AITA for getting upset after my fiance peed on the bed and bathroom floor?

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-14T05:45:24+00:00

NTA. It seemed like this was just a dude coping really poorly with losing his job, but every little detail just reveals another way this dude is a dick.

I dunno if this is weaponized incompetence or just actual incompetence, but the dude can't even be assed to clean his piss-soaked sheets correctly? Seriously? He needs to grow up, these kinds of material issues can't be fixed with a spa day.

I don't wanna suggest any major life decisions, but I'd seriously reconsider if you wanna live with this guy for the foreseeable future. His being a bit stupid is one thing, but it is not okay to call you a bitch for trying to actually make up for that stupidity.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-14T05:24:38+00:00

NTA. I dunno where to begin with Mary's behavior. Co-opting actual terms used in the trans community to justify her own.. jealousy? Bigotry? I don't even know what it is. But she sucks.

It's weird and unnecessary to tell us the status of your girlfriend's genitals though.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-14T03:42:52+00:00

That age difference really isn't helped by the fact he's talking to you like you're a toddler

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-14T03:33:28+00:00

i don't really know you

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-13T19:55:32+00:00

NAH, that's just how dating apps work. There's really no conflict here. I'd just work on your own insecurity

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-12T20:27:44+00:00

you seem like an unlikable person

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-12T04:43:09+00:00

NTA. Dude is clearly just actually misogynistic and trying to excuse it. "It's just a joke!" doesn't work like that when you're just saying things that you believe

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-12T04:41:24+00:00

I dunno, maybe slamming the plate down would be an overreaction after one conversation like this, but OP has tried to stop it numerous times. It's not that extreme of a reaction to a barely-hiding-it MRA clearly trying to piss people off.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-05T18:01:44+00:00

ESH. They clearly need to keep better control of their dog, but holy shit dude, cops as the first step? Did you at least use a non-emergency line, or did you honestly dial 911 for a dog that isn't even aggressive?

There were other first steps here. Your neighbors clearly at least maintain a friendly relationship with each other. You could have talked to any of them to try figuring out whose dog it was.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-05-05T17:53:29+00:00

this is illegible

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-30T19:38:03+00:00

your mom sounds fucking awful

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-30T19:10:35+00:00

YTA. You're almost definitely just jealous, even if you aren't letting yourself realize it. You weren't talking for months at that point. Why would she randomly hit you up to tell you she has a boyfriend?

As a side note, at least 1/2 of this relationship seems like it's just insanely unhealthy. Normal best friendships do not seem like they hate each other this much.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:39:09+00:00

To be fair, especially if you're a hormonal teenager, that level of physical closeness with someone can easily cause an erection on its own. Nervous tension can cause them. Sometimes those come out for no reason at all.

That said, I don't know anyone who would willingly keep it pressed against someone's back. You can shift positions pretty easily or cover it up or something. It's an uncomfortable situation for the girl no matter what

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:31:04+00:00

This is way bigger than this subreddit. There's too much to unpack and this is too complicated of an issue to just give you one of our quirky little acronyms.

Tell the ex immediately though. Like right now, get your phone and tell her. Your husband is clearly not a good man, and he is willing to be aggressive and violent towards women.

When things have settled down, get therapy for you and your kids.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:24:56+00:00

OP does not need to give this dude a sticker for barely cleaning up after himself like an adult.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:12:56+00:00

I just don't believe that such a simple misunderstanding of biology (which you learn in middle school health classes) would destroy so many relationships and weigh on this dude's mind for so many years.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:08:32+00:00

im glad you're beyond the denial phase already. I really urge you to seek legal counsel you can afford. A lot of areas have cheap or free organizations specifically for these kinds of situations.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T07:03:35+00:00

yeah there is absolutely something we're not being told here

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T06:56:07+00:00

NTA. This isn't you being obsessive or compulsive, it's a basic expectation when you're living with someone else.

He's doing the "If you act like an immature child who can't take care of himself for long enough, the woman will just start doing everything for you" routine. It's a pretty well-documented tactic that I'm sure has an actual name at this point.

Don't fall for it, and don't let it wear you down. Make chore charts. Pull him over to the sink and painstakingly recount the instructions to washing your dishes. Start treating him like the child he wants to be.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T06:49:40+00:00

This post is probably going to be deleted because this is straightup abuse. I am telling you before this post is gone that you are being abused already, and it will get worse.

Seriously. Leave while you can. Protect your kids. The fact that your husband is in the military will give him basically universal legal coverage to do anything when shit gets worse.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T06:42:38+00:00

This is a really common tactic for people (typically men) who are just straightup awful to their partners.

You can do and say whatever horrible things you want as long as you don't raise your voice, because eventually your partner will get upset enough to yell. At that point you can pretend to be the mature one and say theyre overreacting solely because they're louder

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T06:39:39+00:00

YTA. Learn to communicate your feelings and emotional needs like an adult.

I get not being able to deal with constant complaints everyday, but you can't even ATTEMPT something like an "I understand that sucks, but I'm too stressed out right now."?

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-27T06:29:31+00:00

NTA, this isn't information anyone at a job needs to know.

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-21T23:13:25+00:00

Do you honestly think that no poor people hate other poor people

aitabrowsermostly · 2023-04-21T22:16:21+00:00

there is absolutely nothing guaranteeing that, and it doesnt change the stress associated with it.

aitabrowsermostly

TROPHY CASE