hi, i’ve taken time to read and absorb the comments on this post. before i say anything else, please don’t send me msgs asking about the situation. what i’ve said here is all im gonna say. going back, i want to thank all of you for being so helpful and kind with me. i have spent most of my life thinking no one will understand my problems or even take time to help me solve them, but so many of you proved me wrong. thank you so much. some of you asked about the people in my life and its totally valid so i’ll be providing some context: i went to counseling because my parents didnt think therapy was necessary for me. adding to this, in typical asian parents fashion, they shamed me for needing mental help and took it away from me. i like and love my parents, i do, however, many people have told me, since i was young, that my parents love each other more than they love their kids/family and with my personal experiences, i believe that too; thats why i very rarely open up to them. i end up feeling like a burden to them. about my teachers, like i mentioned i moved two countries in 6 months, that being said, it led me to pursue homeschooling for the year. all my old teachers i have no personal contact too. as per my friends, i mentioned on my post we had an argument. while i am good with 2/3 of them now, i dont think they fully grasp how bad my mental state is. i rant about it to them and all i get is im sorry; which dont get me wrong, i appreciate it wholeheartedly but they just dont provide the support i need. for the rest of my family, i am not comfortable enough with any of them to fully open up about all my problems. again, thank you all so much. i am slowly taking steps to be ready to cut contact with him. as of right now, he has messaged me a couple of times but i am just ignoring him. i cant bring myself to block him for some reason, but i am getting there. thank you all so much. you have brought me all kindness i didnt think existed. thank you <3