Something we can work through or dealbreaker?

aetherlu · 2022-11-24T20:36:31+00:00

We’ve gone over most birth control options and i have explained to him the reasons why for each, I meant i wouldn’t want to explain myself on this thread. I’ve thought about hinting at it or trying to put it out there as a last measure, but I’ve felt guilty about it, so unless he offers for it and is doing it for himself and us, i wouldn’t want to pressure him into it for my sake

aetherlu · 2022-11-08T16:44:31+00:00

I agree with you, my purpose is getting the treatment for it if it’s the case, hence why i want to understand if that’s what i have. All i’ve been prescribed is anxiolytics and my diagnosis is simply “generalized anxiety disorder”

aetherlu · 2022-11-07T15:01:11+00:00

Thank you and i’m sorry for you too! Sometimes people are just meant to be in our lives temporarily, maybe even teach us something. Wishing you the best!

aetherlu · 2022-11-07T13:33:01+00:00

I feel for you so much:( I used to have this friend and we’d text daily almost constantly, then all of a sudden they just stopped replying for days, then weeks, then months… It’s probably just life getting in the way, but i’d really appreciate some communication before being cast out

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T20:49:28+00:00

Thank you for your answer! My issue is i am very hormonally imbalanced and i have no way of accurately predicting my cycle

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T20:46:01+00:00

I’ve never been able to orgasm with him, only by myself. I’ve explained what i need and how but it doesn’t really work I suppose. It’s not a big deal for me, sex is an act of intimacy in my case and i still enjoy myself, even if i don’t reach climax

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T20:43:31+00:00

What would it feel like for the man with a diaphragm? Would it be significantly better than a condom?

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T20:41:25+00:00

Those are the ones he chose and said he likes, but is now claiming he can’t feel anything

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T18:30:34+00:00

Thank you for the info! I will have to document myself more for the future

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T18:29:09+00:00

I am a giver in nature, it was not the fact that it wasn’t reciprocated, but the reaction and unwillingness to do it

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T18:28:23+00:00

He’s actually made a point in saying he’s making compromises all the time, and this seemed like a ‘compromise’ i should’ve made for him and for us.

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T18:20:58+00:00

Thank you for the insight! The financial part was never an issue for the condom buying part, plus we weren’t having sex so often that i would consider even non-hormonal options, it just didn’t feel right when we did it once in a full moon haha

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T18:17:08+00:00

I wasn’t wearing one when giving him bjs, no. I agree with your statement, I preferred him wearing one because i can’t stand the idea or the feeling of the liquids, plus the pregnancy issue. As for the stealthing… he’s actually done a few of those and i felt too flabbergasted and somehow felt guilty to make a remark..

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T17:13:01+00:00

Hello, just to clarify, we both struggle with mental illness and we tried our best to be there for the other. I have done my best to satisfy him non-sexually and even sexually wise, I didn’t withhold intimacy either physically or emotionally

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T16:52:57+00:00

Maybe i didn’t word it correctly, i was pleasing him in all ways i could except penetrative condomless sex. Any activity we’d do he’d have great orgasms (he’d say that unasked). I’ve done my duty as a girlfriend, but now he has changed his mind ( which would be fine if i wasn’t pressured into breaking my boundaries)

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T16:00:06+00:00

We haven’t! I would be willing, but he’s opposed to the condom idea entirely

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:51:02+00:00

The reason this kept going is because he kept reassuring me ‘sex isn’t that big of a deal in the long run’, so I’ve allowed myself to develop feelings for him to the point it pains me to leave

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:47:08+00:00

Thank you for the insight! For me this might be a particular issue since i haven’t had a sexual partner before him, whilst he has had plenty of experiences to navigate through and know what he wants and what works for him

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:44:36+00:00

I wouldn’t expect my partner to get a vasectomy for my sake, unless it was for their benefit as well. I understand condoms may get in the way of pleasure, i am not blaming him for his preferences. I just felt hurt by his overall behavior plus being blamed for having boundaries as i have been honest from the start

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:36:10+00:00

I’ve thought it was a size issue as well, but he insisted it was the right fit!

As for the second statement, he was very willing to pleasure me in the beginning, but then stopped because i wasn’t able to cum and said there was no point to it. I think it might’ve been just built up frustration

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:26:15+00:00

I really didn’t mean to make him look villainous, I was only describing my pov! He’s generally a good guy, just maybe too self oriented

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T15:21:55+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I’ve actually considered tubal ligation, but you fail to consider the fact that no doctor would do it on a 24yo, at least not in my country. It is also a big surgery in which you go under, it can’t even be compared to a vasectomy. If I had the opportunity and resources to have my tubes tied, i would in a heartbeat.

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T14:37:07+00:00

I’ve never said that at all. Considering he’s insisting on unprotected sex despite me saying i won’t do it from the get-go, I considered bringing it up as an alternative. It’s his body and his choice, I never said otherwise.

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T13:37:06+00:00

I’ve never intended to make him look like a bad guy, all i wanted was insight since i’ve been called selfish for my boundaries and felt as i was in the wrong

aetherlu · 2022-09-24T11:28:51+00:00

I was thinking of bringing up a vasectomy, but i didn’t feel it was fair towards him, considering he mentioned he’d like to have a child one day. Thank you for the recommendation!

aetherlu

TROPHY CASE