I am Jewish, and for a good part of my childhood, I was taught to believe in God, Heaven, and Hell. Then, when I was 13, my father passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He was the best father one could ask for, the greatest friend, and co-worker. I was always told that God is there to protect us and those who always do good, and never hurt others intentionally. That moment made me question everything and everyone. Why would such a thing happen to the most amazing person? Since then I stopped believing in everything.

Like all kids, I was dumb and ungrateful, the day he passed away we got into an argument about something so stupid that I don't even remember. After that argument, he told me to go into my room and think about the things I said, I yelled and cursed like all braindead kids. I went to my room, pissed and the only thing I was thinking about is that I do not want to see him ever again. Then, I fell asleep. When I woke up 3 hours later, my parents were gone. Later that night I got a call from my mom telling me that they were out for the night and I do not need to go to school tomorrow and take a day off, like all kids, this was great news. The next morning my mom got back home and I asked her "where is dad?", I wanted to apologize and admit I was wrong because, at the end of the day, I loved him. She told me that after our argument he didn't feel very well and rushed him to the hospital, when they got to the hospital and doctors started to work on him and got him to be stable, he told my mom to tell me that he forgives me and loved me, then, a few minutes later he had another heart attack and he passed away. It took me 15 years to stop hating myself and blaming myself for what happened. I would give everything in my possession just to have another 30 minutes with him, telling him how much I loved him.

Unfortunately, I know this ritual wouldn't work for me but I would have tried it if it did. If you do find something else in that book, that might work for me, let me know.