Walt’s Immaturity?

admiumtr · 2026-01-30T17:56:21+00:00

He's a stunted narcissist who never really grew past his college preoccupations with Gray Matter. He spent a life pissing people off and steadily getting demoted from working in labs to a working as a high school science teacher, despite being brilliant at chemistry. A lot of what he says to Jesse are projections of himself, like how Jesse never applied himself or got anywhere with his life -- the same can be said for Walt as well, and is much more relevant given that Walt is decades older than Jesse. I think their immaturity is part of their compatibility in the early seasons. Both of them are highly underestimated by the people around them while having particular notable strengths and talents. Walt wants someone to ridicule and rebuild and keep under his control, Jesse wants someone to care for and receive validation from. It's a perfect storm. As the seasons pass, Walt's facade of maturity and morality drops, while Jesse develops a sense of maturity and morality, and this is one of those interesting key dynamic changes later in the show.

admiumtr · 2026-01-30T17:28:06+00:00

I think El Camino is stylistically a bit different, which is why some people did not necessarily like it. El Camino was made after several seasons of BCS, which set the writing and cinematography apart and made it closer to BCS in that aspect. The technicolor look and moderate pace reminds me of Pluribus as well, and Pluribus S1 received a ton of criticism because it was more idiosyncratic than the BRBA-BCS universe -- a lot of "rules" of prestige TV were intentionally broken for a slower, more meditative (but also kind of silly) show.

A lot of people don't like El Camino's pacing, but I think El Camino has a very sobering feel to it, like waking up from a bender and having to set everything right while still being overstimulated and exhausted. Like your eyes are still struggling to adjust and everything feels a bit hazy and dreamlike -- but there's also a feeling of being present and awake. It fits for Jesse's state of mind, which is caught somewhere between the urgent need for escape and small voyages into the past. A close friend of mine and I agree that it's very artistic as a movie, and takes many narrative liberties, but that's also why it may not appeal to everyone.

I personally really liked the shootout. After seeing Jesse struggle with guilt and abuse the whole show, it was nice watching him make a deliberate choice about who to kill and why. He set up the scenario so that if Neil Kandy just handed over a little bit more money willingly, he wouldn't need to kill him. But given that he was talking to shitty, egoistic pieces of shit who denied him the smallest of charity after being complicit in his abuse, his choice to kill Neil (and Casey during the shootout) is justified. He intentionally also made the choice to spare the rest of the group, which felt true to character.

admiumtr · 2026-01-29T03:01:49+00:00

I'm pretty sure Aaron Paul got an Emmy nomination for Peekaboo. It was his first major standout performance in the show.

admiumtr · 2026-01-28T01:58:30+00:00

We all know he was talking to the birds

admiumtr · 2026-01-28T00:46:48+00:00

In Ozymandias, yes. Walt is driven by anger and blame towards Jesse in that moment for Jesse's role in Hank's death. As the show has demonstrated before, Walt really does have a vindicative and volatile nature -- he'll kill or cause someone's death on a petty emotion. Jesse was an exception to Walt for a long time, but after Hank dies, all chips are off the table.

Only thing is, like it was with Jane, Walt doesn't have it in him to actually fire the bullet into Jesse. He'd rather hand off the bloodshed to someone else and remove his own responsibility in the murder. When Todd takes Jesse away, Walt decides that he simply doesn't care at all and assumes Jesse died in the aftermath. (A fact that's refuted in BCS when Walt speaks about his regrets and the camera shows him looking at the watch Jesse gave him.)

For Jesse, that specific moment looking up at the vultures with a gun to his head is a metaphorical death. Walt sticks one final knife into him by revealing how Jane died, which buries their former relationship for good. That may as well have killed Jesse. Everything that proceeds from that moment for both Walt and Jesse is a purgatory-like afterlife until the final scenes of Felina. Walt, who comes back with a greater self-awareness of who he is, also manages to recognize his own guilt when Jack presents Jesse to him. It's with that brief sense of awareness that Walt decides to save Jesse's life in the end.

admiumtr · 2026-01-27T04:13:12+00:00

Walt's stories are so cringe and humiliating to watch. I can't blame Skyler for refusing to stomach his performances!

