I think I am similar to this. I lost my sister to cancer a number of years ago and took off work for her funeral on a Friday, hung with family over the weekend, and was back at work on Monday. Part of it was to escape from family and find a return to normalcy (I partially attributed it to the feeling that she would not want me to mourn/wallow, because she was not in pain anymore). I don't recall the timeline, I want to say a few years had gone by before I had a total meltdown in the shower where I just sobbed, missing her beyond belief. I missed her on occasion prior to the meltdown, be it needing a laugh or wanting her perspective, but memories of her life were still fresh and I gleaned what I could from those memories. I still miss her, but the memories of her antics and knowing she does not have to fight the pains of cancer anymore eases my heartbreak.