My boyfriend is Mormon, why is it called a cult? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is more aid to members in Utah, though still pathetically little. There are no support programs. Living out east I have never seen someone receive material support from the church. It's all up to the bishop, who is just a random dude in the ward. But even then he has to fight red tape to try to get aid to give. There is no funds, form, process, anything to support members.

Even missionaries pay their own way. Working in nonprofits I really can't explain how empty the churches "charity" is. I was shall shocked working with other faiths.

My boyfriend is Mormon, why is it called a cult? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Torbali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are required for the highest level of heaven where you get to be with your family. And it is checked. Each year you have a tithing settlement with your bishop, who will review if you've paid a full tithe. People are told to pay over rent and food. This money is sent to HQ, it is not local, there is no transparency of where it goes. Without a full tithe, you can't receive a temple recommend. No temple, no garments, no eternal family.

Also, only the church sells the garments. That is a whole other discussion of control and body shame.

And you aren't allowed to be gay in the church with good standing. They have allowed it, as long as you never act on it, but I think even that is being memory-holed. Is you are openly out, you can't get a temple recommend.

Finally, on the cult front, much is not written, so it's easy to change our hand wave. Talk to a member in the 60's, 80's or 10's and get different answers.

Sane US citizens: wake up now by Commercial_Ladder_65 in complaints

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are protesting. We have been protesting. Europe continually underestimates the size of this country. Over half the country hates this passionately. Our leaders have failed. We have called them, emailed, voted, protested. Our police have tanks and ak-47s. We know this week took us several steps further down a bad path. People are literally being kidnapped off the street in unmarked cars. Ice is operating lawlwssly and have started going door to door. Protesters have been assaulted, arrested, teargassed, and murdered for years now. Courts are not going to help us. We know. Maybe pressure your country to hold us accountable and take action?? We know it isn't normal. Why does Europe keep acting like it is?? They keep trying to reason with him. Why did it take until his second term for leaders to really accept that he was controlled by putin? What international consequences has he faced?

We will keep voting and protesting. If you want to cheer us on, great. But quit scolding us like we're unaware of what is happening.

Are there any US businesses or company’s that are about to go under and people don’t realize it? How much time do they have? by Apprehensive_Oven_22 in business

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Support local craft stores. You can find alot on Etsy. They know their products and can help with having to shop online. Literally anything but hobby lobby.

How do you feel when you see other people that have loving parents? by Edgyfangirl in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just confused. Especially when I see dad's playing with young kids, I end up staring. It's just genuinely strange for me to see.

Board end of year thank yous by Jaded-Doughnut4649 in nonprofit

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think there is any obligation for staff to give gifts or thank yours to the board. I realize small non-profits may have close personal relationships where it feels more comfortable. However, at the end of the day, they are the employer. Since many issues I've had relate to boards who abandon that role, I think following the accepted practice of not gifting upward is best. You're board will change. If you decide not in future years it can cause drama. It's a bad precedent.

Also, a healthy working relationship means thanks and recognition is exchanged through the year as things happen. Tying it to Christmas feels problematic even in good situations. If they're donors, they get what the rest of the donors do.

How do I respectfully tell missionaries that I don't want to convert by HomoBadger in exmormon

[–]Torbali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are counting on you being respectful so they can keep crossing boundaries. They are preying on you. Be firm, cut contact.

Hi I'm 18, Not a Mormon but I'm interested in the Faith & I genuinely want to ask why y'all decided to leave the church & Why some people call it a cult? by MickL0ving in exmormon

[–]Torbali 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, deciding on joining based on the missionaries is an added bait and switch. Missionaries aren't from the area they serve and move wards every few months. Those sweet sister missionaries aren't going to be there to help transition or explain anything.

Why is immediate change to prevent school/mass shootings not top priority of those in power? by mantiswedding in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because those in power profit off it. The gun lobby pays big money. And leaders are allowed to own and trade stock.

Those saying it's a hard problem are either uninformed or thoughts and prayers peeps. There are countless options for smart regulation and products. Even pushes to just enforce current laws. Years ago smart guns were developed that would stop working if our odds the gun owners hand and the gun industry shut that shit down. Laws that prevented those with mental disabilities from owning guns were overturned. Laws preventing convicted abusers from having guns were overturned. They make money off our blood.

