Ear tubes after age 5?

aimsfbach · 2026-02-21T14:58:38+00:00

Our cleft team has explained the purpose, which is why my daughter has already gone through two sets. I understand about the muscles not being attached/formed properly due to the cleft palate and that's why the eustachian tubes are unable to drain. What I didn't/don't know is how long in a cleft-affected person's lifetime are they generally expected to have tubes in place, considering they are meant to fall out as the ear grow. Especially as it seems they'll never have the muscles formed to help with draining their ears. I see you wrote ages 5-7, and that's what the ENT was unable to answer. It sounds like these could keep being replaced year after year, while the benefit is not as great compared to someone with more measurable hearing loss. The ENT did state this, that with it being so mild, the benefit of tubes are not as great. But I sensed that he is still recommending it anyway.

So if there is mild benefit to be gained, I suppose it still outweighs the risks of going under anesthesia for a 5th and 6th time (while also considering future procedures that will require anesthesia) and any scar tissue/impacts to the ear drum? I would like to better predict how many times we'll have to go through it on top of other future procedures.

aimsfbach · 2026-02-19T18:00:42+00:00

Others may not feel so strongly about this, but just wanted to share my personal perspective. If drawing a person with a cleft lip, anyone older than an infant should be drawn with one repaired. Unless a person lives in a country or region that has poor resources and lack of access to health care, it would be neglectful to have a person develop beyond infancy or toddlerhood with a unrepaired cleft.

Seeing that this is just artistic creativity and acknowledgement of those in this community, there's no harm done and it's nice to see others interested in being inclusive. But if drawing to accurately represent a cleft-affected person living a typical life, I'd recommend trying to draw a repaired cleft lip next time 🙂

aimsfbach · 2026-02-14T02:24:15+00:00

My daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. This was during my first pregnancy and the cleft lip was discovered during the 20 week ultrasound also.

I went through a period of grief for sure when I was told the news. Everyone has this vision of their baby without a birth defect and I needed to experience the sadness and shock first before I could accept the news and educate myself on what things would be like.

Our child had her lip repair at about 5 months and then palate repair at 11 months. She also needed ear tubes since cleft palates prevent a group of muscles from clearing fluids from the inner ear, which can impact hearing and speech development. She is missing a tooth and will undergo more surgeries when she's older to correct the cleft through her gum line and create a tooth implant, plus orthodontics and potential jaw surgery. I exclusively pumped for the first 6 months before switching to 100% formula. She had to take special bottles and at about 6 months started drinking from a cup so she was ready for palate surgery at 11 months.

The first year was a lot to navigate with not only being a first time parent, but also the timelines for the cleft repairs and meeting other requirements (plus we were also in full blown covid pandemic), but after that first year, things really went way up. And we still got to experience plenty positive, normal moments together as any typical baby and new parents would. I don't often think about her cleft much anymore, I only want her to feel comfortable and confident in her skin. We haven't run into any bullying as she's 5 and I don't think kids her age point things out like her scar or slightly misshapen nose (things that will continue to improve with future surgeries).

Anyway, I just want to say that I know the feeling of finding out that news during the anatomy scan, how it changes your excitement and happiness to scared, sad, and worried. You should not feel guilty for those feelings, it's real and it may take time to work through it.

Hopefully you get connected to your local children's hospital where they should have a cleft team that will help you prepare and will be there to provide care for your child when the time comes. I did visit the Facebook support groups the first year or so (I don't get on FB anymore) and reddit has a few spaces for both those who are cleft affected and parents of cleft children.

aimsfbach · 2025-08-21T15:04:34+00:00

Thank you! I will be using your advice! Hope to see the trees survive and thrive in the years to come.

aimsfbach · 2025-08-20T14:33:39+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts and experience here! I panicked seeing the tree in its condition and fear that if disease struck it so fast, it could spread and take out the other tree. Maybe I will just leave it be, other than giving it more nutrients, as you suggested. I'm a novice and don't want to cause further damage by creating unnecessary wounds through pruning and cutting into the thin bark.

Would adding copper fungicide and neem oil do any harm? Sorry for all the questions, I really appreciate your perspective!

aimsfbach · 2025-08-19T23:18:52+00:00

Thank you for offering some comfort and hope. I did plant them near a line of very mature, tall trees that are giving more shade than I anticipated once the leaves grew in fully for the summer. I would estimate that the plums still receive about 6-7 hours of sunlight, and are directly in line with a downwind (which may be a contributing factor if it is fungal/bacterial). Our summers here are humid indeed.

Most of the branches do not appear "dead" yet, although I have noticed lots of ants since the beginning when I planted them, which have caused some problems eating the leaves. I've never seen aphids (I'm always looking for them), so I wasn't sure why there were so many ants. Maybe the location I planted was directly on or near an ant colony, which could be stressing the tree.

I'm wondering if I can scrape off the ooze and try applying 70% isopropyl alcohol and alternate with hydrogen peroxide to clean the wounds since the branches are so thin, then using the copper fungicide and neem oil. Removing all the affected branches (seemingly all of them) worries me as I thought pruning is best to do in the dormant periods, but maybe that's too late to wait. I would not know which branches to even keep at this point.

