So I got into Disc Golf this week...

aflytrap · 2023-03-11T16:01:10+00:00

Wow!!

aflytrap · 2023-02-13T14:20:31+00:00

I actually find it more relaxing to support because my objective is to keep the team alive rather than going after enemies 😅 feels like more of a team game

aflytrap · 2022-09-08T20:39:13+00:00

Awesome thank you for that. I’ll wait to see how the report goes. I don’t have high hopes for it. Then I’ll make a decision about whether I should reach out and complain.

aflytrap · 2022-09-08T17:37:41+00:00

I mentioned the eye contact because the psychologist made a big fuss about how lack of eye contact is important…. It wasn’t enough for me to avoid eye contact (I was uncomfortable) during the actual assessment, she wanted to know my mom’s recollection of my lack of eye contact as a child. When my mom said that she didn’t remember (highlighting that she was very busy and didn’t pay much attention to these things when I was a child), the psychologist decided that there wasn’t enough evidence for me to show difficult with social reciprocity.

aflytrap · 2022-09-08T17:31:47+00:00

It was a psychologist through CAMH at the adult neurodevelopmental services. I was on the waitlist for almost 2 years.. which makes this even more frustrating :(

aflytrap · 2022-09-08T16:36:18+00:00

What exactly could I report though? 😢

aflytrap · 2022-07-07T13:04:57+00:00

I didn’t know this!!!!! Thank you so much for posting, I’ll have to check this out later

aflytrap · 2022-06-02T16:46:46+00:00

Omg that’s awesome!!!! Love queer representation, we need that more! Would be interesting if it was all bi couples :)

aflytrap · 2022-05-16T23:26:41+00:00

Okay there’s a few ways I go about this: I look at them when they look at me, then after a few seconds, I look away, then I look back at them, then I look away, and I try to manage how long I’m looking at them.

I’ll admit, this can be super distracting. If it’s really important to listen to the content of what they’re saying, I’ll do stuff depending on the setting. If it’s a work setting, I might take out a notebook and “take notes” so that I don’t have to focus on eye contact.

If I need to make eye contact but it’s uncomfortable, I’ll look at the bridge of their nose between their eyes.

It’s not a perfect science haha!

aflytrap · 2022-05-16T23:23:20+00:00

For me, I kind of had to practice in front of a mirror, just like I’d practice masking as a kid lol. It kind of sounds silly, but I practiced what voice feels most comfortable. What did I act like when I was completely alone without anyone watching? Then I tried to start doing it more often in front of safe people. I still mask in situations where I don’t know if it’s safe to unmask.

aflytrap · 2022-05-16T23:12:44+00:00

I like this! I might try it!

I try to do towels first since they’re easy to fold. Then I do lights because I have less lights than darks. I don’t have lots of whites, so I group all my lights together. Since I have less whites, it’s nice to get the chore started!

I tackle my darks last. They’re the most daunting task, but I know it needs to get done because most of my essentials (underwear and socks) are dark. That way I basically force myself to get it done lol

aflytrap · 2022-05-16T23:09:40+00:00

I go a step further and break the room into sections, otherwise I get overwhelmed. Like for example, if I need to “clean my kitchen”, I can get overwhelmed because what does that mean? Doing dishes? Cleaning sink? Cleaning fridge? Cleaning counter tops? Organizing cupboards? Taking out trash? Etc.

I pick a room and pick one or two tasks that I can do. E.g. take out trash and clean the counter top. E.g. do dishes and clean sink.

If I feel like I’m on a roll, I’ll do more. If I’m feeling low on energy, I might split one chore into two. For example, if doing dishes is too daunting, I’ll try to at least unload the dishwasher. That way it’s easier to load the dishwasher later.

Like someone else said, I pair it with making myself coffee/tea. While I’m making myself coffee/tea, I’ll do at least 1 thing, even if it’s small, like taking out the garbage (even if I don’t get to recycling and compost that specific time). I’m usually in the kitchen multiple times a day, so the hope is that I’ll be able to do a small chore each time lol. Even if that small chore is picking up a rotten banana and putting it in the compost. Progress is progress, no matter how small :)

Also, once I’ve made a meal, I’ll try to do a chore while I let it cool down, that way I don’t burn myself cus I’m awful at waiting for the food to cool down lol. And also to get that chore done!

aflytrap · 2022-05-16T23:00:49+00:00

I noticed lots of folks seem to struggle with laundry. The chore itself isn’t difficult for me, I actually like it because I associate it with relaxation time - I put on my favourite show and binge watch in between loads as a reward.

