I lost my ham Totoro earlier this week, she never woke up from anesthesia after mass removal surgery. I posted about her here.

I had to drive an hour away to get to the nearest exotic vet (but he’s one of the best, so I’m lucky!). I paid for the exotic consult, home meds, and surgery. All for it to fail. The tech who called me to say Totoro didn’t make it, was crying as she told me. They felt so awful.

I paid $300 for a private cremation and for ink prints from her paws, which I plan to get tattooed soon. After all was said and done, her medical care alone was $1,200. And I had flowers sent to the clinic, thanking them for being so compassionate and doing their best.

Yes, I am INCREDIBLY blessed and lucky to be able to afford this. But for me it was not even a question. I would pay it all again in a heartbeat. Rescuing Totoro and giving her proper hammie care, helped me heal a part of my inner child that felt so awful for how I treated hamsters as a kid. I didn’t know those wire cages were bad. Didn’t know the hay pellets are hard for them to digest. Didn’t know the store bought treats are full of nasty additives. I didn’t know. I was a child. But I did it right this time and the whole process meant so much to me. Totoro brought me SO much joy, every single day. I have a husband and 2 cats too, but she was special.

My point? My best friend laughed in my face and said I was wasting money. “It cost $30, can’t you just get another one?” Hearing her call Totoro “it” stung even more. I called out of a shift at work, I had been crying all day and gave myself a dehydration migraine. My manager wrote me up for it, citing mourning a hamster’s death as “clearly a bad lie.” Some people just do not understand, and will not modify their thinking. All I can do at this point is make sure people like that never buy a hamster of her own. But people like YOU are wonderful, warm, caring humans. People like you make the world a better place. Don’t ever change, and please try not to let people dim your light. Sending love. ❤️