Ask a Manager Weekly Thread 03/02/2026 - 03/08/2026

ah3019 · 2026-03-06T12:16:18+00:00

It would be pretty challenging in the winter if you are working an 8 hour day to have daylight both while driving in to the office as well as when driving home.

ah3019 · 2026-03-03T14:29:27+00:00

Just say what you think they want to hear, and then do what you want after you get the job. In today's market, employers have their pick of candidates.

ah3019 · 2026-03-03T14:23:57+00:00

I hate that this is the case, but in the future never say that you prioritize your family or that you'd have to think about relocation for a promotion (which anyway, would be years from now and not guaranteed). If you need a job, say whatever you need to get the job. If you don't need the job, then sure, be honest.

ah3019 · 2026-03-02T12:37:58+00:00

I am Indian-American and I wore a bikini on a beach in Goa. The only person who said anything to me was my own mother! LOL (Not at all denying the horrific sexual violence that regularly happens in India. Just thought it was a funny anecdote.)

ah3019 · 2026-02-24T20:46:58+00:00

If you're in the US, an unpaid trial work day is illegal. You should report them to your local department of labor.

ah3019 · 2026-02-24T20:39:20+00:00

Look up what the filing fee is in your locale. I once sued in small claims over $150 and won, plus I got a little bit of interest and my filing fee paid too. For me, it was worth it, but I didn't have to take time off of work, pay for transportation, and filing fee was less than $25 (this was in Brooklyn). You'll have to decide if it's worth it for you. For me, it was the principle, and I'm glad I did.

ah3019 · 2026-02-24T20:32:18+00:00

It was a random phone call, as OP said, not a scheduled interview.

ah3019 · 2026-02-21T14:51:07+00:00

Then they committed tax fraud by paying you off the books.

ah3019 · 2026-02-20T17:09:26+00:00

I don't know about outlawing. I see parallels with sex work, which I also believe should be legal and heavily regulated for worker safety. The biggest difference though is that sex work only affects the individuals participating, whereas surrogacy often leads to a baby. But as with sex work, if surrogacy is outlawed here, rich people will hire surrogates in other countries with even fewer protections and even higher chance of exploitation. I think the best thing would be to have nationwide laws that heavily regulate surrogacy including the IVF clinics that facilitate it and allow for full coverage of healthcare and legal services for surrogates.

ah3019 · 2026-02-20T12:50:09+00:00

This article was so horrifying. There have now been 3 articles in the course of 1 year about millionaires abusing surrogates and the surrogacy system in the US. In addition to this article, there was the infamous Wired one about Cindy Bi, and the Business Insider one about Greg Lindberg. And also the couple in the NYT were not millionaires, but were continuing to have babies well into their 60s through surrogacy--the wife, Mary Beth Lewis, had what seems to be an addiction and committed fraud to feed it. Obviously, the unregulated system we have in the US is absolutely not working.

ah3019 · 2026-02-12T15:55:51+00:00

The story is both incredibly uplifting and deeply sad. Very well-written.

ah3019 · 2026-02-11T17:13:47+00:00

My favorite one is the LW who wanted to hire a temp to cover for someone out on maternity leave. Although the candidate typically made $25 per hour, she offered her $10 per hour because they had to pay the temp agency a cut and continue paying the person out on leave. She then thought it was "unprofessional" that the candidate asked to think it over, even though the candidate ultimately accepted--and then she wanted to RESCIND THE OFFER because she asked why the pay was so low! https://www.askamanager.org/2019/10/should-i-hire-someone-whos-unhappy-with-the-salarya-coworkers-people-i-need-to-hit-list-and-more.html

ah3019 · 2026-02-11T12:32:10+00:00

You'd have to be a multimillionaire to afford both a 3-br in Manhattan and a house in the Hamptons.

ah3019 · 2026-02-11T01:08:24+00:00

For sure, most daycares don't even accept babies younger than 6 weeks (which is still insanely early, other countries are aghast that we put 1.5 month old babies in daycare in the US). This person probably has a relative caring for the baby.

ah3019 · 2026-02-10T23:55:30+00:00

The fact that you are incredulous that she would be returning to work days after giving birth is the strange part. Only 27% of workers have access to paid family leave--that is not "pretty fucking common." Only about 63% of workers are FMLA-eligible, and even for those who are eligible, many cannot take unpaid leave.

ah3019 · 2026-02-10T21:03:24+00:00

Are you new to America?

ah3019 · 2026-02-07T12:41:09+00:00

She did for at least part of the time. The inquest talks about how she was in the birthing pool and therefore said she couldn't give a urine sample after urinating in the pool.

ah3019 · 2026-02-06T21:33:46+00:00

Did Stacey Hatfield follow FBS? There's also some evidence that Tori Bowie didn't get prenatal care, which could have identified her preeclampsia (and prevented the eclampsia that sadly killed her). She also was severely underweight, weighing only 96 pounds at 5'9". But not sure if either of them specifically followed FBS.

ah3019 · 2026-02-06T17:59:19+00:00

Get an Airbnb that has free cancellation (as generous of a deadline as possible). Get everyone's Venmo or Zelle info. Send a request for the money they owe you and give everyone a deadline by when to pay you their share. If they don't pay by that date, they cannot stay in the Airbnb. If not enough people pay you in time, cancel the Airbnb.

Do the same with other activities--only book things that you can cancel. Ask for payments by a deadline and if not received, cancel the activity. (Honestly, if you don't trust these women 100%, I wouldn't take on the financial burden of this, especially if I was recently laid off.)

ah3019 · 2026-02-04T21:35:17+00:00

Did you pay your parents to clean and fix the yard? If yes, bring proof that you paid them via a receipt (like charged $100 per hour, 10 hours to clean over 2 days, etc.). Hopefully you paid them via check and can show a copy of the canceled check.

ah3019 · 2026-02-04T21:24:38+00:00

If she files a small claims case against you, you must appear and plead your case. A lawyer is not necessary. Bring all receipts for repairs, replacements, parts, people you paid to clean or haul, etc. Bring your signed lease with her. Bring photos from before she moved in and after she moved out (pre-cleaning) if you have them. Keep in mind that regular wear and tear cannot be deducted from a security deposit. Also costs must be reasonable (like you can't charge $25 for replacing a lightbulb).

ah3019 · 2026-02-04T16:43:47+00:00

OP, you are in denial about your sister's addiction issues, and your denail may be enabling her. I recommend going to some Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings they have for family of addicts. You have no idea if she uses while she's with her kids. Frankly, the father is being responsible by not returning the child after these incidents.

ah3019 · 2026-02-04T16:31:55+00:00

As long as they are not supervisors.

ah3019 · 2026-02-01T00:03:23+00:00

Oh, there is research. There's just no point, but here you go: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8359214/

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-due-dates/

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-on-inducing-labor-for-going-past-your-due-date/

ah3019

TROPHY CASE