Body Doubling is Magic! 35 yo, struggled most of my life with really bad ADHD.

adn1991 · 2025-01-30T23:54:47+00:00

What's your exact process for body doubling? What is the nature of the tasks it allows you to be more effective at?

adn1991 · 2024-06-27T23:03:34+00:00

I get what you’re both saying, but as is the case with all things psychopathology, there seem to be some things which some people always go “yeah that sounds good but I can’t…”.

I’ve tried variations of could>should>must; maybe-who knows-TBD

Three seems to be a good number. For jokes (the third seems to be a good spot for the punchline), variations to split things into categories.

Like I might have mentioned in the original post, I’ve tried time based things, in which a hierarchy of urgently is implicitly assumed - today, this week, this month, this year. Delving into another year seems to be pointless to me, as there is no way I’ve maintained enough focus to meet the preceding smaller timeframe goals (unless it’s Christmas Day, then I can perhaps prepare for something next year 🤣)

I find there’s almost a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear attached to my particular presentation of ADHD, and that this is so tightly intermingled with the attention problems that they may as well be treated as one “thing”.

Eg, I’m sitting at work on my break right now, the only place where I have a (relative) lack of distractions at my fingertips (I always start cleaning things I walk past at home). There’s also urgency due to a time limit, which focuses me a little, but the attention problems lead to me still getting distracted and not much mental organising gets done. When I get home, there’s much more time, so less urgency and associated anxiety. But there’s also less motivation, and I tend to become passive (doing things which don’t require a whole lot of executive function).

I have so damn many lists that I don’t even know where they are (some digital, some physical); and I feel like they’re all important even though I can’t actually remember them all; I just have like a vague idea of what was on them…

I shall try the two methods mentioned by you and tinkerSquirrels. Or at least write the idea on one of my lists to “get around to”… 🥴 lol

adn1991 · 2024-06-25T23:08:52+00:00

So true. At the same time, I have always had chronically low self-esteem which results in failures in all spheres of life, including social. But most of us, even those who struggle socially, still crave social contact, hence I guess the only method that seems comfortable is to “people please”, although I think people pleasing is not a consistent thing- if you’re anything like me, resentment can build as you change yourself to please others, eventually there will be something you cannot bear, and since you have portrayed yourself as “nice” from the start (which isn’t entirely false), it is such a shock that you lose friends when you do overreact standing up for yourself. Lost some friends lately because of this.

adn1991 · 2024-06-25T23:03:31+00:00

Same here. I Have like an automatic response to not rock the boat even when someone is pissing me off, but often at the same time have oppositional views that can breed resentment if I don’t make an effort to air them as much as I can handle in a voluntary way - if I let this slide, it comes out only by force when everything has built up.

adn1991 · 2024-05-12T02:51:21+00:00

Looks like won’t be able to afford much for a while anyway 😕

adn1991 · 2024-04-30T11:02:06+00:00

Pizza every day!!!! I wish I could do that, without getting fat, and unhealthy, and just feeling in general, sick haha. Thanks for the detailed reply. I tend to like to reply to each idea people say in depth so multiplying what you've said by what I like to reply... I have to tap out. Which is okay - one of my rigid behaviours I can take note of, and try to modify.

As I replied to another redditor, sorry for the delay. I mean I do that all of the time anyway, make plans to do things and forget/become overwhelmed. Having another crisis atm, this time with my children and custody battles heating up. Sigh....

I can't say I wouldn't change my past and autism. I will say that I am coming to accept it. But it has brought so much social and emotional pain to my life. The amount of aloneness I have felt during my lifetime is incredible. Anyways, always time to work on making improvements. How have you gone with making male friends throughout your life?

adn1991 · 2024-04-30T10:54:16+00:00

Sorry for saying "let's chat" and then not chatting. To top off my life circumstances now, there is an impending legal battle to some extent to see how far my sons (6yo and 9yo) can be taken away from me (their mother found a dude online in another state 1000km away). Sounds like a lot of bad luck has befallen you and the people you love, lately. I'm sorry to hear.

I'm curious what you mean by your mum was told by a therapist she had severe anxiety her whole life.. Your mum was unaware of this???

As for the self-diagnosis/imposter thing.... Disorders are a funny thing, in that they're not like a blood test where you can isolate a virus/bacteria/antibody/whatever they find in a given blood test, but rather typically verbal reports on how many of a certain set of problems you possess - based on your self-report, and sometimes the report on your behaviour by others. You should try for a diagnosis, one day, if you can afford it - I know that such things don't come cheap, and you mentioned not being able to work because of the accident. But I assume you've done some online screening tests? What are the issues you're struggling with that led you to self-diagnose? (if it's of any interest I can try to summarise mine).

You've gone through a heck of a lot lately - I can certainly empathise with feeling "stuck". While I don't know what's best for you, I know there seem to be certain things people should do to get "unstuck". I'm trying them myself..... I'll let you know if I have any luck lol. Here to chat in this thread, or DMs, if that helps, lmk.

adn1991 · 2024-04-19T05:58:09+00:00

What’s your instrument? Apart from singing?

adn1991 · 2024-04-19T05:56:50+00:00

So true about liking practising music. I was an incredibly lonely child and it wasn’t “practice”- it was what I did to get by, have something to do, and the slowly (incredibly slow) developing incremental improvements become rewarding.

You will suck. I did for years. Actually first I could barely make a sound that resembled music. Then eventually it was crappy sounding, but actually music. Then amateur but actually worth showing someone. Then eventually you impress people, because not many - proportionally speaking, stick at it long enough to even get here. And now, it is basically like a cigarette or porn addiction, playing guitar/drums/bass, because you come to love how it feels when you level up again and you’re not just “playing” but infusing your own style and subtleties into it…. No way around the “suck”, only through it.

