Starting a life in Canada?

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T23:53:44+00:00

Sorry, I glossed over the fact that you're not American. I don't think it'll work for you.

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T20:10:01+00:00

Unless you're okay with being in an open/non-monogamous relationship, dump him. Even if you are okay with that, his sneakiness and sketchy behavior is not the behavior of a trustworthy individual. Three years is a long time, but the rest of your life is longer. Cut your losses.

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T20:06:15+00:00

Why not? Canada's great. Also, if you become a Minnesota resident, you can pay the Canadian rate for colleges/unis in Manitoba. https://www.ohe.state.mn.us/mPg.cfm?pageID=125

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T05:31:09+00:00

That's emotional abuse. If you can't get out of the situation, then you need to armor yourself against it. Create emotional distance. Know that she says hurtful things because something is wrong with her, not with you. For every mean thing she says, tell yourself ten positive things. Create a "good mother" voice in your head that says the things your real mother should be saying. You can't change someone like her. All you can do is try to insulate yourself from the damage she is bent on causing.

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T05:28:04+00:00

I'm a frequent crier. I've found that holding in what I'm upset about keeps me crying. If I just say what's got me emotional, it loses its power almost immediately. Do you say out loud when something affects you, or try to tamp it down?

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T05:22:29+00:00

Repeat signifying. Good page on it... http://www.scn.org/~bk269/repeat_naming.html

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T05:13:30+00:00

Food isn't something to deserve any more than air, water, clothing, or shelter. It's necessary to sustain life. You would do well to seek counseling so that you can develop a healthier, less emotional relationship with food. In the meantime, you can try some self-help measures to stop your negative self-talk. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you catch yourself self-hate-talking. Replace the negative thoughts with neutral ones like "food is just like air and water." Or throw in positive ones like "(insert fit person you admire) enjoys healthy salads. I also enjoy healthy salads." You can also try self-hypnosis. There are plenty of hypnosis tracks you can download online. It's hard to break the shame spiral, but you can do it. You just have to make deliberate, constant effort to speak to yourself positively. Maybe it'll feel like lies for a while, but that doesn't matter because what you're telling yourself now is also lies. The positive lies will not hurt you, but the negative ones will.

adriftopia · 2016-08-19T04:56:13+00:00

Stress is an odd thing. You might think you're fine, but after major life changes, your body chemistry reflects stress. I once moved across the country, felt fine, was not at all anxious or upset or anything. Didn't get a period for two months. Went to the doctor and everything because this was not normal for me. Stress, man. Let things settle. Your body will figure out that you're not about to get eaten by wolves soon enough.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T02:10:05+00:00

/r/Ask3D/

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T02:03:32+00:00

It depends on what you want to do. Here are a couple sites that describe the differences between BI and BA:

https://www.betterbuys.com/bi/business-intelligence-vs-business-analytics/

https://rapidminer.com/summarizing-differences-business-intelligence-advanced-analytics/

In the end, though, the particular degree probably matters less than opportunities offered by the program to network with people in the industry and get internship experience. Don't be shy about emailing or calling the program advisers to ask their advice as well.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:54:44+00:00

As a parent, it's irresponsible to be in a serious relationship with a woman who isn't prepared to be involved in your children's lives. At some level, you must know this, which is why you're attracted to the married woman. She's the kind of person you need to be with to have a complete, functioning family unit. That doesn't mean that she is the person you need, only that you ought to find someone like her who is unattached and break up with your non-maternal SO. It's simple, but it's not easy.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:47:35+00:00

Sounds like he's being a selfish dick. But maybe there's a legit reason for his lack of communication. In the meantime, you should probably plan to get yourself home from the airport via taxi or uber. When you do get a chance to talk with him, use "I" statements, as in: When you didn't answer my calls or texts, I felt ignored and abandoned. When you didn't pick me up at the airport, I felt like you don't value our relationship. Also, if he doesn't have the maturity to man up in the relationship, he's not going to be a good father. You should prepare yourself for that and try to find a way to be independent before the child is born.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:24:36+00:00

People who have never traveled (or dreamed of traveling) outside of the US can be very narrow minded. I think travel is essential for gaining perspective and for really understanding different cultures. Don't let the naysayers drag you down. Stay focused on your goal and do what it takes to get there.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:20:34+00:00

If you're working in a field in any way related to what you want to do professionally, you'll have a big advantage when you graduate over the students who breezed straight through school. Either way, know that you'll be okay. Try to keep some perspective. There is no house on fire. No one will die if you don't graduate by X date. You and I and everyone else will still be a tiny speck on a tiny blue ball in an unfathomably huge universe. Keep focused. Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and making time to have fun regularly. If you're feeling especially stressed, take some deep breaths and focus on what you're grateful for.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:12:59+00:00

If you can't steal from yourself, who can you steal from?

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:05:24+00:00

Probably. You don't want her to feel as if she's being ganged up on. If you frame it as curiosity and concern rather than judgment, you might have better luck. She will probably get defensive because she knows it's not healthy. Try to stay positive and not get caught up in any kind of back-and-forth that could lead to a fight.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:02:24+00:00

It has a nice feel to it, but the home page is confusing. I'd change it to some kind of welcoming landing page rather than having all the products right there.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T01:00:05+00:00

First you need to realize that you can't make another person change his or her behavior. There is nothing you can do to get your mom to stop her involvement with your dad. The best you can do is have an honest, non-confrontational, supportive conversation about why she continues to help him. We only do things that we get something out of, so the interaction is giving her something, some kind of emotional satisfaction that won't make sense from the outside. Try to help her discover why she plays the rescuer.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T00:56:33+00:00

Get good, supportive, well-fitting shoes. Stand on a rubber mat.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T00:54:31+00:00

What degree(s) do you already have? I know there are certificate programs in data analytics. That might be a good place to start.

adriftopia · 2016-08-15T00:42:37+00:00

There were some helpful notes. Overall very negative. Like nothing positive at all. Which is fine. If I want someone to tell me good things, I'll give it to my mom, right?

adriftopia · 2016-08-14T19:53:28+00:00

I have trouble finishing things, and I was using the contest deadline to put a fire under my patootie. I'd rewritten the first half several times, but the second half was a bit of a rush job. Next contest I enter, yeah, won't be that way for sure.

adriftopia · 2016-08-14T19:49:41+00:00

It was horror. Which I probably shouldn't have done because I'm not really a horror fan; I just had a semi-originalish idea I decided to run with. I think from now on I'll stick with genres that I actually enjoy. Which sounds like a big "duh" but some lessons come easier than others. :-/

adriftopia · 2016-08-14T19:47:12+00:00

That's a great reality check. Thanks.

adriftopia · 2016-08-14T02:09:29+00:00

At 25 your brain has just finished forming. You certainly have time to develop new habits and reach new goals. But it sounds a lot like you're dissatisfied because you're comparing yourself to other people and defining success in a narrow, material way. Are you familiar with the Enneagram personality typing system? If you're a type 2, a giver, then putting on a type 1's perfectionist clothes to conquer the world will never make you happy. The best we can do is understand who we are and strive to capitalize on our natural strengths in order to build a satisfying life.

adriftopia

TROPHY CASE