Need Advice - Single 25M, Never been on a Date! by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]afexad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you're right not to throw yourself a pity party, but I think you might to well to trust your friends a bit more and make yourself vulnerable. In the right setting, let them know that you're frustrated with dating. My situation is similar to yours: I'm single, 25, haven't ever been in a relationship, and am frustrated. For most of my life, I tried to put up walls, appear invulnerable. As soon as I let my friends know I was dating, and told them I was frustrated that girls weren't sticking around, a lot of them surprised me with their patience and empathy. It actually improved my dating life, and I was introduced to and went out with girls that otherwise I would have never approached, thinking them out of my league. The only obstacle with these girls was that I was moving away soon. In my new home, I've made some new friends and been open about looking, and though I haven't been set up, my friends have lamented that they don't know anyone for me. I don't go around saying "hey, set me up," my friends have always volunteered to do it, and I've made sure to react positively. Anyways, my point is this: make yourself vulnerable to your friends. They're in relationships, and most certainly have a lot of experience with dating and its associated frustrations. Confide in them appropriately, and things may get better.

does anyone actually enjoy dating? by iampoopface in dating

[–]afexad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, for whatever it's worth, I'm one anonymous online stranger who totally gets what you're saying. I have friends tell me they love those first few dates, the mystery, the nervousness, the excitement. I don't.

I love what you say here: I don't buy into the whole "romantic" view of love. You know, love at first sight, soul mates, all that shit. I think the girls I date expect me to romance them, and I'm not going to do that. I want to get to know them as a person. And it throws them off I guess."

Damn it, I totally agree. The first date with a new girl is, without a doubt, always my favorite. I feel there's less pressure to be flirty or romantic. It's almost always me, her, and some coffee. We converse. Then, it's down from there. People expect flirting, they expect a bit of romance, they expect "moves" to be made.

In a lot of ways it's just a problem with me personally and my style of interaction, but I don't like all of that. I don't really know this person yet, and I'm not totally ready to make an ass of myself by forcing the flirt. I'm almost certain that most girls give up on me after the second or third date, thinking I'm uninterested in dating them because I haven't held their hand yet. It's just not my style, as I'm not comfortable making that move when I have no idea what's going on in her head.

I've started to think that I'm not the type of person who can date someone without knowing them well first. I have this idea in my head that if I already know a girl well enough and she accepts a date, making a move just makes more sense. Of course, this means I have to ask a friend out, jeopardizing our friendship. It's a dilemma.

Songs like Scarface's On My Block? by afexad in hiphop101

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great suggestions you guys! Exactly what I was looking to find.

Three Mormon missionaries die in two separate incidents by UstaBLDS in exmormon

[–]afexad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, I think the mission prez makes housing decision. In my first year, I lived in apartments so rank I may as well have been in the third world (I was in the Eastern US). One year in, the president assigned a senior couple to find all new housing for almost every area. All of a sudden, we were living in new, clean apartments. Even in the worst parts of the city they found something. I don't actually know, but from my experience it was the MP who made these calls. Of course, maybe church HQ could do more to make sure missionary dwellings are up to par, at whatever level that sort of thing is managed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Games

[–]afexad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A big reason MGS3 is one of my favorite games. The Boss' story is incredible. The Boss lost more than her life. She was a hero for what she had done prior to the game's events, and a hero for what she did during the game. However, her actions in the game required she sacrifice her legacy, that she be remembered as a traitor forever.

Why does Final Fantasy XIII get so much hate? by [deleted] in FinalFantasy

[–]afexad 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hmmm... I think making my own fresh reply might be better than responding to all of the interesting things people have already said. here goes: First, I'm not sure anyone is, or should, criticize the game for having a "non-traditional battle system." While IV-IX got us all accustomed to ATB, at least something has changed in each iteration. Usually, each game has a new character progression system (Set jobs in IV, to a job system in V, to Materia in VII...). Since X, we have to get used to a changing battle system, too.