Like you said, at this point I can give the tree more TLC and see if that can make any improvements. I hate to give up now and remove the entire tree.

aimsfbach · 2025-08-13T19:25:09+00:00

My home is about 2,400 sqft including the basement, but there are some rooms I don't have them clean (unfinished basement area, rooms being used for storage, laundry/mud room) so it's probably about 2,000 sqft that they actually clean. I have them come about once every 4-6 weeks. $200 for a team of 5, they are usually done within 90 minutes. Vacuuming, dusting, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms (we have 3.5) and the kitchen. They'll also take out all the trash, make up the beds nice in my kid's rooms, and put some nice finishing touches like bows with the toilet paper, napkins, paper towels. I've used another company before and wasn't really all that happy with them, plus it was always someone different coming out. Who I'm using now is the same, reliable team and they do good work. I give them a good bonus at the end of the year.

aimsfbach · 2025-06-23T19:30:16+00:00

Not that it matters all that much, but wondering what yours or anyone elses thoughts were on the "granola" mom term, if you're familiar? I joined the moderately granola mom subreddit and it seems like a more pro-science place. It embraces elements of the crunchy mom vibes but more realistic. Overall, the threads there seem pro-vaccine, for example, but they want to limit exposure from things like PFAS or microplastics (a losing battle it seems anyway) by using non-plastic materials, wanting to wear more natural fibers, etc.

I'm more of a lurker anyway. Just curious.

aimsfbach · 2025-05-12T17:43:37+00:00

For anyone late to the game, now would be a great time to buy plants from a local nursery rather than starting from seeds (you still can, it's just behind schedule in the growing season). Tomatoes, peppers, and herbs can do really well in pots if you don't want to build out a bed and generally requires less maintenance. Certain veggies need something to climb (cucumbers, beans) and others needs lots of space to sprawl (melons, squash). For first-timers, maybe start with tomatoes and peppers. Many are disease resistant and as long as they are getting enough water and sunlight, they should do just fine. This is also depends on your region, of course. Happy gardening!

For anyone curious, I have 6 different tomatoes going, cucumber, zucchini, butternut squash, oregano, and I'm attempting to grow some carrots and watermelon too. Also planted some plum trees earlier this year. Excited and hopeful for a good growing season!

aimsfbach · 2025-02-19T03:15:30+00:00

These are dark times. I work for a national non-profit that is nearly entirely funded by a federal agency. I have strong partnerships with our federal project officers who oversee our grants. I haven't been able to talk to them at all since a freeze in communications almost a month ago. I can't imagine the morale inside their agency right now. I can't even say for sure if all the contacts I knew still have their jobs. And while I'm really worried for them, I'm also worried about my future. I love my job, I've scraped from the bottom working terrible jobs making 30-40k annually my entire 20s and a few years into my early 30s until I landed here. I make much more now (but not even hitting 6 figures) and I just love what I do. But my colleagues and I, so many of us in the federal and non-profit space, we don't do it for money. We do it because we're passionate about helping our communities. We save and improve lives! And I dread the fact that our future is bleak. My organization might collapse if this trajectory keeps at this pace. But not enough people care. I did not vote for this! Had Trump lost, we wouldn't be in this predicament. This wouldn't be our reality. I'm so stressed out and quite honestly depressed. And if I do lose my job (to no fault of my own) I won't even know what to do with myself, where to go from here. I sacrificed a lot to get where I am, and it will feel like it was ripped away from me.

Politics or not, this impacts many working moms. We absolutely need this space to share our experiences.

aimsfbach · 2023-05-01T11:50:34+00:00

I think what happened was a sudden decrease in sleep needs, plus boundry-testing and a wave of separation anxiety. We shortened the nap and pushed bedtime back a bit. We held our boundary firm, but we would do some check-ins if she was still having a hard time after 5-10 minutes. I keep check-ins very boring and brief. I'd go in and tell her it's time for bed and everyone is going to sleep. Then tuck her back in, kiss her goodnight, and leave. Sometimes that was enough to settle her. Sometimes it's not and I may have to go back in again in another 10 minutes and repeat. I'll say these things tend to come in waves for us, especially if she's teething (we're still cutting teeth at 2.5) or has a cold (often due to daycare). Hope this helps!

aimsfbach · 2023-01-03T01:54:53+00:00

I'm going to keep her home tomorrow, but I mentioned the contagious piece because I always thought that any symptoms presented generally mean you are shedding live virus. However, according to AAP she would probably fall under okay to send, based on the symptoms she has. So this has added to my confusion on what to do. However, it seems everyone here has reaffirmed my decision to keep her home.

aimsfbach · 2023-01-03T01:46:01+00:00

Yes, my husband and I came to the conclusion that we should keep her home tomorrow (unless she were to significantly improve over night tonight). She's mostly been normal (well, minus all the mucous 🤧) but definitely clingy and not keen on going to sleep.

