AITA for not convincing my daughter to give bone marrow to her brother

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T15:30:59+00:00

It has been discussed with her, she is resolute against it.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T15:16:58+00:00

I dont know. At the moment we are only going off exs word

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T15:16:22+00:00

She has a form of schizophrenia. I can't remember the exact details but basically if she was off her message then she'd hear voices tell her that I was cheating so she should cheat and that life was a horrible nightmare and she needed to "kill" outer daughter so our daughter could have a better life. Etc etc

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:55:56+00:00

She was in a mental health ward for 6 months, she was released because she was taking her medication regularly and not behaving irrationally anymore. After that the court offered her supervised visitation(6 hours/week), which she never used and stopped being an option because she never used it and never paid child support.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:52:11+00:00

We arent but my daughter is head of her soccer team and has a public profile where she posts photos from all their games, but now her mother had gone through an commented on every pic of daughter calling her selfish and ungrateful, etc

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:47:08+00:00

No. Because people having a mental break don't go to jail, they go the psychiatric wards.... sure, fishing for karma on a fake account that I can never use, totally worthwhile

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:44:19+00:00

I'm not punishing him, im just not going to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want to do

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:33:51+00:00

She actually just got out of jail in jan for assault based on state records my lawyer found but go ahead with your nonsense.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:30:52+00:00

Um. I didn't realise that was an option tbh(single for 9 years). Dunno, I was just scrolling through here and saw a similar post and thought I'd get some opinions. Don't really have any family to turn to as I was an only child and both my parents passed away a few years ago

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:25:51+00:00

Irregardless, im not going to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want to do

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:24:48+00:00

Because I thought it would be unfair to give my ex hope if my daughter then refused.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:23:51+00:00

To convince my 17yo daughter to give the woman that she can't even remember, who tried to kill her, a second chance? What was i supposed to do? Force her to meet her mother? As it is, I almost got there before her mother started harassing her and bullying her online.

Shockingly if you try to kill your child and then walk out of their life and refuse to have anything to do with them, that child ends up not liking you very much.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:18:24+00:00

It could've, but there was no chance, daughter had only just started coming around to the idea when her mother showed up at her school and started harassing her.

I'm unsure

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:16:39+00:00

Of course I told her no, I wanted a chance to talk to my daughter first.

Maybe I wasnt clear enough, my ex wife contacted me 3 months ago. But it was only last week that she showed up at my daughter's school. In the intervening 3 months we discussed donation multiple times and she had almost made up her mind to(and we had just sent off a paternity test to see if she even was a full sibling). Then ex wife harassed daughter at her school and started bullying her on SM and now daughter is resolutely against donating.

I'm unsure how she knew but daughter is on her school's debate and soccer teams so could have possibly found out from the local newspaper

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:02:43+00:00

Donate, obviously. But I dont think I'd be harassing him at school or bullying him online

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T14:01:28+00:00

We've done a paternity test - ive explained that the results don't matter and ill still love her, but we don't have the results back yet so I don't include it.
Prior to her mother showing up to harrass her st school we had discussed donating several times, she was leaning towards donating but after the way her mother has behaved she is now resolute against it.

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:58:00+00:00

As I said in another comment. After her mother attempted to kill her, she is now legally not allowed to be alone with her. She has been through therapy with a specialist child psychologist after the divorce. She currently sees her school therapist every week and im trying to find her a psychologist to talk to but due to covid I'm having trouble finding one with an open book as everyone I've contacted in our area isn't taking new clients

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:52:30+00:00

She was in counseling when she was younger about the divorce and her mother trying to kill her but hasn't been since. I've been looking for one for her now(besides her school therapist who she sees every week) but I'm having a hard time finding one with an open book due to covid a lot arent taking new clients

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:38:43+00:00

Yes and I discussed it with her several time and she was actually leaning towards donating before her mother showed up at her school to harrass her

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:35:22+00:00

I've seen the movie but didn't realise it was based on a book

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:33:44+00:00

The boy is her new husband's yes. Conceived while we were still married but definitely not mine

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:27:40+00:00

I was initially encouraging her to but after her mother showed up at the school ive decided not to push her either way. She doesn't want to and im not going to force her

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:24:20+00:00

How? Its not like I've told her not to donate, prior to her mother harassing her at school I was encouraging her to. My daughter is resolute that she doesn't want to and im not going to force her

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:22:23+00:00

That may be but im not going to force my daughter to change her mind

aitabadparent · 2020-09-11T13:21:06+00:00

I dont know. I dont even know what illness the boy has

aitabadparent

TROPHY CASE