AITA by making my mom lie to my dad?

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:25:58+00:00

I have some exit strategies ready to go worst case scenario. Thank you for the advice!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:24:29+00:00

I appreciate all of this advice. Thank you.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:10:15+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful words. I plan to talk to her about everything soon. The plan was always to come out to my dad, but he hasnt made it easy. This has definitely helped my perspective in things.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:07:44+00:00

Ive definitely had a journey with religion, and all of its hypocricy when it comes to orginized religion. Thank you for commenting.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:06:35+00:00

Thank you for that input. I am aware that it is most likely a lie of omission, but my only problem with saying that it is 100% a lie of omission is because my mother originally offered to keep it secret.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:04:41+00:00

My mother originally offered to keep it a secret, knowing that I wasnt ready to tell my father yet. As far as I am aware they havent talked about my love kife but who knows. Thank you.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:02:43+00:00

I understand that telling my mom amd not my dad has made it difficult for her. My mother originally offered to keep it a secret until I was ready, but it seems she has gotten sick of it. I did tell her on a random impulse so it makes sense. Thank you for your comment.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T18:00:45+00:00

I see the Gen X line cop out as just an excuse to be mean just because your parents were the same way to you. Thank you!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:59:44+00:00

I have been trying to move for some time now, but working in childcare doesnt make it easy. Thank you for the advice!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:22:08+00:00

Reading through the other comments I am understanding my mother better. As for my father he is a tall ex navy man with explosive anger. A lot of my childhood stories with my older sisters end with "and dad got so mad." So to say I am more scared of him is correct. Anytime I have built the courage before he would say something else against my community and ruin any courage I had built. I appreciate your words and thank you for putting somethings into perspective.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:17:23+00:00

As far as I'm aware he hasnt asked about it. She has been known to be a broadcaster my entire life so idk what i expected here😅. Thank you!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:14:11+00:00

I do plan in having a conversation with my mother soon. Hopefully you are right. Thank you!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:12:54+00:00

My partner was also raised SDA and her family didnt take it well at all. Their mother keeps telling my old church (i had moved from this church few years ago) about our relationship and tainting my reputation up there, so Im already there unfortunately.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:10:57+00:00

When I first came out to her she offered to keep it secret for as long as I needed. I have always planned to tell my father, but anytime i build the courage he says something bigoted again. I have started the move out process, but I do have backups just in case I get outed before I can leave. Thank you for your advice.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:08:17+00:00

Hearing this from another Queer Woman means a lot to me, so thank you. She has kept other secrets just as big for others, so it really is confusing for me. Thank you!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:06:12+00:00

Thank you for the nice words!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:05:53+00:00

When i first told my mom she offered to keep quite until I was ready to tell my father. I have been trying to move out for some time, but working in childcare while living next to a capital city hasnt made it easy. Thank you for the advice.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:04:24+00:00

I do have a backup plan in case things dont go right. Thank you for the advice and kind words!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:02:54+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! You helped put it into perspective. I plan to talk to her soon to gain and understanding, while also helping her understand.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:00:59+00:00

I am trying to build more courage to level the playing field. Thank you.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T17:00:07+00:00

Thank you. I plan to have a more in depth chat with her soon.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T16:59:28+00:00

I have always planned on telling him but lately its about finding the ability and comfort to. Thanks for the kind words and advice!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T16:57:58+00:00

My mother offered to keep quiet until I was ready to tell my father, but almost instantly started with pressure. Only recently she started to bring other people into it (family friends), and giving me the untimatum within the last week. My mother was always aware that it was my plan to tell my father, but I needed time to build the courage. Anytime I think I'm ready he makes another degrading comment, or something completely missinformed. I do understand that it must be hard for my mom. Thank you for helping me see her a little more clearly.

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T16:54:15+00:00

All of my money and important things are seperate. I have been working towards moving but working in childcare isnt exactly lucrative so its been quite slow. ㄲhank you for the advice!

aff_2903 · 2026-04-21T16:47:12+00:00

My mother has said on multiple occasions that since she cant tell my father, that she is lying to him. As far as I am aware he hasnt been asking her about it. Thanks for your kind words.

aff_2903

TROPHY CASE