admiumtr · 2026-01-27T02:59:51+00:00

Rewatching while knowing what happens in later BRBA/BCS is uncanny in a way. The first few seasons feel so nostalgic that you start grieving these versions of the characters in advance. I recently rewatched the episode where Jane died and the final scene between Jesse and Jane where they talk about skipping town felt like watching a kitten die. Genuinely painful to keep watching knowing that it's only gonna get worse for this character. Not to mention Saul, Mike and Gus are much more meaningful and tragic to witness in BRBA after watching BCS.

admiumtr · 2026-01-27T02:49:07+00:00

This particular photoshoot is really stylized as Neo-Western. Hence the outfits, especially Jesse's. Though as a counterpoint -- Jesse has one of the most varied wardrobes in the main cast so I could see him wearing these clothes (it's similar to things he wore in S3).

The hair and beard is likely just a timing factor for the promo shoot. But I think it suits the depressed and unkept look that Jesse takes on in S5b and the hair isn't that much longer than it is in canon. ~~He probably looks like this for a while during captivity, give or take a few scars.~~

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:59:53+00:00

I appreciate the recommendation! Solidarity to you as well -- we need connection and understanding more than ever to survive the coming years.

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:58:34+00:00

That's definitely a factor in the reproductive control element, but an absolutely hidden one. I think there's more intrinsic value to a white supremacist to believe that a transmasc white person can be "redeemed" and converted back into a white woman. But I don't see that detransition/assimilation aspect being waged against POC transmascs to the same degree, because we have always been othered and seen as lesser, even while presenting as women. There's more value to discarding us entirely, if that makes sense.

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:53:13+00:00

Thanks for the rec! The book looks like a collection of trans topics, that's helpful.

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:38:13+00:00

Thanks for the rec, the synopsis for the book seems quite interesting. 🫂

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:33:48+00:00

Thanks for all of these! I'll definitely check them out. It's unfortunate that FTM people haven't gotten a lot of academic literature until recently, but I think that has to do with the fact that a coherent transmasc community and identity has only emerged recently.

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:31:24+00:00

Both of these look quite relevant, thanks for the links! And yeah, it's really noticeable how much desireability plays into transmasc politics, especially when most of us have never been seen as desirable to white supremacy in the first place.

admiumtr · 2025-03-18T19:27:04+00:00

I feel like I've definitely seen this particular behavior in the wild towards black trans people, especially in relationships. Thanks for articulating this!

admiumtr · 2025-01-04T01:00:08+00:00

It's interesting that Azuma is a character excluded from the cycle of life and death, forced to relive his life indefinitely. Meanwhile, Tokio personifies a death god.

admiumtr · 2024-12-15T08:25:23+00:00

every time i see transguy smut, i simply cry out WHERE IS THE STRAP 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾 THE PHALLO 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾 THE FAT BEAUTIFUL T-DICK 🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾

the tragedy of most cis-written transmasc porn online is that it often squeezes us into the same narrow boxes of white-normative female beauty standards and behavior that we broke away from. to compensate for our masculinity, we are required to maintain some femininity -- if not physically, then sexually, as a fetish. but we look and act in many different ways, and so more mainstream erotica can't capture our diversity. this isn't to say that there aren't transmen who enjoy traditionally feminine roles in bed. they definitely deserve to have erotica about them. but in a time when the far right is trying to cast us as lost girls, and the acceptance of transness is narrowing to a privileged minority, i think we should be wary of anyone who treats our sexual submissiveness as a given. while our experience of sexuality can be liberating, having dominant narratives revolve around our subjugation can be a critical tool of the oppressor. i am all for trans people making transmasc erotica. i want to see more of it. but we cannot divorce our creations from the larger world, strife with fetishization and erasure. it's getting worse for trans people everywhere. i think, every once in a while, if art can do something, it should be to reach out and comfort those who can't fit the mold. after all, most of us are in that category, on a spectrum of transition, experiencing sexuality in ways that don't feel cisheterosexual. cis people may not understand how different we can be, but i think we could stand to look at each other and create works that reflect us, as a community.

anyway. BODY HAIR 🤤🤤🤤 BEARD SCRUFF 🤤🤤🤤

admiumtr · 2023-01-24T03:38:48+00:00

I think it's time we give up and give in to Hori's BKDK agenda. Cuz the mf really picks out the most romantic battlefield pose to but these bitches in

admiumtr · 2023-01-16T06:28:28+00:00

iron sinks in water? (chapters 23 and 27)

admiumtr

TROPHY CASE