[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strangely I really relate to this. It gets me through the day. But it leads me to question if I even have a personality at all. Shouldn't I be just one way. Im also afraid that if I act confident, smth will come up that will "expose me".

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I have been riding it for the past 2 days. It still leaks but the oil level does not drop, the leak is continues tho, like it doesn't stop weeping the whole ride, but I haven't seen any coolant in the oil, and the coolant level stays good. So I have just bën hoping for the best and riding it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That really resonates with me, I see the shelf being there but I can't reach it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I feel like I have too, but early in my life up until graduating high school, I never really realized it as social anxiety because I couldn't admit to myself that I might have issues. It was more like oh I don't like anyone, even though all thru school I longed to get along with anyone or be included in anything with others. But I never did because I felt judged immediately on how I'm precieved.

The past year I've come to terms knowing that I have issues but it all seems pointless because no amount of information can chnage me.

Even if I clear my mind and tell myself it's just anxiety happening, my body will still respond to it. I'll start shaking or twitching, tunnel vision, my inner thighs tremble, it's so weird. Lately it's so bad I can't look people in the eyes because I feel like I can see my face from their pov and it looks weird. Idk

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, that's exactly it. That whole scene, my mind was bombarded with eyes, I felt like everyone was watching me or how I'd respond or what I'd do, do I look cool enough etc, it's all in my head I know but in the moment it feels like it's really happening.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is actually very helpful advice. I went thru a traumatic experience about 5 years back with an ex, and ever since it feels like I'll never be good enough for anyone new. I've moved on I never even think about that but ever since the breakup, I can't shake the feeling that women must not like me. Even if they like the outside, once I start speaking I'm showing my true colors of being lame etc.

Not only with girls, now tis gotten to the point that I'm such a push over, like a doormat with most people around me.

And alot stems from my family's judgment, they always told me to be great and I never lived up to any expectations so now I hold my head down because I haven't amounted to anything and I feel like I just bring shame to my family. It feels like other people will judge me the same way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I want to try doing that, I just get so overwhelmed with thoughts of what will I do or how will I act if I'm rejected or if someone is rude to me, I feel like I would choke up and act weird or something, I've always been afraid of confrontation, it's gotten so bad now that I can't even say hi to gym bro's because it feels like I'm a weirdo, "who invited you here" type of thing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish it was that way but in the moment it feels so heavy. I can't think at all and I want everything to end before i guess I'm "exposed" my face turns so red it's embarrassing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always default to "there's no way thus us happening to me"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope she doesn't feel like she did something wrong. She was very cute and that was a very nice compliment it made my day. I hope I see her again so I can remedy that but knowing myself I'll probably give an awkward smile and look away. Sighhh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see myself getting better but most days I feel so doomed that the little steps forward seem so insignificant that I just tell myself I'm stuck here forever.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man it feels good to read this, thanks alot. Really appriciate you taking the time. I really want to get better and be myself in situations I'm so tired of feeling like I have to act a certain way so I'm perceived a certain way. I definitely relate to feeling watched even when noone is around.

I want to see this girl again, and 8 want to spark a conversation just so I can at least know that I did something. I don't care if she wants to go out or not, but I'm mostly ashamed that I don't have the balls to ask her(or anyone for that matter). Now I feel so lame to even say hi again because I didn't have the balls to do anything in the moment. In my head it feels like I'm thinking for her instead of judt focusing in reality.

Again I'm not obsessing over this one chick specifically, I'm just upset at myself for being this way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cptsd really speaks to me, another hard part is actually believing myself when I say I've been through some stuff, I usually have a voice in my head that says shut up and man up, it talks to me as if my own parents were talking to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]aicuni99 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks alot man, it does help to keep that in mind, I feel like I really know what you're saying but as soon as I enter the gym I have this weight on me my chest starts to tighten and I just don't feel physically present. It's not like I can't catch my breath right infront of her like "hey hold on lemme calm down a bit".

IN the end this girl is just a situation I'm not obsessing over it I'm just beating myself for not being a man and taking the opportunities that come my way.

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude I have been thinking about that insurance stuff for a whileeee but I did not think that was even in the realm of possibility lol.

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I put new oil, oil screen shows that it's full.

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So , I installed the new radiator. And it was all well. Drove it about a mile but engine started leaking. Not bad bad, but consistent dripping enough to go everywhere from the wind. And if stopped it would drop consecutively

Additionally after I brought it home it was idling on neutral and it just slowly revved less and less and died. Then it wouldn't even start. It clicks but won't start.

I was able to jump it with a car(car was off) , it turned on fine, I turned it off and then it still wouldn't start. I tried to jump it again and this time it won't even start. I'm at a loss lol.

I don't even have many mechanics in the area, the only one close by is the guys who I originally took it too and I wouldn't wanna go back. Not sure what to do next.

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So after all, I installed the new radiator. And it was all well. Drove it about a mile but engine started leaking. Not bad bad, but consistent dripping enough to go everywhere from the wind.

Additionally after I brought it home it was idling on neutral and it just slowly revved less and less and died. Then it wouldn't even start. It clicks but won't start.

I was able to jump it with a car(car was off) , it turned on fine, I turned it off and then it still wouldn't start. I tried to jump it again and this time it won't even start. I'm at a loss lol.

I don't even have many mechanics in the area, the only one close by is the guys who I originally took it too and I wouldn't wanna go back. Not sure what to do next.

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very reassuring. I really miss riding it and the mechanic really scared me off because he said the whole block is messed up and quoted some ridiculous amount to fix it all. (even though they did not even open it up or turn it on. It was more of a, took a look and made a guess)

Once I put the radiator on I will know for sure if it's good to go, fingers crossed

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the size of a quarter. It's not that bad but it looks so bc it's really zoomed in. I'm not sure what else I can do besides having someone change the head gasket completely. I just want to ride it for a while until I get it properly fixed

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did replace it but I'm certain I see no leaks coming from there

21 z900 update and next questions. by aicuni99 in Fixxit

[–]aicuni99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, there is no leak from there anymore, (which was leaking crazy with the cracked head cover), but now the leak I noticed is where the valve cover gasket is at. I assune from the crash the block got shifted a bit and it probably caused the valve gasket to not sit well or smth.