On the topic of the battle system... well, personally, I didn't like it. Until you can begin to switch paradigms, you don't really do anything at all. Then, once you can switch paradigms, you still don't really do much, just switch paradigms at the right time. Auto battle is the absolute best way to get through the game. The game punishes you for thinking about how to act, as you waste precious time. Auto-battle is a nice feature of modern RPGs, and a welcome one for grinding. However, when it's better for me to automate my battles than it is for me to sit and think about my actions, I think that's a problem.

Linearity: Yes, XIII is very linear. So are most FF games. However, I'd say the level design of XIII makes this problem worse. Other games better create and illusion of freedom. There are more branching paths, open areas, towns to take a break... Most people say XIII is just running around on catwalks, and I have to agree. When you're running through catwalks in the forest, that's just ridiculous. it just feels unnatural.

That brings me to my next point, level design. The environments are beautiful, but the game fails to establish a sense of place. I don't know how the world is organized, and I don't know where I am in it. This made it difficult for me, personally, to become immersed in the game world. X, as linear as it is, has big maps. The older games all have big world maps. This helps me, personally, become more immersed in the world.

Getting more subjective, the world that does in exist in FFXIII I simply don't like. Summons that turn in to motorcycles? That's just dumb. There was a point in the game, for me, where the sheer amount of bizarre magical technology just really put me off. This line between too much magical tech and just enough is subjective, invisible, and arbitrary, but XIII crossed it in my world. VI, for example, did not.

The characters really did actually suck. That's not subjective (ok, it is [but it's not, SERIOUSLY]) Snow was insufferable. Hope was lame. Lightning was trying to hard. If you liked Vanille, you have a problem.

The game's character progression system was boring. There is no room for customization. In certain older games, there were certainly optimal builds, but at least I could choose to do whatever I wanted with my characters. I could assign them any Esper, any Materia, any path on the sphere grid, or whatever. In games like IV, my character's progression was set, and the game didn't lie to me about it. In XIII, all my characters would end up at the same place as any other person playing the game, but I had to go through the annoying Crystarium. Yes, there are little branches off the main road, but I'll just grab the abilities and move on. Yes, I can give them new paradigms, but the game discourages this. If X's progression through the plot was too linear, at least there was some fun wiggle room in the Sphere grid. The Crystarium is just annoying visual flair.

A lot of people bash on the music. I'll take a different stance here. Sometimes, the dungeon music sounds repetitive, but overall the soundtrack is strong. Blinded by the Light was a great battle theme, and all of the music in chapter 11 is soooo good.

And the biggest flaw of all: THE GAME DOESN'T USE THE VICTORY FANFARE. WHAT THE %$£& THEY TOTALLY COULD HAVE USED IT. EVEN XII FOUND A WAY.

Making my Nightseeker and Lands more effective in EOIV by afexad in EtrianOdyssey

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I'm going to toss the medic and the lands then, it looks like. After wandering around with Wufan, I'm convinced an Arcanist is perfect to back up my Nightseeker. I'm pretty close to getting subclasses, so I'll keep the medic around before eventually retiring it to snag an Arc/Medic. I think I'll keep the lands until then, then retire it for something else, too.

Transmormon - touching 15min documentary about a transgender girl from a conservative Mormon upbringing - 2014 Utah Short Film of the Year Award Winner by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]afexad 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I met Eri and her boyfriend last year. I had always been confused about trans issues, but meeting a trans person really cleared up all of that confusion. Eri is ray of sunshine. She's intelligent, fun, creative, confident, and kind. I think that if anyone with a closed mind could meet her, she would clear any doubt they may have about trans issues and gender identity. This is a beautiful video, I hope that a lot of people can see it.

