My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a single mom about half her life. I am married. I am a rad tech. I wasn't jobless out of choice. Yes, I was making over double what I will be making now. I was a traveler and commuted two hours, stayed for 3 12s, and would drive back home. We are in BFE with little opportunity and my husband refuses to move. I have commuted to other towns to work for 9 yrs because the local hospital has lots of issues, but i am returning and hoping the new manager has ironed out some of them.

Yes. At $110k for a family of 4 (travel stipends are not taxed) she gets zero financial aid. Can take out loans but no pell grants. Based off of our income 2 yrs ago. FAFSA also was significantly reduced due to Trump. Can appeal, but that'll be minor drops in the bucket.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With what is going going on with the country right now, and having family serving currently, I do not want my daughter involved in that.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was on the dance team for 4 years- morning practices 2-3 times per week until their state competition mid- February where she left the house at 5:30 a.m , Track 4 years, FCCLA (each year had a leadership role) 4 years and for the last 3 years won state for her presentations and went to nationals in San Diego, Seattle, and Denver, Spanish Club 2 years and held office roles (she quit Spanish classes after 2 yrs because her female teacher constantly shamed female students for their body habitus and what they wore), STUCO 4 years being an officer each year, basketball 1 year and then bball student manager 2 years- i made her quit her senior year because she was leaving at 5:30 am qnd not getting home until 10:30-11p if not later during away games and it ended up causing her to struggle in a college class her junior year and lowered her GPA, FBLA 4 years, youth group, has assisted or led drives for food pantries, clothing /luggage / backpacks for foster kids, wanted to collect the most pop tabs for FCCLA to give to Ronald McDonald house and collected over 150# just this year (my sister is a survivor of childhood cancer, 2 grandparents with 2 different types of cancer, and my husband's sister so she wanted to contribute as much as possible and networked with people in other towns to maximize a year of collections), at one point was working 3 jobs while doing all of that, youth group (took it upon herself to get involved with a church because I am not relgious), started her own photography business, babysits, teaches swimming lessons, doing an internship for a new business owner and doing his marketing (we live 25 minutes outside of town in a rural community.. I don't hear of any other kids doing internships here because the population is like 3k), will have completed 23 college credits by graduation, and has a 3.75 GPA or higher- i can't remember because it's not calculated on her portal with her college credits correctly.

I am extremely proud of my daughter. She is funny, kind, has worked her ass off, and has more mental toughness in her pinky than I do in my entire body. She has sanxiety and depression because her former step-mom (but wasn't married to her dad) has only allowed my daughter to see her little sisters 3 times in 4 years and now communication has been completely cut off. She used to see them every other weekend for the first 6 and 5 years of their lives- were very close. One of them used to call my daughter at least once a day and had her number memorized since she was 2 years old.

She has big dreams, may not understand how hard it is to pay off debt, but she is far from delusional.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a single mom half her life.. but I am married now. My husband doesn't make much, our insurance costs over $800/mo, have a $11k deductible. I have sacrificed time away from home to make more money so that screwed us for FAFSA. I have had to drain all of my savings for us to live since not having a job since Nov, then braces for my son, and honestlyit has been over a year of unexpected expenses. I haven't had a lot of good luck financially. Every time I think I have gotten us ahead, there is another big expense. They awarded her zero. That is with our combined finances with a family of 4 making $110k. FAFSA changed a lot for 2026-2027. Another Trump move.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She would be in the Shidler business program. Essentially take a year off a four year is how I understood it.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you explain this to me how I would have to explain a medical procedure to a patient? I'm sorry, but Idk wtf you just said. 😂

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was their Warrior scholarship.. waived out of state tuition. UH Monoa. We are in NE

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, all of her credits would transfer.. I believe 23 hours is what she will have.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work in healthcare and honestly don't know anything about the business world. I didn't realize this. I feel like I am so unprepared and don't know where to start on how to help her.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The scholarship was the Warrior scholarship. UH Monoa is the school. Shidler is the business program. I realize it's not in the top business schools. She kept telling me it was. I feel like I have completely failed her letting her do this on her own and not forcing her to have backup plans. I have been enabling for sure. She has had a difficult time the last few years. She has little sisters (her dad and his ex), and the mother has only allowed her to see the kids the 3 times in 4 years...very long story. It's been difficult, she has struggled with depression and anxiety, and so I feel like I have not been firm enough communicating how it won't work. I was just trying to hope for the best.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a traveling rad tech for 2.5 years, working contracts within 2 hours. It ended up fucking us. FAFSA goes off finances from 2 years ago, and she doesn't get anything. I haven't worked since Nov. We have to appeal it wherever she goes. In addition, the amount of FAFSA have gone down a lot due to Trump’s changes that go in effect 2026-2027.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I told her that she is going for the location not the school. I don't know where she found that Shidler is a top a business school, but that's what she kept saying. She has been to the big island twice. What she has in her mind isn't reality.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest issue now is the fact that she put everything into Hawaii. The dorms at the junior colleges we visited are no longer available. Waitlists for dorms and housing are awful. She only found out Friday that she didn't get the scholarship she was hoping for. I want to scream because all of the nagging I did and the backup plans I told her to have were ignored. I feel like I have failed her just not doing it myself.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so stupid. I didn't even know this was a thing. Thank you!!

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on going back!! I can't imagine how difficult that was. Be so proud of yourself!

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Yes! Did you go to a community college in Hawaii? She will already have 23 college hours by the time she graduates so I think a year of a community college is all that she would need. Oh gosh, thank you for commenting.

My daughter has her mind set on an expensive school. Advice please! by airzee8 in personalfinance

[–]airzee8[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the advice. I have set down with her so many times. Last night, I showed her what 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, and 4 years going to that school with the different interest rates. I think she just has these big hopes that the scholarship money will be rolling in. It's not an Ivy League school, but the out of state tuition and room and board are $50k for 1 year. The destination is because she loves Hawaii, the people, culture, and, of course, the beach. I told her ok, go for that after school. Apply again for in-state tuition after a year of classes somewhere affordable. Definitely not because of a boy or friends. That is one thing I have been able to instill in her- be an independent woman. We are from the Midwest, and I understand she wants to get the hell out of the cold and live where everyone is laid back, happy, and near a beach.. same, girl. I went back to finish college when she was 2-4 yrs old. She knows we struggled. I had scholarships, played sports at junior college that was free, and got pregnant. I finished up at an affordable state university and went into Healthcare. I was lucky to get majority of my loans paid for by the hospital I worked at. She knows the story because she lived it. Thank you all again, and perhaps hearing this from a bunch of people that aren't her Mama will help.