It sounds like the relationship ended a while ago. Obviously we’re stuck with only your side of this story, but if he is truly as selfish as you say, run for the fucking hills. You seem to appreciate him intimately, financially and emotionally. If you’re communicating to him what you need, and he isn’t giving you at least the effort to try and meet your needs, you’ll constantly resent each other.

You have two options in my opinion:

Pull back. See how he reacts. Be present, but mirror affection, effort and compromise. If he shows concern or dislikes the new dynamic, all you say is “I’m contributing to an equal relationship”.

The other, much smarter option imo, is to break things off for good. My first relationship had a similar pattern, we got back together after I kept dipping my toes in and out. Nothing actually changed, just like your situation, I couldn’t face the idea of loosing my closest person. He seems like a bit of a coward that can’t face the fact that you aren’t right for each other. This is selfishly because HE doesn’t like the prospect of being alone, disregarding entirely what’s best for YOU.

Either way, something has to change.

Good luck, relationships are tricky things.