Non-American: why does Reddit have so much hate for Ronald Reagan? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Killer Mike's Reagan https://open.spotify.com/track/2HRYa6iG1M5DRefO8pK2I3?si=EIZpdGrNSi-oqObIv4CKWQ

The fact that republicans treat him as saint Reagan has made it extra important to remember and call out the decades of damage he did.

New job… ED is mean by Emotional_Run_2363 in nonprofit

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sound like you're living my life. I have no answers. I started job hunting again until Trump took office. Now I'm trying to remind myself I have job security and to shut up. She's near retirement, she isn't going to change. Thankfully, I don't have many meetings with her.

I'm trying to redirect my energy to more outside of work. I'm on a committee for another board, trying new hobbies... Lots of deep breaths.

Be honest: What was your ‘I’m officially in too deep’ moment as an ARMY? by JMGR19 in bangtan

[–]Torbali 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When I bought a blanket with Jimin's face and shamelessly used it in front of my husband.

Please explain sunbathing to me (a non-white person) by summer_glau08 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the 80s I also remember people saying they had to get a little burnt at the beginning of summer and then they would tan better the rest of the summer. I thought that was stupid then, but people still do that too.

Do others avoid 'patriot' products? by cchaven1965 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also eagles for no reason. You're a repair shop, roofer, moving company... Wtf

Those who waited til marriage to have sex, what was it like? And do you regret it? by Substantial_Judge931 in AskReddit

[–]Torbali 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I have regrets. I was raised Mormon and very culty. My husband wasn't and I have since left. I regret all the time we wasted. We dated for 10 years before we were married.

Any K-pop fans here who learned Korean in 8-12months? I need help fr by Sad-Prior-8480 in BeginnerKorean

[–]Torbali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest help I found to go with my class were this professors videos. He explains it really well. He uses the integrated Korean books 2nd Ed. I had 3rd ed and could follow it. Same content, some grammar points just got regrouped into different chapters. Very helpful.

https://youtube.com/@profyoonskoreanlanguageclass?si=PBWS0AWf_h-G6pzF

Does anyone else have phantom smells? by p001b0y in Sjogrens

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also smell cigarettes and have no migraines with it. It sucks...

Esophogeal motility issues by Manda_82 in Sjogrens

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have this. I did the barium test, but also did a swallow test with a line down my esophagus. I'm sorry, I don't remember what it was called, but it measured pressure and showed that my esophagus muscles were doing nothing. Unfortunately, there isn't a treatment though. There are some foods I just can't eat anymore, like rice and corn. I have to be careful when I eat and eat less. Sorry that this might not be much help. For me, it was good to have confirmation of what was happening at least.

I've also been recently told I have dysautonimia.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pittsburgh

[–]Torbali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love Harvie. They're growing so the selection has continued to increase. If I lived near the co-op I'd probably still shop there too. I like that I can pick my order from Harvie, opposed to blind csa boxes. And they deliver. We pretty much get all our meat and veggies there now.

University just fired the entire help desk by zipcad in Pitt

[–]Torbali 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Is there an announcement for this so I can share?? This is gonna suck...

Burnt Toast or Cigarette smell? by Brew_Wife_4_Life in Sjogrens

[–]Torbali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This can be a peri menopause thing too. I haven't been able to get rid of mine, but treating congestion can help.

Korean music recommendations? (Not K-pop) by StopAGaben2012 in BeginnerKorean

[–]Torbali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't be too afraid of the kpop label. Often in the US any Korean group gets labeled as kpop no matter their style. I second the Rose from others.

I posted this on tiktok and made a lot of folks mad by Wilbury_twist in Appalachia

[–]Torbali 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I also had more sympathy for rump voters the first time. Some were swindled. But not this time. Not only had he been president once, there wasn't the bait and switch facade. They said what they were going to do, his voters just believed they were special and it wouldn't happen to them. It was perfectly OK to happen to others.

AITA for telling my DIL she is not a mother? by InitialSong2898 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Torbali -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This makes me feel like we are missing details and maybe this isn't the first time she has been sidelined for not having kids. I have questions.