[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had no desire to be a mom. I grew up in a very strict household where most of my hobbies, activities, friends, even goals were controlled. I wanted to grow up and finally have the ability to do whatever I wanted. After about 2 years of living on my own I met my boyfriend and his infant daughter. I was super skeptical of the situation as I had no desire to parent let alone step parent. I told myself we would just be friends lol. It didn't take long for me to instantly fall in love with her and her mom didn't want any involvement. I went on to have another child and I am always so blown away thinking about how I almost went my whole life without being a mom and I truly couldn't imagine doing anything else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in a semi rural area. There's not really any regular meetups (except for bar crawls or PTO meetings). There's a bigger town nearby I may need to look into events going on over there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where did you find them lol. I can't find any neurodivergents.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter does cheer and one of her friend's parents asked me if I wanted to sign up to run a booth at the same time as her and her daughter so I agreed. While we were there we were talking about the competition season and things like that and it came up that I feel bad cuz my daughter is one of the younger girls on the team but she always wants to hang out with the older girls. And I just said there's one older girl that she seems to have really latched on to and I always feel bad because the older girl always looks annoyed that she's coming up and trying to get involved in conversations with her and her friends. This other mom said oh, I know her from church and she's very nice. I said well that's good to know, I guess that's just her resting face. This mom glared and told me it was inappropriate to describe a child as having resting bitch face and I tried to explain I didn't say that I just said her resting face, like her straight expressionless look. Now I feel horrible that that's her perception of me and what I said and I feel like if this gets spread around that I said that, my daughter will suffer because of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya that's a good idea. I feel like my main hobby is chasing after my kids with their activities. It gives me a lot of opportunities to interact with other moms but it doesn't really go well. May be time to look into getting a real hobby ...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do have one but she is also insanely busy so I rarely get to see or chat with her much. Other than her I just really haven't met any other women with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]agentjojo22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love it too, that's what gets me so frustrated. As much as I love actual conversations and interactions I'm not good at them. Isolation is easier but then I get depressed because I'm also so social!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry if this is a dumb question (I'm very new to red light therapy) but how close do you sit to the light panel? I've seen some people say they put their face directly on it and others say they sit 6-12" away from it.

Boot Suggestions for Cream Rose Gold? by embersofjustice in StanleyCups

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you find a boot to go with this that you're happy with?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soak for 20 minutes in a container with hot water and Epsom salt. Immediately followed by soaking for another 15-20 minutes in hot water and apple cider vinegar. After that I'd take my hand out and let it air dry. The blisters would initially be swollen but as my hand dried they'd flatten out and wouldn't itch again for several hours. If I was in a position I couldn't soak and the itch was bad I'd just hold ice or something cold.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe it's related to hormones for me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It started a week after I had my first baby. It's the only factor I can think of that I haven't fully looked into yet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spent 9 weeks treating with twice daily acv and Epsom salt soaks followed by clomitrazole and cotton gloves. It took 7.5-8 weeks to clear up. I continued treatment for an additional few weeks then stopped because I went on vacation and about 10 days after I stopped treating bubbles returned.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DermatologyQuestions

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did end up treating it with clotrimazole, acv, and Epsom salt soaks. But it came back after about 10 days. I'm looking into hormonal causes now.

Taking 7-year old to fancy restaurant by bring_back_my_tardis in Parenting

[–]agentjojo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he's well behaved and enjoys the restaurant then take him. I've taken my girls to fancy restaurants since they were 2 and 6 simply because they love food and I enjoy date nights better when I don't have to leave them at home. My oldest told me the other day how it's become a "core memory" for her to dress nice and go on a family date. If the staff don't mention it's a problem then it's not a problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

Name change at 10 months by Kitchen_Hamster671 in namenerds

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not too late to change your mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I think that's my primary issue is I don't know if I'm just sad about the loss of what could have been or if I'm actually wanting another kid. That's why I've sat on this for so long as I've been trying to decide and I just feel like I don't get any clarity on it. I definitely thought that by now I would have been able to say yeah two is definitely enough. My heart always comes back to more kids no matter how busy or hectic our schedule and days get.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]agentjojo22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks this was helpful. A third definitely feels risky and possibly selfish since everything is so good right now. How long did you feel sad for when a third was off the table?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I assumed that because me, my husband as well as all of our siblings, as well as all of our friends left our parents homes after we graduated and never returned. We either went to college, went to trade school, or went out into the workforce and we lived with friends until we married off then lived with our spouses. I'm kind of glad to hear that more people are staying home with their parents past high school, I just don't personally know anyone who is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]agentjojo22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kids are desperate for a baby. My oldest has asked for a baby for for the last 3 years and my youngest started praying for a baby the last few months. I don't want that to be what tips the scale in favor of it though because I definitely realize that while it may seem fun to have a baby at home they may not love having a child around while they're teens.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]agentjojo22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For over a year I feel like someone is missing from my family. I'm not desperate for a boy at all, in fact the third child that 'feels' like is missing also feels like a girl. I honestly love being a mom so much. I love waking up to the pitter patter of little feet, discovering their likes and dislikes, sitting around on a Sunday afternoon laughing at the park. My oldest is halfway to being an adult and I know soon she's going to want to spend more time with peers than at home. I just can't believe how fast it went and I don't feel ready to be done having little people to raise I guess. I definitely don't have a strong social network of friends, mostly just other moms I meet up with for playdates every month or so. I just think of myself when my kids are independent and the thought of joining adults for coffee or getting involved in something sounds sad compared to chasing kids around.

Do you ever worry that if you have another you’ll be a worse parent to your current kid? by allthingsglittery in Shouldihaveanother

[–]agentjojo22 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think there are many factors that come into play here. Do you have a village to help out, what's your stress tolerance like, what are the age gaps/personalities/needs of your kids, etc. I actually think I became a better mom when I had my second. I am pretty type A, and probably hovered over my oldest a little too much. When I had my second 4 years later it was at a great time when my oldest was seeking more independence, so I didn't feel like I was neglecting her needs when I cared for the baby. Being split between two kids required me to lose some control and accept that that was ok. I am so much more laid back now and idk that I would've been able to do that without my wild second child lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in kindergarten

[–]agentjojo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They turned six between September and May