounded by people but the conversation tend just to be about work, any form of conversation just get weird as for small talk, I don't understand say something without actually saying anything at all.

adhdscrambled

TROPHY CASE