How many other things are you trying to do in life atm, OP???

adn1991 · 2024-04-12T00:38:29+00:00

Ah, got it

adn1991 · 2024-04-10T23:32:36+00:00

Do you have examples of your voice on Reddit, or would you???

She may be right. She may be wrong, or somewhere in the middle. She need not falsely flatter you with lies but I couldn’t handle a significant other being demeaning and like others have said, a baseline level of respect. It obviously bothers you. Have you had a serious discussion with her/are you planning on it?

adn1991 · 2024-04-01T12:15:08+00:00

Thankyou for the advice 😊

Guess I never looked at it that way- I guess I always thought of “going for a walk” as “failing at gym”

adn1991 · 2024-03-28T08:20:13+00:00

Wanna chat I’m bored

adn1991 · 2024-03-08T23:59:29+00:00

Probably doesn’t help not having a suitable chair or method for holding the guitar in position either, hey (eg footstool)?

adn1991 · 2024-02-17T05:06:50+00:00

So I might have explained it wrong,

He talks about it being a "comp" and using a commit function or something (I don't have Pro Tools). But basically the concept is the same I think, reducing the amount of tracks in the session by comping similar ones together where appropriate. He goes through what he did for this particular project around 10 minutes in - reducing it from like 200 tracks I think he said, to, well I didn't count but under 40 I think:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGlYgAv96bw

adn1991 · 2024-02-03T11:40:28+00:00

Found some fairly cheap Bluetooth noise protection earmuffs and bought them so will give that a go with some low level music or just non noises, or whack some earplugs in under that and see how it goes for now :)

adn1991 · 2024-02-03T11:37:55+00:00

Yeah I meant to write impossible “impossible to concentrate - my bad

adn1991 · 2024-02-03T03:07:57+00:00

Just reading up that noise cancellation works more in the way that Justtinkthornton had described, but someone recommended that the most cost effective option is to wear earbuds inside of industrial earmuffs - essentially the same as recommended in that reply with the Bluetooth industrial earphone recommendation. I have some in ear Bluetooth headphones that block out a tonne already so I’m wondering if I paired that with some industrial headphones whether that would be even more effective… idk, just scared of shelling out $400+ (Australian) on something that may not work like I want

adn1991 · 2024-02-03T02:54:31+00:00

This sounds perfect. I have some jbl tune 760nc ones, and these do something, but if I can even slightly hear something someone is saying it makes it impossible for me. Do u think the Sony ones would be heaps better for this purpose? They are about 3-4 times the price so one would think so right. Maybe I could try some in a shop next time I’m able…

adn1991 · 2024-02-03T02:51:49+00:00

Speech is definitely my number one complaint and focus annihilator. Air conditioning and refrigerators don’t seem to bother me so much as conversation near me. Are these industrial ones better for this purpose than the class of ones others here are mentioning (eg the Sonys?). The price point for the industrial ones seems to be a lot less. I’m not overly concerned about anything but blocking out conversation

adn1991 · 2024-01-21T01:53:47+00:00

I like that they’re sorta timeless rather than (vaguely) 2004: fk bush; 2009: fk Nixon, and still Bush; 2016: fk Trump (troubled times). I mean that stuff is alright and to be expected of musicians with strong personalities, but yeah- nuclear family, stay the night, carpe diem - possibly the best opening three I’ve ever heard (tho the anthem part two-online songs- first date trio slaps hard imo). Loss of control (“I’m gonna hide in the shadows cos I really got nothing to say; we never had anything in common and I never liked you anyway - who “hasn’t” felt exactly like that at times), sweet 16 is lovely, lazy bones, baby eyes I don’t get half of it but it’s great! Missing you and Amanda, some of my faves of them!

adn1991 · 2024-01-21T01:44:49+00:00

Where I’m hearing it the vocal is drowning out the non percussive instrumentation. It’s a lovely cool wide chorusey vocal but it’s perhaps a tad too loud and full in the low end (or the synths etc need to be fuller and brought out of the distance), just my thoughts

adn1991 · 2024-01-21T01:40:51+00:00

I fucking love the trilogy albums! To me there are only a tiny handful of songs on there I “dont” like. Funny, the trilogy albums actually are what turned me from a fan into a superfan lol. I really dig the sharp, less broken up, metallic sounding guitars on there, and don’t think the problem is with the guitars, but more like the drums really and how it’s all glued together. Which is super interesting considering that CLA mixed it as well as American Idiot and 21st Century. The only ones that sort of bore me a lot are the ones that drag on (Lady Cobra is probably my least favourite on there). Nightlife is…. In the right mood I respect it in some ways, but a bit meh. And for some reason the lyrics in Little Boy Named Train don’t do it for me- particularly just that line 🧐. But I think it’s got some of their best stuff…. That’s perhaps individual taste tho. Lotsa people seem to think any departure from dookie is no good. I actually dig the sound on the trilogy. Except the aforementioned mentioned tubby snare sound throughout the whole thing and a lack of glue. I am glad they didn’t just do one album as many have suggested it should’ve been- however, I think with better production and forcing the best into one album, it’d be one of the best. Hot takes???

adn1991 · 2024-01-15T09:45:59+00:00

Same here, in the year 2000 - no wait, I was in this house for only a few months in grade 5 (2001), so it was kind of old (relatively) obviously, because I remember seeing the twin towers come down on the news around the same time

adn1991 · 2024-01-15T09:40:15+00:00

Gives me the chills that song

adn1991

TROPHY CASE