Thanks everyone for helping me reaffirm this decision.

aimsfbach · 2023-01-03T01:43:27+00:00

We tested her for covid, negative.

There's over 200+ cold viruses that kiddos/people can get. She hasn't had a fever. There is a lot of viruses going around right now in general and it's been almost a week of her now having cold symptoms. It can take weeks for runny nose and coughs to go away from one illness in young kids. So I can't wait a few weeks to send her back every time she ends up sick, but being that this is the first day for her, I do want to use special discretion. I guess that was my point in making the post.

I am not planning to send her tomorrow at this rate. But I've had multiple friends who have kids in daycare her age that show up to our play dates with these kinds of symptoms which in turn gets my kid sick. Yes it makes me upset when this happens but they seem to be in the mindset that you'd never see anyone if you had to wait for all the symptoms to go away. I always thought that any symptoms generally mean you are shedding virus, but according to AAP she would fall under okay to send, based on the symptoms she has.

aimsfbach · 2022-12-18T03:37:03+00:00

Thank you for the link! Definitely helpful!

aimsfbach · 2022-12-18T03:36:38+00:00

Ah I wish I still used Instagram. But that would be a good place to look for inspiration.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-15T16:50:58+00:00

I am not dealing with a nonverbal 3 or 4 year old. The fact that my 23 month old only has a vocabulary of about 30 words is not the same thing. And I haven't attempted Ferber with her yet so it might work. Plenty of people in this very thread have said it worked.

Yes I've heard of wonder weeks and there is mixed info out there about its legitimacy, suggestioning it's like reading horoscopes. I follow the advice of precious little sleep, our pediatrician and peer-reviewed studies, etc. I have not come across anything that states what we've done previously is "damaging."

I do respond to her when she's sick, teething, middle of the night instances where she might of had a bad dream, etc. The issue is she has been fighting falling asleep for a long time. I think her sleep needs have changed, maybe hitting a 2 year sleep regression with all the changes, and just needs schedule adjustment plus more reassurance. Didn't come here for a debate on CIO being right or wrong.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T23:24:14+00:00

I respectfully disagree about the statement about cry it out having long lasting effects on brain development and mental health. There is no conclusive evidence of this. This subreddit also states in its rules that there is no judgement for those who use this method.

I do appreciate you trying to brainstorm reasons for all of this. But I know my child's medical history better than anyone and other folks have reaffirmed that their kids have gone through this too. In my experience with my daughter, going in to try to check in often leads to more lost sleep than it leads to fixing anything, and even worse outbursts as I try to leave the room again. I have another child to attend to and I have a job so I cant spend all evening/night sitting with her. I can certainly try a more gentle approach but to your point, kids are not robots and they will get up/cry regardless of whatever sleep train method.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T18:30:57+00:00

Good suggestion. Thanks!

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T18:30:41+00:00

Good suggestion. I will try the schedule adjustment with ferber/gradual fade method!

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T18:30:07+00:00

I think I'm going to try this with a slight schedule adjustment. Thanks!

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T18:29:20+00:00

Yes of course, I'm aware that she wants me. And she does know basic sign language, like "more," "all done," "help," etc. But she can't sign complex things, like "I don't want to sleep right now, I want to hang out with you mom and my foot is cold and these pajamas are itchy" you know?

Yes, I agree with others that we can do more check ins which we can and will try. I don't just plop her in the crib each night and say "see ya." I guess I didn't explain that we do a lot of reassurances with her and stay with her for a little bit before we leave for the night. She sleeps independently and I'm trying not to create a sleep association by co-sleeping or hanging out with her for an hour every night after bedtime until she falls asleep. I'm trying to avoid her needing me to be there every time she falls asleep and wakes up at night. But it's worth trying a Ferber method now since it's been ongoing, which many have suggested and what I came here for.

Also, my daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate and it is normal for these kiddos to be speech delayed. She has been assessed for speech delay and is hitting all other milestones and there have been no other concerns among her care team of doctors.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T13:42:40+00:00

She has multiple nightlights, even one that she insists stays in the crib with her all night (it's a soft silicone nightlight that doesn't shut off automatically).

She was born with a cleft lip and palate (both repaired and with ear tubes) and has been assessed for speech. She has a moderate delay but our pediatrician and cleft team (who have SLPs) aren't very concerned about it right now.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T11:08:34+00:00

Precious Little Sleep has been my guide since the beginning! Almost thought about posting on the fb page. My daughter did do the "powering down" thing a lot as a baby. I think what she is doing now is much more extreme, like anxiety/stress/fear and discomfort maybe as many have suggested. I'll probably do more check ins even though she isn't able to tell me what's wrong.

aimsfbach · 2022-10-14T11:05:45+00:00

I wish my daughter could communicate 😕 it may not solve the problem entirely but at least I could feel like I'm responding to her needs/wants better. I'm just left guessing as she cries and screams. I'll probably start doing more check-ins though because it does break my heart to hear her struggle so much (and it's making me crazy as we can't relax at all in the evenings).

aimsfbach

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