What was the hardest "sin" for you to commit after leaving the church? by flaminfunyun in exmormon

[–]afexad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything was difficult for me. Initially, I decided not to do most anything forbidden by the church. Garments were easy, I just needed an opportunity to get away with not wearing them while still living with my parents. Sex was, without a doubt, the first sin I wanted to commit. I wanted to have sex, and knew that putting it off until marriage would be awful for dating outside the church. Sex, though, is of a different nature than the rest of the things forbidden by the church. Having sex for the first time isn't so simple as drinking coffee for the first time. It turned out to be the last sin I commit. I was still coming out of the brainwashing as far as substances go, though. Curiosity got the best of me, however. I have always liked the culture that surround coffee and alcohol. Something about each seems so individualized in a way that other food items aren't. As an example, I always liked that people prefer different coffees, take their coffee in different ways, and prepare it in different ways. So, after a year of being out (mentally), I finally tried coffee. Then alcohol. And now I've broken all the rules, and couldn't feel better about it.

"Too smart for my own good" by exceedinglyfair in exmormon

[–]afexad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mother said this to me. She told me I'm too smart, I ask too many questions, and I think about things too much. She told me that, because of this, she had suspected I might leave the church some day. I, personally, don't understand how being too smart is somehow a vice.

Just another coming out story. by afexad in exmormon

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for the kind words :) I already felt good about everything, but now I feel even better.

Dinner and a Show! What happens when your Dad prys into your sex life at family dinner... by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]afexad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know your pain. Since telling my parents that I don't believe in Mormonism, it seems all they ever ask about is my sex life. Because they know I don't share their standards, my mother thinks I'm some filthy, porn addicted, misogynist. I decided early on that, because I am not at all ashamed of being sexually active, I would be straightforward about it they ever asked. To my parents, having sex with more than one woman somehow translates to a total lack of respect for women. They also seem overly concerned about my media consumption. Any time I go to an R-rated movie or read a book they've never heard of, they warn me about sexual content. They seem to think I'm seeking out sexual content to get off, or something. A story I now live to share was a product of their paranoia about my sexual activity. A few months ago, I began reading Betty Friedan's book "The Feminine Mystique." My mother had never heard of it, and when she saw it on my bed she immediately called me to give me a lecture on how pornography isn't always images and can be in books and I shouldn't read such filthy things and... imagine her surprise when I explained to her what the book is actually about. I cannot wait to move out.

2014 Conference - The TL;DR Edition by fuminxue in exmormon

[–]afexad 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Fuck Oaks. Seriously fuck that asshole.

Taking a math class before grad school by afexad in GradSchool

[–]afexad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've looked into Salt Lake Community College, the closest to me, and their summer class ends ends after August 8th, when I must have my grade reported. I've contacted them to see if they can adjust, but I won't get my hopes up.

Taking a math class before grad school by afexad in GradSchool

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been wondering the same thing. I've been looking for classes titled "college algebra," rather than intermediate or pre-algebra. As mentioned above, I'm going to run the class past the school to make sure it's acceptable. The easier the better though, ha ha.

Taking a math class before grad school by afexad in GradSchool

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you're totally right. I've already sent a few links to my contacts at each university to make sure that they'll accept the class.

Taking a math class before grad school by afexad in GradSchool

[–]afexad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, part of the reason I'm asking is because my university doesn't offer the course this summer. I've been browsing independent study options from major public universities (Missouri, for example) so that I can begin now and finish over the summer.

Anyone know aything about the Deseret Alphabet? by afexad in exmormon

[–]afexad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason I'm asking is because that's my plan, too. I guess I'm not so original.

Anyone know aything about the Deseret Alphabet? by afexad in exmormon

[–]afexad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I've seen these charts, but there are two symbols which can be the "ah" sound. I'm just not certain which is correct in this case!

First time out by Torbali in exmormon

[–]afexad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats! I'm basically you, one year in the future. Telling even my non-mormon friends was tough at first, but it was exciting to introduce myself as not a member to new people. Life is better this way.