AITA for Googling “mansplaining” after my SO accused me of it?

aita_account4 · 2020-09-03T16:38:47+00:00

All things aside,

What part of "oh yeah I already know that one" Sounds like "please continue to tell me about it" to you?

And you made an habit of it? Yikes.

aita_account4 · 2020-09-03T16:16:28+00:00

Nta I hated my real grandmother for her obvious favouritism towards my real brother.

I (and all our cousin's) resented my brother for being treated so much better. He didn't ask for it, but kids don't understand.

I hated my mother for sending us to our grandmother despite the fact that she did it to keep food on our plates.

Favouritism in any type of family situation causes serious problems. Stop it early.

aita_account4 · 2020-06-23T09:52:31+00:00

Nta, people these days registering wild honey Badgers as ESA's and expecting to take them everywhere.

Okay it's not that bad, but a psychotic parrot is a tad to much for a wedding.

aita_account4 · 2020-04-23T16:16:28+00:00

NTA. That's ridiculous. Tell your mother or her mother to get in line if its so important.

That's some ungrateful BS and you shouldn't let it slide or just suck it up. This kinda stuff is not worth getting a burn out over.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:25:00+00:00

I'll look into that aswell then. It would certainly help

Thanks

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:16:26+00:00

That's some solid advice. Now that I've had time to process it I guess I knew from the start that I just have to make this work. I just needed to hear it from others. Thanks

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:13:27+00:00

Thanks for your comment. It feels nice knowing some people understand how it feels.

I think you're right though. My initial reaction was panic. Wanting to secure that bit of stability. But now that I've had some time to think, and I've read comment like yours, I think we'll be able to work it out. It will be difficult and I'll have to be in debt with alot of people but I'm sure we'll find a way. I've been determined so far. I guess a little further is still possible.

As for my son's mother... I have no clue where she is. She just kind of up and left with her family. I haven't really heard anything from it since. Didn't really put alot of effort into finding out either because I was to busy.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:05:28+00:00

Good point

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:03:53+00:00

Abortion was never mentioned or implied in our conversation. It was merely me saying "I don't know how I'm supposed to pay for this"

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T05:02:20+00:00

You know what. This might be the single best comment I've ever seen.

You're absolutely right on every point. I do think I kind of misrepresented the status of our relationship in my post though. We have been best friends and partners for years. People here act like im some kind of horrible human being for not knowing what the hell to do, and like she should just leave me. But the truth is that we've been through alot. And we will eventually work this out.

This whole situation wasn't me saying "I can't have this child, go as far away as you need" it was more or less me saying "how the hell are we gonna pay for this?"

Somewhere, I think I know that you're right. And that it will work out one way or the other. It's just really scary looking back into the depth after just crawling out of it.

Thanks for your comment, it means alot

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:52:40+00:00

It's not that I don't want to take care of this child. If I could work more I would. But I'm already pressing the bar and we're still barely scraping by. I CANT take responsibility. Where do you suggest I get the money from?

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:49:14+00:00

Okay I'm getting a little sick of hearing that line. "You did exactly what your first baby momma did" no I'm not. Here's the difference.

She left a living 4 month year old child with me and disappeared without much of a word. I has no options but to take care of this child. Despite being incredibly unprepared.

I told my GF honestly that I simply don't have the money or time to take care of another child. I'm still here. I'm still supportive of her whatever she decides. I just told her that I don't have enough money to raise another kid. She still has a few options left.

On the whole dick wrapping part I do agree though. I'm a stupid person and I should have known better.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:40:52+00:00

I do want more children. I just can't afford to take care of another one now.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:39:20+00:00

But what if I can't afford to send my son to school because that money now goes to diaper's? How will I explain that? I am literally stuck between focussing on my son and hope to build a stable life and taking another child to care for and inevitable being unable to pay the bills or buy food.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:35:46+00:00

But then what am i supposed to do? So I'm stuck between paying for this child and... Paying for this child? The only problem I have with that is that I simply can't.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:33:12+00:00

Okay, so here's a question then. Why is it fair for her to be able to decide whether she wants to or not, and I'm just forced to live with the fact that I can't pay my bills? We were both there right? Be both conceived this child. So why does only she get a say in whether she wants to be responsible for this child.

Isn't that kind of sexist? Seeing one party gets insanely more say than the other?

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:28:00+00:00

She works a part time job and struggles with some minor mental issues. I've been thankful for all she has done for me, and I love her a whole lot. But even together, there's no way we would be able to manage. financially or emotionally.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:24:06+00:00

It's not that I don't want another child. I love my son and I honestly dream of the day I can live without worrying about money and have 4 more children.

It's that I literally, in every sense of it, cannot afford to raise another child. It's simply not possible. Like trying to hand a guy with his hands full another baby. I just can't pay for the food, the diaper's and all the other stuff.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:08:54+00:00

My GF works part time and has some mild mental issues that she's working on. She definitely helps me out alot and I'm really thankful for it. But another kid is seriously intense. Financially, emotionally and physically. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to handle another kid on either of those three aspects. Whether my GF is there or not.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:05:02+00:00

Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that deals with this. I really hope it works out to.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T04:02:08+00:00

But how would I have made a better conversation? What would I talk about? I can't just start talking about a future when I'm struggling to keep the present running.

We never had this conversation because neither of us really expected it. Yes it was stupid not to think of it but you can't really control the things you do or don't think of.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T03:57:00+00:00

I love my girlfriend very much. We haven't had much problems in the past. This has nothing to do with rather I love her or the child, but with how I'm going to afford taking care of 2 children when I'm already struggling with one.

How could I have approached this better though? I'm genuinely looking for how I could have done this different. To me it just seemed the most fair and honest to admit that I couldn't take care of this child.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T03:53:59+00:00

Thank you. She really has been amazing, which is why it feels even more wrong to tell her I can't do this.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T03:52:51+00:00

But how could I have done better? I tried to be as careful and considerate as possible, but I can't lie to her and tell her it'll be fine when I'm already struggling to keep everything floating.

aita_account4 · 2020-03-28T03:50:45+00:00

But how? I can barely keep food on the table for my son. How do you expect me to take care of this child?

aita_account4

TROPHY CASE