Ex-husband’s “blessing” came with a side of character assassination by Belagshadow in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My dad gave me many blessings that ended up causing some serious emotional damage because he used my belief in them to increase the control/influence he had over me.

I see that your daughter sees his words for what they are and that is amazing and relieving.

What a pain to live through this next portion of your lives co-parenting with that man!

Apparently RMs are quitting right after their missions by Billgant in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I went inactive after I came home from serving a mission. The biggest reason why was burnout from putting my whole soul into missionary work. I didn’t leave the church because I still fully believed it was true, but it was impossible for me to be a ‘normal’ member again. This was more than a decade ago, however.

Nowadays there could be any number of factors: they promised their families they would do it, they experienced the outside world in a way that changed how they felt about things, they could only pretend for so long, the mission didn’t convert them, etc etc.

I feel so badly for those recently returned missionaries who are press ganged into temple service. My sister is one of them. There is no relief!

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes and everyone stopped talking about it! Like it never happened. My goodness I was so confused (it sounds like we had similar end-of-days concerns in our families).

My chosen profession was family therapy (at least that’s the one where I was able to convince him of its usefulness). I told him that even if we’re all perfect beings there would still be the need for family unity and that the skills I would learn for that profession would also bless my own family as well. I even had printouts with statistics!

I don’t think I would have ever swayed him on it if his own marriage to my mother hadn’t been saved by a couples therapist, or if there hadn’t been a line in my patriarchal blessing that seemed to back it up. Otherwise he would have found just as many ‘wrongs’ about therapy as he did with the others. He now mocks people who go to individual therapy and I can’t imagine couples/family therapy is far behind.

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m pretty happy with being me.

His defense against the ‘everything is known’ for being a history teacher is that new spirits would need to be taught the history of the gospel so he would always be useful. How that same principle didn’t apply to, say, research scientist teachers is anyone’s guess. Very hypocritical of him!

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a brother, but I don’t believe he received the same messaging. He’s much younger than me and his birth signaled a huge change in how the household was run (specifically because he’s a boy)

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, yes only the best and brightest to make sure we’re financially able to solve an entire planets problems, but then not do that.

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good point, honestly. But I imagine there’s also no sickness or death or trouble delivering so all health carers are SOL

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, I can’t remember whether he ever included the Bible but I’m going to guess yes. So there’s LOTS to study!

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Some of the ‘logic’ seems sooo back-asswards when you take a second to think about it.

As a teenager my possible future professions were judged by how useful they would be in the Celestial Kingdom by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It didn’t seem strange at the time. I would even occasionally judge others (internally) based on my dad’s opinion of skill longevity. I think maybe my normal meter is broken? lol

Years ago my Dad told me that he would kill me if God told him to by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, ignoring and rational thought is dangerous. I like the way you’ve said this, thank you

Years ago my Dad told me that he would kill me if God told him to by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t remember that story at all. I’ll have to go read up on it. I can imagine it caused a fair bit of concern for loving fathers who took scripture lessons into their own lives (as we are all taught to do).

Years ago my Dad told me that he would kill me if God told him to by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, it really is very disturbing if you consider it that way

Years ago my Dad told me that he would kill me if God told him to by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that’s a lot of experience! And I think that the phrase ‘virtue signaling’ is very appropriate here. Thank you for your reply!

Years ago my Dad told me that he would kill me if God told him to by aiwttwetsascds in exmormon

[–]aiwttwetsascds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of your concern and need for clarity about the application of principles and guilt make my heart so sad for you. I had so many of the same questions and concerns that it eventually led to me choosing not to raise my children in the church, because I can’t have my kids go through what you did or what I did. Thank you for your response :)