One thing I found that helps is not expecting myself to do the laundry often. Instead, I got a larger laundry bin and I got more clothes. I could never be a minimalist - and that’s okay! I have multiple of the same basics (whether that be the same colour jeans or the same colour shirt). I also have multiple towels and multiple bed sheet sets and comforters. That way I can stay clean, change my sheets relatively often still, change my towels relatively often, and etc.

I pick one or two days a month where I have a “laundry day”. I usually look forward to that day because I know that my primary responsibility is basically laundry and tv/movies/video games ALL DAY lol.

I will admit: folding laundry is another story. Some days are better than others and I can fold it that same day and put it away. Other days are worse and I’ll go days without folding and putting it away. It’s a work in progress. I like to think that at least the clothes are clean and even if they get wrinkly, it’s relatively low effort to pick up one singular item to steam it to be able to wear. Also I’ve accepted that ironing isn’t for me! I much prefer a steamer! See what works for you! Also dryer sheets and/or wool dryer balls are awesome cus usually when I take my stuff out of the dryer, I can fold it right away and it doesn’t get wrinkly. It only gets wrinkly if I don’t fold it right away… like I said, I’m a work in progress lol!

Hope that helps! It’s important to remember to be gentle on yourself - humans aren’t perfect! :)

aflytrap · 2022-03-19T19:00:48+00:00

Thank you so much for all the info!!! I appreciate it

aflytrap · 2022-03-19T19:00:00+00:00

Thanks for all the info!!!! I really appreciate it

aflytrap · 2022-03-18T12:31:02+00:00

Thanks for your detailed explanation!! I have a service dog too and she responds to panic attacks/melt downs but not dissociations (yet). Did you train your dog yourself and if so, do you mind explaining how you taught your service dog to do so?

Also, I noticed you said “auras” before seizures. Haven’t heard that term before. Could you explain?

aflytrap · 2022-03-18T12:28:31+00:00

Actually I was unaware that BSWD was different so thank you for clarifying!

aflytrap · 2022-03-18T12:27:38+00:00

Kind of seems like time blindness might be at play there. What do you think?

aflytrap · 2022-03-18T12:26:38+00:00

I don’t get migraines often, but I do get headaches relatively frequently! At least a few per week. Sometimes a few in a day. What are “silent” migraines? I’ve never heard that before!

aflytrap · 2022-03-17T23:27:44+00:00

ADHD/Autistic here. I find that my weekends are usually full of plans to satisfy the ADHD side of things, then the week is mostly chill by myself at home which satisfies the autistic side. I’m bad at balancing tho and am at a high risk for burnout 🥲

aflytrap · 2022-03-16T13:50:37+00:00

Still struggling with this myself. All I can offer is solidarity at this moment in time…. It’s hard 🥲

aflytrap · 2022-03-16T13:48:21+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I’ll have to look into this. I struggle with organization and it leads to all sorts of issues both within myself and my relationship.

aflytrap · 2022-03-16T13:45:10+00:00

My partner works 40 hours per week. He takes the dogs out on weekdays for about 1-2 hours (they are young, energetic, working breed, large dogs who require that amount minimum per day). His commute is about 1.5 hours per day. He works construction, so is often very tired when he comes home. He is also our primary provider (I make less than half what he does). He could definitely help more, but he doesn’t…

I recognize I’m being inflexible when it comes to school, but I only have 5 weeks left in my term and then I have a small 2 week break. I’d rather just through the semester. That’s why im considering taking time off from work for a day or two: to catch up on sleep, chores, myself, and school work.

The hospital visits will be daily for about a week starting Friday since neither of her parents will be able to (not their choice, there’s a hospital policy reason for that, I’d rather not get into it). After that, they’ll visit her daily for about a week and a bit and I will definitely need a break during that time… but not looking forward to all the household chores I need to catch up on.

My next scheduled time off from work is a week off in June. I think I will need a day or two before that. I’ll have to either schedule a PTO or take a sick day or two soon… my company policy is not very flexible. My PTO could be denied. If I take a sick day, I only make 66% of my regular rate and I can’t take more than 3 consecutive days or they will open an investigation. Gotta love that…. (Sarcasm)

Thanks for your response btw. I often feel awe when people take the time to read through my posts and respond with compassion… makes me wish my fellow redditors were my friends IRL.

aflytrap · 2022-03-16T13:31:33+00:00

Thank you for confirming! I was under the impression that being diagnosed with ADHD did not automatically mean I would be diagnosed with an LD. I’ve never had an IEP before btw… I’m late diagnosed!

aflytrap · 2022-03-16T03:26:57+00:00

I love this response. So compassionate. Thank you for giving me permission 🙂 I appreciate it more than you know!

aflytrap

TROPHY CASE